What would make you give up on a great LTR?
I have a great LTR but visa issues are happening. Making it almost impossible for her to stay in the country.
I can keep throwing money at it but I really don't have much more money to throw. I'm already living paycheck to paycheck to try to deal with this.
I know logically I'm young and it'll be alright but I have that fear of giving up on the first good thing I've had. We've been together around 2 years.
Everyone in my life just keeps saying fight fight, get married, do ldr, etc
I'm tired.
MrSupreme 2mo ago
It's taking a toll on you,you gotta think about the future economically and spending your few bucks on affording her a living in your country then I think perhaps it is time to let go. Don't fall for the "fight for your love" blue pill pressure.It means to force love and forced love is self imposed slavery.
In the future when you have enough cash you'll be able to take liberties like dating around with 2-3 girls at the same time or a meaningful stable relationship. I know from experience that spending the few bucks you have in women is not wise, better to recover,grow and then feed the cock.
IHateNames 2mo ago
I think it may be some deep bluepill shit after all these years. I think I'm hoping she leaves so I'll be free but afraid to act on it. 'Don't want to hurt her'
MrSupreme 2mo ago
You can't help hurting people,it's all game,it is always in motion.
Musicgoon78 2 2mo ago
If it's taking that much of a toll, you should let it go. She can come back when both of you are economically doing better. You're young. This probably will just be one of many women.
Don't break yourself to save her.
IHateNames 2mo ago
I really am buring myself at both ends. This has been going on for a long time.
adam-l Moderator 2mo ago
The hard truth is that when young, you should fuck a lot of women
Separate with her on good terms, maybe visit her for a year or so to fuck, until she finds someone else, while working on building your roster of future ex's to fall back on during your dry spells as an older man.
whytehorse2021 2mo ago
Visa issues? Like as in she has a husband and kids and didn't tell you about them?
Musicgoon78 2 2mo ago
What da fuck? Where did he say anything about her husband and kids? Stop making up ghey stories.
Why is this concept so illusive that you have to make up a story? That's retarded.
whytehorse2021 2mo ago
The consulate won't tell him the reason she is being denied. It's often because he's trying to get a fiancee visa but she's already married. It's more common than you might think.
Musicgoon78 2 2mo ago
Why are you telling his story when you don't even know the guy or the situation? This is really weird.
First-light 2mo ago
How good is the relationship? How long would the visa issues go on -usually they do end after so long? How heavy is the toll on you?
Somewhere in there lies the right answer, somewhere at the intersection of those things.
If it really is good, it might be worth fighting through but if it is just familiar rather than good, maybe not, particularly if the costs are great.
Sorry this is a bummer. People who have never brought someone in from another land have no idea how much of a load this extra dimension to a relationship is. Its a huge burden financially to carry and in the end it puts a stress on the relationship emotionally too. Neither party feels they get much thanks for what they have given up either. Its got to be good to be worth it. Only you know if it is.
Don't marry though, just don't do that. So many girls form conservative countries come and divorce their husbands -whether their husbands are western or from their own lands. Don't be that guy, just say no.
IHateNames 2mo ago
it really is good but I'm tired. The visa process has no end it sight. With monthly payments.
The toll is heavy. I make good money but I'm living like I'm poor. I'm ready to give up but I really don't want to break her heart.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 2mo ago
Don't get married.
Especially don't get married just to solve an immigration/visa issue. One of my brothers made that mistake, and that crazy bitch really fucked his life up for a few years.
I'm not sure what to tell you beyond that, except that there are plenty of other women out there. Most of them won't be LTR-worthy, but that's life.
IHateNames 2mo ago
Definitely won't.
How rare are LTR worthy girls in your experience. I've had nothing but horrible LTRs before now
Lone_Ranger 2 2mo ago
it depends on what you are willing to put up with. I have a low tolerance for selfishness, egotism and hypocrisy....which has meant my experience with LTRs has been quite stressful.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 2mo ago
Virtually none of them are worthy.
I've been married for 19 years, and she's hanging on by a thread. If there had been TRP back then I'd have never married her (or anyone else, for that matter).
Only one woman before her was even close to worthy, but geography and compatibility issues got in the way.
All the rest were total garbage human beings for various reasons. Immaturity, selfishness, slutty, no self-control, etc.
Are you granting upgrades to the unworthy?