Some very good responses on here already.

You need to disengage, very quickly. You living entirely on her terms, which are terrible terms btw. It doesn't matter if they were good terms, a man cannot live on a womans terms and expect things to go well.

You.need.to.disengage.

tbh - you are behaving quite beta. Even the improvements that you made 'which she acknowledged' are not the win you think they are - she has left you, and you have rewarded her behavior by losing weight and getting a new wardrobe??? do you now see how fucked up this is?

My recommendation is to disengage and quite honestly, in your position, the best thing to do is fuck some other chick. but keep it to yourself. Do not contact her, except for child related things.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but it sounds like you are trying to 'comply' your way back into her affections, and this will never ever work. it will push her further away.

hit a ceiling with her

(...)

she wont open up intimately with me

(...)

its avoidance, and called her out on it

(...)

How do I break through this barrier?

(...)

decides to open up

(...)

hoping one day that she finds the emotions

This is all girls' speak. You're wearing the skirts in this relationship.

You need to start treating this whole ordeal like it's over, and you have other options.

What you're doing right now (being a girl) certainly isn't going to get you anywhere - with or without her.

I understand you want to keep your family intact, and that it's not as simple as walking away from a girlfriend. But remember your training, padawan. The basics of male-female dynamics don't change.

She's slowly warming up to me, we go to events and hang out like couples would together, without the sex and what not

So you're currently friendzoned by your wife.

Since the separation roughly 3 months ago, I have lost roughly 25lbs, been working out consistently, changed my wardrobe almost completely, increased my confidence, and despise the beta male I was prior to the separation. I wish to NEVER go back to that version of myself

Why did you, especially as a married man, allow yourself to decline? That's on you, not her bitch friend. Desperately self-improving now, post separation, only goes to show you're doing it for her (a.k.a. in her frame). I'm not saying you shouldn't, but every action (or lack thereof) has consequences. And you can't always fix what has been.

She has acknowledged all these positive changes to me and is aware of them

"Look what I did, mommy".

And as for the rest: Disengage. Stop discussing, stop trying to fix things, stop looking at it like you're in a "process". Pull your attention, and focus it elsewhere - like at preparing your life for divorce

You won't find much help here. I suggest you check out the Married TRP sub reddit...much more useful for your situation.

I'm not trying to be mean, but you are living in fantasy land and total denial. This isn't something that going to get better. The core is rotten. It doesn't matter what you or she does. The feelings and tingles aren't there. You're better off moving on. If you don't believe me, go ahead and waste monthly or even years of getting strung along for nothing.

You could be in a relationship with someone who genuinely wants you and respects you. That's much better than spinning your wheels trying to make something broken whole again when it's forever broken.

You're expecting something to change,she probably has already made up her mind about divorce while kiting you like an Orbiter.They always figure these things out first while the guy is "fighting for his love".

Smart move: get a lawyer,be 2 steps ahead of her, try to get the kids for yourself,she wont have a soul in the whole process so dont count on 10 years of marriage,a spiritual church going connection or whatever. She is being cold and distant,youre not getting it.She will try and use emotions, your history with her, sex and whatnot to keep you on a betatizing chokehold while she figures out the rest of her life without you.

Thanks for joining us here.

I doubt you can break the barrier -she made it not you. A choice to move out with the kids is a hard one and not made lightly. Don't martyr yourself over it. She might not even notice. If she does, it still is unlikely to change her mind. She decided life was better apart. If you deliver her all the services you did when together then really she has everything she wanted -the distance and the benefits.

Women rarely move without having a support structure. Her friend is no doubt a big help and a problem for you but you probably can't do much about it without making more problems than solutions.

The best advice I can offer is that you are unlikely to solve this by doing the same as you always did and hoping she softens. She will only soften if she runs out of support in her new life and decides better the devil she knows. Doing the same as ever is trying the old key in the new lock again and again. She changed the lock.

Work on your own happiness. I am not saying ignore her but you can't just give her all your attention for free while living apart. She needs to work for it and see that you are having a good life as a happy successful guy. That might just change her mind but even if it doesn't you will be happy and moving forward. Don't throw in the towel, just stop fighting for the relationship and do your own stuff a bit. See her and the kids sometimes, don't help her out unless she does you return favours (non sexual). Don't be bitter when you explain this just happy sounding.

Most women leave their husband thinking they can have it both ways. That they can have his money, his house and his effort but not him. When they find that they can't they get regretful or bitter and mean. Be prepared for the possibility of bitter and mean but try to just smile, be kind and mind let her bother you. If you get bitter back, she will likely hate you forever.

To do all this you need to get to a place where you are complete without her. Make this your priority. It won't make you any less attractive to her.