Two weeks ago I met a girl at a party. I'm a good looking guy in late 20s and have no problem approaching women, so one hour later we're passionately making out in my car. It turned sexual but she was on her period so couldn't take it far.
She gave me her instagram. Turns out she's a model (and also a scientist). She said she was always in relationships throughout her life, had just broken up with her bf 3 days ago, and it was the first time she hooked up with a random man at a party.
We kept talking and met at the next opportunity. It was for a short time but we made out again. She literally couldn't keep her hands off of me and was very passionate during kissing. She talked about taking things to the next step, but she had to finish a project and would call me if she doesn't finish too late. I dropped her off to where she works, but it was already quite late. She finished around midnight so nothing happened that night. I said no worries, I could be free in the coming days.
Then she sent a long text saying that it's very nice kissing me and all but she wasn't sure about spending the night, and she had to "free herself" and didn't want to play with me.
I replied it's ok, if she doesn't want it I can't force it, but she shouldn't be worried about playing with me given that none of us were looking for something serious at the moment. She said "you're right", and ever since (about 4 days) she's been texting me way less both in frequency and content. I just matched her frequency, and then didn't text back altogether in the end. I can see that she's not online much and is visiting her family at the moment, but I know that if a woman wants to talk, she will make the effort. So it's probably a dead end now.
I'm just confused because she just went from literally jumping on me to no interest at all way too quickly without anything happening in between. What can I do better in the future to prevent this from happening?
Musicgoon78 2 14h ago
Well it sounds like you were taking the fast track to oneitis. No one here cares about her accolades.
She most likely lost tingles.
She's not really invested until you've fucked her.
I imagine from how you talk about her that you came off too enthusiastic and agreeable.
Spin more plates. That way you could give zero fucks about her career or her modeling. Abundance will do wonders for your frame.
NeoSpartan 8h ago
No man anywhere cares about a girl's social status unless he is a dickless simp.
It's weird how they never seem to learn that. Too many simps simping on social media and reinforcing it I guess.
But would they ever want to get fucked by any of them? Clearly not. Yet it persists.... feminism is bad.
I read an article recently.
https://law.yale.edu/sites/default/files/documents/pdf/Intellectual_Life/Stevenson_ParadoxDecliningFemaleHappiness_Dec08.pdf
If women were smarter they would hate feminism as much as we do.
Very funny that a feminist academic wrote it.
Maximum irony.
useddetective 14h ago
I actually actively tried to not come off as too enthusiastic, and I already have some plates at hand, but this girl is the hottest I had since moving to this country so it's true that I'm more excited about her
Musicgoon78 2 14h ago
This is one of those weird things: The less you give a shit, the more successful.you are.
This girl may be hot, but there's always something that is less than ideal. I caution against putting her on any sort of pedestal. She's just a girl like any other. Treat her like a basic bitch and you'll be more successful.
This counterintuitive stuff is what works. You're the prize bro. Not her.
MrSupreme 11h ago
Im gonna give you a different perspective,although more details could clear this out.
Maybe she is still interested, and she is playing mind games because she knows she wont be able to see you for a while so if you're still available after Xmas/NYE then maybe she'll be up to it.
If that was the scenario then shes just prioritizing her family and not including you in her plans, why would she,though?
This may or may not be the case,im just thinking a bit longer term
useddetective 10m ago
Well, no real reason to include someone you just hooked up with recently in your family plans in another city.
Maybe that's the case, maybe not. Let's see if she'll text when she's back
NeoSpartan 8h ago
You were a rebound brother.
This sort of thing usually happens when you are a rebound.
If you really like the girl, take a step back for a minute. Keep it nonsexualish for a few weeks then offer to meet up again when/if she gives you signs. Ask how she is feeling and all that sort of thing. Breakups always make girls swing from mood to mood for a while.
But you did nothing wrong man, this is what happens with rebounds. Probably best to move on tbh. Usually they just want to hook up with a guy they find attractive to boost their confidence, but feel bad about being a slut after.
You never know though. Your instincts were right about talking your foot off the gas. Try again later maybe, you never know. If it's worth the effort.
You can always do a trial balloon in a few weeks. Send her a funny meme or something.
Say it reminded you of something cute she did. Always a good line. Also ask how she is doing and etc.
useddetective 15m ago
Good advice. I'll just wait for her to reach out for now I guess
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First-light 1h ago
Its useful to see it from her point of view too. She broke up. Women usually go through a slut phase when they break up. They want the affirmation that they still have it. They want to feel what they are missing -the physical side, which I think means more to women than to men in some ways -they don't do as well when they don't have it. She knows she is on her period, so she isn't feeling any pressure to decide anything, she will just have a make out session and feel good. She knows she was playing with you and then you tell her you are not serious (they rarely want to hear this. They like to think you take them seriously, even when they don't want commitment, they want to think you would give it if they did.
The rebound effect is what this is about. You did nothing wrong, it just didn't quite connect up. She wasn't that interested in the end. You might be able to play it right to smash once or twice yet if you texted back a bit interested and made suggestions but she is not that interested because why else would she go to work not to bed with the guy she is making out with? She had her priorities clear but she wanted to feel the heat of attraction too. As usual a hot woman can have it all her way.
useddetective 34m ago
Yeah, that's a good point of view.
She had to finish a project before going on christmas holiday so it makes sense she chose that, and she was the one who suggested meeting up that day anyways. In any case you are right, I'll stop this pursuit and focus on others.