TLDR; found out a plate robbed me money (maybe even multiple times), confronted her in a supportive way (offering help etc, she denied everything and tried to back flip it on me), at first had doubts but did set up a trap for her and found out with 100% certainty she was the one taking the bills (and don't know how to handle it from here)
Things were great (sex, her attitude was very cool, she got a degree, had a good family structure, we had friends in common, no tattoos, she had been on LTRs in the past -last one took like 6 years- etc etc). She treated me very well, even made me meet some of her friends and family (cousins), told me everything about other Chads hitting on her, etc (maybe to make me believe I 'had' her). Although she NEVER allowed me in her house or meeting his close family (mom, etc)
The bad things I noticed as worst from her were mostly money related, but here are some I took notes of:
- Overspending
- Being kinda hard to satisfy, like I give something and she wanted more and more, asking for travels and tons of shit
- Maybe she had inability to connect / pair bond or maybe she didn't like me because ended up robbing me on my face
- Tons of shit tests
- Lack of willingness to serve me (denied to stay in the apartment one day for being dirty, instead of cleaning it with me)
- For some reason she knew tons of guys around (in bars, the gym, etc), maybe she did CC earlier and these were the chads that she fucked idk. It was a bit hard to get favors from her too..
- Many nights where she “couldn’t sleep” (casually Thursday, Friday..), maybe she was Chad
- She also posted tons of stuff we did together on social media but without including me (which made me think she didn't want others seeing me on her social media, so she could deny everything, maybe this is fine since she was just a plate, not a gf). And obviously she was in her phone a lot when she was with me, I have no idea who she was texting to but all the time she said her mom or stuff like that (even showed me sometimes).
But going back to the money thing which I believe is the biggest red flag, as per how I found out, at first I had suspicions because when I was with her I arrived with less money (like we went to the mountains, to a hotel, stuff like that, and it did seem weird to me that I had 1 or 2 bills missing, but thought maybe I wasted it and don't remember, it was not a lot and I never kept accounting of cash. However, I brought out the topic to her when eating dinner the other day because it was almost evident it was her (we spent the whole day together and I had around $200 that somebody else gave me in the morning), and she denied everything and told me it would be so bad for somebody to experience that etc etc (maybe she's a psychopath too, idk). This time did ring the alarms to me and started to plan out a way to be 100% certain.
I tried to be very supportive in that talk (like telling her I could help her if she needed, etc, but that I valued a lot honesty, etc), and even with that this bitch kept denying everything and giving talks that would convince me 100% she is an angel
So, today I did leave cash around in my room on purpose, with amounts that look natural (different bills, etc), and took pictures of every single thing just before she arrived. Then I went out of my home to 'buy cheese' and when I arrived I checked again (she was cooking so didn't notice) and I saw that $20 were missing (same as previous times, it was always just 1 o 2 bills to make it more mysterious/less evident on her end).
The thing that confused me more is that she acted pretty normal, she all the time was talking about things that made you think she is a good person (e.g. being kind to service workers, "caring" for her mom, having a pet, etc)
My question is: is it fine to confront her for a second time telling exactly what I did and how I found out this time it was 100% her? Would this bitch change?
Or is this worth a nuclear hard next? I just don't want to lose her for the other values and things, which made me think now I'm developing oneitis and trying to delude myself on thinking she's a good person. Maybe if she wanted me she would have told me the truth the first time we had this talk.
We've been hanging out for 2-3 months, this might have started around 3 weeks ago but I didn't have the proof (only gut instinct).
I also have fears that she can baby trap me now that I discovered this (I never came inside her but we had unprotected sex sometimes). Our income is insanely different, I make more than 6 figures and she is not employed right now
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1d ago
Everyone else already gave you the advice you needed, so I'm going to home in on a pet peeve of mine:
She didn't rob you; she stole from you.
Robbery requires the target to be put in fear of violence, or actually assaulted and battered.
mattyanon Admin 2d ago
pointless
no
Full nuclear hard next, do not pass go, do not collect another fucking $20.
NEXT NEXT NEXT.
She's a fucking thief dude.
Not relevent because you will NOT BE SPEAKING TO HER AGAIN.
First-light 3d ago
I had a wife who stole from shops. She stole from me too till I confronted her and then it stopped permanently. I reasoned she needed a simple dignified way to be able to stop it without humbling herself (like a woman ever wanted to do that without adding permanent hatred to the list of her grievances). I just said I would like the money to be returned to my wallet and we would forget it. It happened. I never mentioned it again. But a wife is more invested than a slut.
If you are going to next her anyway there is nothing to lose from confronting her and seeing what happens. Just keep it polite and friendly not angry and accusatory -just that you know and she can rant as much as you like but you know, so would she please stop it and you two can carry on. Don't get drawn into arguing -no you know, you took photos of the bills before and after. The results might be quite illuminating when it comes to female psychology. She is used to just lying, manipulating men and getting away with it. She is not ethically conflicted. So which way will she go? Manipulate till it fails and flounce out or manipulate till it fails, just shut up and carry on with you (stealing or stopping stealing or actually apologise (highly unlikely).
Of course steal back and hard next is very attractive ethically but then you might miss out on some sex.
fumandobebiendo 3d ago
I already confronted her one time and she denied everything, how could I do it this second time that I'm 100% sure? like just show her the proof? I feel fear of her doing the same shit or she realizing I caught her this time and elevating his craziness (e.g. getting pregnant of somebody and telling it's mine, saying I'm crazy, yelling, harming herself and telling it was me, etc), i have no idea what to do to save this up
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1d ago
Some things are not worth saving.
First-light 3d ago
I think if you are too invested, a second confrontation may go wrong. She will have the upper hand. You will become distressed if she goes crazy or starts bare faced lying.
Look at it like this. This has to stop. Either it stops with her consent or she goes. Those are the only workable solutions, so you have to prepare for worst case and get relaxed about it. She is just a dishonest slut. She fucks well but you have had others that did too and will have others again. You can't keep a slut who steals.
When you are at peace with that, then get photographic proof (or just fake it if you can do so and get the time stamps OK) then talk to her about it probably post nut when you are not too thirsty. Wank if its more convenient but don't start it pent up with desire. She will likely call you all sorts of names and try to make you the bad guy for setting her up (if you ever get so far as for her to even admit it might have been her). She will tell you you were using her to have sex with her when you knew. You just stick to "i value you and I want this relationship, so I have waited to talk to you about this but I can only have you and this relationship if it stops". No angry words, no need to argue back at her. Just say that and leave it there. Its up to her then.
SpiritualEnema 3d ago
You’re way too over invested in this “plate”. You’ve giving girlfriend treatment even though she blatantly disrespects you. It’s pretty obvious she is a hoe.
fumandobebiendo 3d ago
this might be true, when thinking objectively, I could even see her as my gf, which makes me think again I'm getting oneitis like a fucking idiot
do you think there's a slight chance of this turning around?
mattyanon Admin 2d ago
No. Zero, none.
You've already given her chances, she's already blown through them.
Simple brutal hard truth time: people don't change.
Bang this into your head.
People don't change.
Wish it wasn't true? Me too.
Wish people would wise up and learn and improve? Me too.
Believe in second chances? Me too.
Think you can always work it out if you talk to each other? Me too.
Doesn't change a fucking thing: people don't change.
She stole from you and lied to you, multiple times.
People don't change.
SpiritualEnema 3d ago
No. You gave her a chance to come clean and she lied to your face. Cut bait and move on. Don’t play Captain Save-A-Ho
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3d ago
More like Captain Save-A-thief
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3d ago
Dude get away from her. You have NO self respect
fumandobebiendo 3d ago
isn't there a chance of her changing if I bring it up in a talk how I found out, etc ? literally if it wasn't for this, I would think she is ltr material. Which also makes me think I'm coming back to my blue pill days and I'm inside oneitis without wanting to
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3d ago
No.
Musicgoon78 2 3d ago
Fuck no! Have some standards man....
RPU_mike Admin 3d ago
“You have self respect.”
Are you sure?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3d ago
Typo. Fixed
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1d ago
Don't you blame that shit on me!
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1d ago
Well i DID
Musicgoon78 2 3d ago
Bro...... What the fuck are you doing? I didn't even finish reading the post. Ditch this grifter fucking hoe. You should even consider anything else. There should be no tolerance for this sort of shit.
fumandobebiendo 3d ago
will do, seems all the ideas I had about keeping her / saving this are coming from bluepill shit, the worst thing is something inside me feels the need to save this, or to no let her go (i.e. oneitis), fuck
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3d ago
I likewise didn't finish reading, some AskTRPs are truly just in the title
RPU_mike Admin 3d ago
But she made his pee pee feel good…
Redpillpusher 3d ago
Go back to her and make her your official girlfriend so she doesn't have to sneak around to take your money and you can openly be the fool and sucker. Guys like you disgust me. On here yet you are truly no different than one who hasn't taken the red pill, in fact you're worse because they are ignorant. Ask yourself this: if you had proof that a casual male acquaintance that you knew for only 3-4 months was stealing from you, would you take the same compassionate approach? Asking him if he's experiencing financial difficulty? If so, I apologize because you're obviously a empathetic man slow to anger. But if it's not (which I highly suspect) then you deserve it for still thinking that because she's pretty and makes you orgasm that she's exempt from the rules of society and engagement. Suckers like you are part of the reason gender relations are horrible now and you should actually be happy: you can use this as a sneak peek to your future when your wife legal robs you in court
fumandobebiendo 2d ago
thanks for this, it helped me put things into perspective, she's already gone from my life, ended everything yesterday, feeling sad but it's what it is
Redpillpusher 2d ago
The fact that you feel sad instead of indifferent or at least anger lets me know that this is far from the last time you will be played & that you can't get it into your thick skull that you shouldn't put females on a pedestal. I don't think you understand how little this female thinks of you. She obviously thinks you are an idiot because she stole from you repeatedly in the past. She also has no fear of you nor belief in your masculinity because after stealing from you the 1st time she returned numerous times. The few times I heard of stories of females stealing from men they vanished because even though they might have thought the men they were dealing with were suckers, they at least had to acknowledge that they had some semblance of masculinity and that there was a real risk they could end up in the hospital. She has no fear nor respect of you. Really use this event to be truthful with yourself: you have a lot of work to do on yourself, you need to actually take the red pill, &, despite making 6 figures, your SMV is not high at all. This doesn't happen to "Chad". Chad can leave his money around at night and have his money untouched in the morning with a friendly reminder from his girl that he left his money out while drunk last night.
fumandobebiendo 2d ago
good point. Yes I also feel kinda angry, what makes me feel worse is that I might enter a dry spell again, and that even when I thought I was "advancing" in my RP journey it was all just smoke because this fucker was just playing me (i.e. I was seen like a sucker instead of a high value dude). I'm almost sure she probably didn't do this to others, e.g. her LTRs, etc, if not they wouldn't have lasted, so it makes me think she saw something very dumb in me to attempt this and sustain it for weeks. She also did some mind game fuckery with me to back flip it on me being 'inattentive/distracted' with the money, like it was all due to me not paying attention, etc, blaming it on me and didn't have the guts to tell me in my fucking face that she did it when confronted, I had to discover it by setting her up (so she was not even worried, because didn't care to come to my home and steal every fucking time, if not it would have been more difficult to catch her, literally I caught her the first day I tried to set her up).
This one in specific had all the genetics I would have wished for in a daughter, like she was HB9 or so. I think this also made me lower my guard by a lot, I even thought about children or marrying her (this might be blue pill as fuck though)
Obviously I will be monitoring for this every time now in the future with any other plate, but what else do you think I can do to prevent this from repeating? Like, how can I be respected or feared?
Redpillpusher 2d ago
As I've been conveying repeatedly in these posts, the only way to prevent this from happening again is to stop treating females as privileged, elite citizens above men but based on your posts that still is an utterly foreign concept to you. So because she is very attractive, you were seriously contemplating a female you've known for 3-4 months? Seriously? You need to realize that you are a mark to many in this dating market man, a 6 figure making young fool. To avoid this, treat women the exact same way you treat men whenever possible (I.e. same level of accountability, etc.) and I guarantee this won't happen again.
The second way to ensure this never happens is to have people fear and/or respect you. You want people to give you the respect you feel you deserve? That's part of the work I said you must do on yourself. I don't know how you interact with others so I can't tell you what you must do. I got my respect by giving respect only when I feel it's due and by not being afraid to engage in conflict, whether it be physical or otherwise. That has harmed me professionally and in other aspects of my life but I'm fine with those consequences and have moved past them. To be respected you must not be fearful of conflict. You can decide which arena you will tolerate the conflict in (boxing for example). The energy and testosterone boost that results from maintaining yourself in that environment will be obvious on you to those who see you