Theres certain people in my friend circle that ive come to realize wouldnt be as quick to lend a helping hand as i would be.
Recently there was a big contract opportunity that i got through a connection that is high up the ladder in a government department. My first thought was to inform my “close” friends so that they could also hop on board by adding capital to the project and benefit.
They immediately seemed disinterested and were not even giving me direct replies. Keep in mind that i didnt give any specific details yet and just brought up that there was an opportunity that i wanted to share with them. This didnt peak their interest enough to ask for more details, however, if i was to bring up a topic about women or any other cheap dopamine mundane topic then that would immediately peak their interest. They also appear to be at a stage in their lives where they are busy chasing after women which is occupying a large space of their thoughts and actions.
I tend to be a pretty open minded person with an abundance mindset. However, it seems that alot of people nowadays tend to operate with a scarcity mindset and think that life is a zero sum game. They feel that for them to win someone else needs to lose, this keeps them constantly on edge and behave as if they are in constant competition with their friends and those around them. I also believe they dont share their struggles or successes with me or each other for fear of being judged, envied or perhaps wanting to keep things private.
Aside from this they are great friends and we travel alot together, workout, eat out etc. But i feel like the elements i described is whats keeping our friendship from truly flourishing where we can attain success together.
I also feel like the elements that i described is what differentiates true friendships from fake objective oriented friendships. I wanted some pointers on how to properly navigate this without unnecessarily creating enemies, and or ending friendships. I also want insight on these types of friendships that we tend to form in our lives
First-light 1d ago
I would suggest not flushing out the fakes but nurturing the good friends. Don't test friendship, build it and it probably will stand the tests of life. Occasionally you are not sure of someone at first but they turn into a good friend over time.
One clearly has to be aware of negatives -people who are just as you say "objective orientated" but I would suggest only actually being wary of a person when they are clearly acting selfishly. If your interests align and that person might be selfish, carry on with them for now and see what happens, just don't give too much of yourself away. Do not go much further for them than they go for you, then they can't take too much from you.
However, when you receive genuine generosity from someone when it was not in his selfish interest, give that guy back what he gave with a little interest and see what develops.
The example you gave actually looks more like you were the objective orientated one -you wanted to make an investment and they wanted to get on with their lives. If you make a few successful investments in a row, they will no doubt be very interested but maybe to start, they just don't want to take a risk on a tip from the acquaintance of a friend and want to get on with enjoying life. Don't be too hard on them for this. If you have great investment ideas, in time they will really look up to you and want to copy you.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1d ago
Alternate perspective:
You came at them with "an exciting investment opportunity!" but no details. In other words, you asked for money and probably came across like a snake oil salesman.
They probably think you are the fake person.
Just some food for thought.
DastardlyCade 17h ago
I didnt give any details even regarding amount needed and contract payout. I just said guys i got some good news that we can all make money from. And nobody replied. They even had a side conversation in the groupchat, so i disengaged and didnt continue what i was going to say. Im certain if i brought up a mundane topic that provides cheap dopamine like “yo guys i met this fine chick” this would garner instant replies and interest from them.
This got me questioning the quality of this friendship because me personally if the roles were reversed i would at least reply and ask some questions to see what this opportunity might actually be.