I look young. I'm turning 27 and look 15. I'm short as shit, 5'5"-5'6". I’ve got hands smaller than most girls (cock is nice though, but whatever). This led to many insecurities in the past. However, I have been successful with women before. In fact, there have been periods where I’ve been a ladies' man. I wouldn’t say Chad because I'm not 6 ft, but there have been times where I’ve been dragged into a bathroom within minutes of meeting a girl, times where girls have approached me and dragged me away, and even one time at a bar, a girl on a date with a guy saw how much fun I was having with my friends, came over, started gaming me, and ended up grabbing my face in front of the guy she was on a date with making out with me asking me to go home, despite him being bigger and looking older, etc.

There have been times where I’ve gone on trips with my friends who are 6 ft plus, and I was the only guy who got laid. Even on Hinge, I’ve had days with 50+ likes and HB7s-8s messaging me first, calling me sexy, etc. I’ve even been allowed into exclusive, prestigious gentlemen's networking clubs with men 30/40/50+ years older than me (boring as fuck though). I don't say this to brag; I say it for context. I’ve had social success despite looking like a teenager. In fact, the last girl I was talking to, I had to cut her out of my life because she was so into me, it started to scare me. This was when I was skinny though. Like skinnier then some women lol.

However, I’ve always wanted to be big!!! Lol. I was a BJJ athlete but kind of stopped it to pursue lifting because lifting seems to be the best way to maximize SMV, and I’m obsessed with getting better. I started lifting religiously and went from 129 lbs to 180 lbs. My squat went from 95 lbs for 5 reps to 270 x 8 reps. However, I noticed the bigger I got, the lower my SMV got!!! In fact, I started to feel repulsive, like the fat short weirdo. So I ended up cutting, but I felt like I still had to get shredded in order to get IOIs.

Which made me think: as a short guy who looks young, is getting big or jacked even worth it? I mean, I was 129 lbs, and I’ve had girls say, "OMG, look at his face." However, I was 129 fucking lbs lol.

I’m just torn because I’m getting to the age where I can’t do both BJJ and lifting at a high level due to work, etc. I kind of have to commit to one. So I’m thinking: should I just go back to being skinny and looking like a 15-year-old, or should I get jacked again? I just feel like, as a smaller guy, it’s different. I feel like it is so easy for us to be insecure and want to act and look bigger, but at the same time, there is something that can be beneficial about having a youthful charm.

People love kids. As a man, do I want to be treated like a child? Of course not, but I’m just thinking of how to embrace my strengths instead of being something I’m not.

Does anyone have any insights? Is it better to be shredded and skinny or jacked as a short guy? I’ve seen some short guys who are jacked look intimidating, but every short guy I’ve met who actually does get laid really is a skinny fuck.