Got outside my comfort zone and went bar hopping with some friends. I got a little buzzed and was feeling good but I didn't see any opportunities to approach at all. Every girl was either there with a guy or seemed really deep in conversation with a group of friends. I didn't get any girls looking my way either which made me feel invisible/unattractive.
Was fun but I didn't see any way to put myself into conversations and get any interactions with a girl
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Also i Want to add:
Night game is fucking brutal. You really just have to commit to your approach. Cannot afford to be insecure or awkward. The timing of the day and environment and reasons people go to bars/clubs and the amount of approaches women get means you REALLY have to commit to what you're selling (yourself) or you're fucked. You can't awkward your way into a set.
You REALLY have to just do it and believe in it regardless of the outcome.
joyboy 1mo ago
Don’t think it’s for me then cause this is my main problem. I’ll have to try some activities/clubs near me, not sure where to find them though now that I’m out of university
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
Wrong bars.
This is normal for men.
Find bars with women who are somewhat approachable. They are never going to be sat alone and bored at the bar, but small groups (2-3 girls) can work, especially if they're somewhat open and friendly and not totally engaged in each other.
Girls will look at you if you can get into the top 10% of looks.
If not, you can still do great by learning to talk to them and sexually escalate.
financehardo420 1mo ago
Go to the gym and stop being a pussy.
Jk; kind of.
It’s simple man. Walk in w the guys and beeline for the first open/least crowded bar you see. You’re gonna post here for a couple warm up rounds of drinks: my preferred sauce before I get to work is 2 shots of vodka, a double vodka soda, and another double vodka soda for the road. Will prob take 30min-hour or so for all this to kick in but once it hits you’re chilling.
Now you just let the booze guide you; you’ll be feeling extra confident. Anything goes at this point bc the bar is your playground. See a hot lil rocket across the bar slide on over.
“Hey you’re really hot; im joyboy. We should do shots like right the fuck now”
Blah blah blah and over and over again until you vibe w a shawtie and it’s go time back to crib for a lil naked cardio action.
If you walk into a dead bar (aka not packed to the tits w options, or quite literally every single group of shawties is w their mans) here’s a groundbreaking suggestion: go to a different bar!
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Go to bars with more social opportunities like volleyball/games/pool tables/dance etc
Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
"....or seemed really deep in conversations with a group of friends..."
Dude, wtf? Are you expecting a club with just loads of girls, all hot, without boyfriends, standing on their own, waiting for you? Wtf.
Do you need everything handed to you on a plate?
Just approach already. There really is no magic formular, no patter that you can learn. You have to develop your own style, by trial and error. Go out there and make some mistakes. Back at uni, I was with a small group of like minded guys, and we would take pride in getting turned down. We'd approach like crazy, with lots of different stupid ideas. We would get turned down mercilessly - and we'd laugh about it. The more we got turned down, the more happy we'd be.
It doesn't really matter what you say, its how you say it and what she thinks of you. if you go on the pull a lot, you will start to notice that women really like guys that approach a lot, feel confident, don't give a shit about being rejected, and seem to be having fun. That's it. That's all there is to it.
Here are some examples of stupid approaches we did back in the day
-Approaching a group of girls and pretending that one of us did'nt have any hands (hands were badly hidden inside hoodie) and asking for help.
approaching group of girls pretending that our car was broken, because when we put in in Night time mode (N), it would just rev. Putting in in Race mode, and the car just went backward - and could they help us?
I recall my best friend approaching a girl who was wearing a necklace with the letter 'M' on it, and he just went up to her and asked her if that was M for 'my place'. He converted.
It doesn't matter what you say -the sillier the better. just make sure to have fun, and that they know you are having fun, and that you don't give a shit about the outcome. Women love men that are confident and can pull. They are very motivated about the idea that if they don't go home with you, you are going to go home with some other girl. Women love players. Pretend to be a player. Fake it till you make it.
for the love of god, do not approach by saying 'can I buy you a drink'
joyboy 1mo ago
Dude i just thought there woudl be some opportunities like a girl sitting by herself or looking at me and smiling or giving some indication that she’s interested in interacting. Everybody just seemed caught up on their own thing. I also didn’t see anybody getting approached lol
ogrilla99 1mo ago
Did you go to the bar by yourself? No? Then why the fuck do you think girls go to bars by themselves? Even girls looking to meet guys will grab a friend or two. Who wants to be alone at the bar with no one to talk to?
If you find a hot woman at a bar literally all by herself flashing you ioi's, 99% chance she's a prostitute.
Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
You are not going to find an ok looking girl sitting by herself in a club. That is not going to happen. If an ok looking girl sits by herself for more than 0.0002 of a second, a battalion of spergy simps will descend on her and offer her drinks. Don't be one of them.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1mo ago
You're far more likely to encounter that at a house party, a grocery store, Walmart, on a sidewalk, etc. Anywhere but a bar.
If you want to wait for signs of interest (which was my preferred method, and still is for playing catch-and-release), then bars and clubs won't be very good spots. The women are with their friends and have their bitch shields up.
If you want to pick up chicks at bars, clubs, etc then don't bother waiting for IOIs. Just do like may of the others here said (and @lone_ranger in particular gave you some fucking gold), and just jump right on in. You will face numerous rejections. That's just part of being a man. Power through them, and make it fun. Turn it into a game. Learn from the rejections and calibrate future approaches.
You've got this.
Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
@joyboy - if you want to learn game, you have got to start enjoying the game. that means having absolute iron clad DGAF against rejection. Learn to love rejection - aim to get rejected as soon as you go in the door. The more the merrier. You should be rejected before you even get to the bar to get your first drink.
Your mind set should be that you are impervious to rejection - imagine yourself as a warrior-jester - BRING IT ON, I AM STRONG!!!!
Nobody that is worried about rejection is going to be any good at pulling.
Another top tip - forget about the number of 'rejections'. This is where most go wrong. They think 'well, I chatted to 3 chicks, and none of them were interested, so I guess I'm a failure, I'll go home now'.
it's all about 'time to target'. You can approach 3 girls in 30 minutes. You may need to spend 2 hours at a club before you pull. I personally hate clubs, always have done, but you need to find a way to at least look like you are having a good time - dance - have fun with your mates - chat up chicks, play pranks on each other, do what you have to do. But if you haven't been rejected at least 8 times on a night out, you really weren't even trying.
My best friend at college was the most rejected guy I ever met. You know what else? He banged more chicks that any guy I know. Here's a funny story that @Typo-MAGAshiv might enjoy;
we went out one night to an off campus event, it was lame, just went for the free wine. Tried some game, got rejected a bunch of times until we found a pair of chicks that were headed off to a party - we said we'd give them a ride. So we were driving to the party, and his car broke down on a major road (4 lanes). So we made it onto the central reservation, and called a tow truck - the chicks bounced (hailed a taxi). Then while we waited for the tow truck, a cop car stopped and was writing him a ticket, and he was STILL hitting on chicks that were stopped in traffic. Man was unstoppable.
Thats the attitude you need. Stop waiting for opportunities and just fucking start already.
Musicgoon78 2 1mo ago
Bro this is some Disneyland fantasy.
financehardo420 1mo ago
No shit lol this is real life not the damn movies.
Just like pretty much anything in life you make it happen. Unless if you’re a 6”2 giga chad or an A list celebrity/athlete girls aren’t gonna go out of their way to approach you.
You’re shorter too like you have to go up to the girl. Don’t get in your head ab getting rejected just send it.
Best case: she’s into you and you get laid.
Worst case: she rejects you and you don’t get laid (by her). 1 no closer to a yes.
joyboy 1mo ago
Yeah but I thought i would've gotten some signals or something. I've had random girls call out to me before so i thought i was somewhat attractive but i guess height matters more in the bar scene. And I would have approached if i saw an opportunity but everyone was already involved it just seemed intrusive and unwelcome to approach.
financehardo420 1mo ago
Sometimes you get em sometimes you don’t. Doesn’t mean you just sit in the corner. Bars are my forte; I don’t like clubs bc generally too loud to have convos
Theolympicnomad 1mo ago
This is an extremely low value problem so I’ll simplify it for you. If I out a gun to your moms head and tell you to approach the first girl you see or she dies, what will you do?
joyboy 1mo ago
Lol so what am i supposed to do, just pretend there's a gun to my moms head? I'm not sure how this is supposed to be advice
ogrilla99 1mo ago
It gets easier the more you do it. Here's a simple system that will get you started.
First, find the right bar. Not too crowded, not loud, and with girls in 5-7 range. Hot enough that you'll want to talk to them but not so hot as to be intimidating and bitchy.
Find a spot at the bar and plant yourself there. The key is the bar shouldn't be too crowded so there is space next to you. Wait for a girl to come to the open space and order a drink. While she's waiting for her drink open her with this super-duper ultimate panty slayer line. Ready? Here it is: "How's your night going?"
Even the bitchiest girl will let you off with a friendly "good. How about you?" And the ones that are interested will start a conversation. At that point its up to you to hold her interest but at least the ice is broken.
Why sit at the bar and do this? Because the girls will be alone. Even girls in a group, usually only one will go up to order drinks. So you've automatically separated them from their group. Second, while they're waiting for drinks, they literally have 30 seconds of downtime where they're bored and nothing is going on. It's not like you're interrupting a conversation. Third, if you're sitting there already, then it doesn't seem like you're deliberately approaching them. Fourth, after they get their drink they have an easy way to exit (or stay if they're enjoying your company) without things getting awkward.
And why "how's your night going?" So that you don't have to think about something clever. Don't get tangled up with trying to come up with the best, most perfect line. To start with, just use something simple. Notice that this question also can't be answered with a simple yes / no. Also key. It encourages a woman to give you a response that you can riff off. Ang finally, most people go to a bar to have fun, and most people will be having a good night, so it starts a conversation off with good vibes. It's not like going to a funeral and asking the same thing.
Try this first. You'll still get a lot of rejections but at least it will get you comfortable with approaching and build your confidence that it's not the end of the world to be rejected by a girl. Then you can try more complicated methods.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1mo ago
He means to get out of your own head and just fucking do it.
Power through the rejections. Learn from them and calibrate.
Look at it as a challenging game. Make it fun.
No-Stress-Cat 1mo ago
Me: *walks up to girl* Hi, my name is Chad. What's your name?
Her: "Hi, I'm Candy."
Me: Nice to meet you Candy. Now take off your panties.
derdeutscher 1mo ago
Well what do you expect dude, that they will stand and model for you? For me night game died years ago. If I want to pick up a chick day time is much better. However if you really want to do it on the weekends, I would say body game is the king. Nice pair of biceps opens a lot of doors. After that it comes down to talking about anything for 30 minutes followed by "lets go to my place".
How to approach? I dont know man, take some libido enchancers and dont jerk off, until your dick becomes so horny that it will take over control and find the way. Just listen to your cawk bro.