I've noticed a pattern here.
Many "great" first dates that end up going nowhere.
For context, I am already seeing someone on the regular now. That being said, I'm shopping for a side piece.
I met this bright and beautiful chick 2 weeks ago (electrical engineering student at the military engineers school, tall, tight, model face). It took us a whole week to agree to go on a first date because she had her exams.
Already the aloof type, she takes a long time to reply. But nevermind.
Anyways, we go out 2 days ago. Vibe is good, flow is good. It's a bit short, but since she lives at the academy's campus I have to drop her off before her weekday 10pm curfew.
We say bye, she asks me to send her a website we talked about during the date.
I drive back home. By the time I get there, I receive a short and sweet text message from here.
"Thank you for taking me out today, I really enjoyed our time together heart heart * teary eyes".
Wow, I'm like that's really sweet. I send a short response and move on.
The next day I remember she wanted me to send her a website. I do, and an hour later she responds with a thank you.
I proceed to ask her out for the next day as we suggested over the course of the first date.
Radio silence.
I figure she's already the type to take forever to respond, and she's also busy with her studies, so I let go. The next day since she hasn't responded, I end up making plans with my main chick and send an audio to the new chick asking to reschedule.
Radio silence.
I sigh.
I noticed this, some girls clearly have a good time on the first date. The connection is there, the vibe is there, the tension is there. We even end up making out all the way to sex sometimes.
They express their feelings, their gratitude or whatever, but then they either disappear or make it impossible to set up a second date.
Why?
devise 4w ago
Girls will change they're mind about you in less than 10 seconds. You can really never know.
Lionsmane8 4w ago
Definitely
Musicgoon78 2 1mo ago
Bro you've got to give us more info. We don't know why she flaked out.
You could be giving off the taken vibes. Your escalation game may be off. Maybe it was just a bad fit. Maybe she's stepping out and changed her mind or got caught. There's a million different reasons.
If your looking for a side piece you have to be ballsy and do some dark triad shit. Get her hooked on the first date. Hint at you're seeing someone then use push pull. There's an art and timing to it. Also it really fucks with your morals and emotions. Are you sure you want that?
Lionsmane8 1mo ago
What info do you need specifically?
Yes. I've talked about it with my main.
Mofreer 1mo ago
Did you attempt anything physical when you two went out together?
Physical escalation is crucial in first dates. Even when you get denied, your intentions must be set and well known from the get-go. The whole thing about her texting you is sweet;but what difference does it make if there wasn't anything else beyond a verbal communication between you two? Same thing as going out with a friend.
Lionsmane8 1mo ago
Slightly, the date was short (curfew). So the best I got was my hand on her thigh while I was driving (she left it there and didn't attempt to remove it).
I know his might have played into it, considering that in my experience, the longer the first date, the further I get to push the enveloppe.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1mo ago
why?
Because they aren't that into you. They have better options.
When a girl is interested in you, they'll make time for you. They will let you know for sure they are interested.
You were nice, she said thanks,etc but didn't really want to do a 2nd. At least for now, when she's bored she may hit you up.
Don't let it bring you down. Hey, you admit she's a hot chick, smart (engineering). Ya she's got options, Lots
Lionsmane8 1mo ago
You'd expect.
But she kept complaining about the lack of options and how everyone in her school is a socially awkward high IQ autist. (From observing her, she falls into that category too).
She also complained about how she never goes out, mostly because of the strict military school regimen, continuous exams, lack of quality options, hard material and her mostly introverted temperament.
I was her first date in months apparently.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1mo ago
Never believe everything they say
It just sounds like you didn't impress, which dude, it's ok. She's probably an 8-9 from what you describe.
I'm an old geezer. Way back in HS can college, I learned, the hotter the chick, the more work she is and the more sexual aroused she is. Then, after my divorce in my 40's, and dating women in 30's/40's, guess what. Same result. They don't change.
If you are an 8, ideally go after girls who are 6-7.
Those girls will be into you, they will show interest in you in all ways, much more than a girl who's an 8-9.
The worst sexual experiences I've had have been with girls who were above 8 (IMO). They just went through the motions.
The best experiences, where they were most aggressive/experimental were with girls who were below my SMV by a notch or two.
For me, I don't want the hottest chick I can get, I want a chick who's into me and show's the desire. But, that's what I want, everyone is different.
Lionsmane8 1mo ago
I don't have issues with girls in that range.
They all poop and fart. Also I am older than them, which totally reverses the dynamic.
She's been clinging to me and also afraid of messing up (afraid of appearing nerdy etc.). Seeking approval, validation etc.
So that's not the dynamic.
I guess any girl is a roll of the dice. Next.
MrSupreme 1mo ago
I agree with what others said,a bit more detail on what you did/say during the date will help.
Sometimes going too far on the first date scares them,other times not going far enough makes them lose interest.Ive been there with the whole "thanks for the date,had a great time"and then they never reply again. I usually dismiss them as just wanting a free ticket to the movies + popcorn or a free lunch.It was just a date,theyre still strangers at that time,dont worry about it,wait a couple days to check up on her next time
First-light 1mo ago
As others have said, there are so many possibilities that you just can't tell why she went silent and trying too hard to figure it out might lead you to wrong conclusions.
Its worth noting you did just fine. She liked it, then changed her mind but she did like it. To use a hunting analogy, when you go hunting you often have to see a lot of animals before you get to shoot one. If you want a trophy deer, it is much harder than if you just want meat. If you are playing for the hot girls with the options and the knowledge that they don't want to mess up and don't have to settle for less than ideal, then the whole hunt is way harder. You will work harder to get them in your sights. This will mean that you will be be prepared to consider harder shots than you would take at a meat animal -like aloof, socially awkward girls, who have a lot on in their studies. You will often you get trophy deer in your scope but they just want stand right for the shot, as they are far away and obscured by bushes. Had you been hunting purely for meat you would have passed them up to start, maybe never even noticed them, but suddenly, you wonder why your success rate has fallen so, have you lost your touch.
I would not over analyse this one. We all do when we lose a deer just before we were about to shoot. Sometimes we messed up but in this case, the animal just got spooked by something. It sounds like it wasn't anything you did, it was always going to be a long shot, where several things were going to have to be right.