Two weeks ago I met a girl at a party. I'm a good looking guy in late 20s and have no problem approaching women, so one hour later we're passionately making out in my car. It turned sexual but she was on her period so couldn't take it far.
She gave me her instagram. Turns out she's a model (and also a scientist). She said she was always in relationships throughout her life, had just broken up with her bf 3 days ago, and it was the first time she hooked up with a random man at a party.
We kept talking and met at the next opportunity. It was for a short time but we made out again. She literally couldn't keep her hands off of me and was very passionate during kissing. She talked about taking things to the next step, but she had to finish a project and would call me if she doesn't finish too late. I dropped her off to where she works, but it was already quite late. She finished around midnight so nothing happened that night. I said no worries, I could be free in the coming days.
Then she sent a long text saying that it's very nice kissing me and all but she wasn't sure about spending the night, and she had to "free herself" and didn't want to play with me.
I replied it's ok, if she doesn't want it I can't force it, but she shouldn't be worried about playing with me given that none of us were looking for something serious at the moment. She said "you're right", and ever since (about 4 days) she's been texting me way less both in frequency and content. I just matched her frequency, and then didn't text back altogether in the end. I can see that she's not online much and is visiting her family at the moment, but I know that if a woman wants to talk, she will make the effort. So it's probably a dead end now.
I'm just confused because she just went from literally jumping on me to no interest at all way too quickly without anything happening in between. What can I do better in the future to prevent this from happening?
Musicgoon78 2 1d ago
Well it sounds like you were taking the fast track to oneitis. No one here cares about her accolades.
She most likely lost tingles.
She's not really invested until you've fucked her.
I imagine from how you talk about her that you came off too enthusiastic and agreeable.
Spin more plates. That way you could give zero fucks about her career or her modeling. Abundance will do wonders for your frame.
Baron 2h ago
"Oneitis"? You're enviously coping on the fact you're an incel virgin it is most definitely not an oneitis as the dude literally fucked her thrice and you literally can't fuck pussy at all and that makes your incel rage boil, he didn't claim he was the only one so you're off rails. You're being obtuse on purpose.
Musicgoon78 2 2h ago
Where did you read that they fucked three times? Are we reading the same post?
Musicgoon78 2 2h ago
Wow. You ok? You need some cream for that burning butthurt?
Baron 2h ago
I am not butthurt so I definitely need no cream but still you're definitely frustrated with the guy and you're in fact sneakily attack him in a "covered" "kind" way in your own bitter frustrations. Women don't just lose tingles like that, he was a rebound. She definitely put him high on the hypergamy scale, high enough to fuck him twice in short amount of time so it literally makes no sense for her to drop him to "we are just friends" or 0 zone. He said smth he wasn't supposed to say.
Musicgoon78 2 2h ago
You're obviously trying to pick a fight. And I'm not remotely frustrated with the guy.
And now they didn't fuck three times but two? Are you huffing paint??
I don't think you know me or understand what you're reading or saying. And that's ok.
But you're right, I got this far by being a salty incel on this sub. How could you tell? I guess your Chad vibe just AMOGed me huh?
NeoSpartan 20h ago
No man anywhere cares about a girl's social status unless he is a dickless simp.
It's weird how they never seem to learn that. Too many simps simping on social media and reinforcing it I guess.
But would they ever want to get fucked by any of them? Clearly not. Yet it persists.... feminism is bad.
I read an article recently.
https://law.yale.edu/sites/default/files/documents/pdf/Intellectual_Life/Stevenson_ParadoxDecliningFemaleHappiness_Dec08.pdf
If women were smarter they would hate feminism as much as we do.
Very funny that a feminist academic wrote it.
Maximum irony.
useddetective 1d ago
I actually actively tried to not come off as too enthusiastic, and I already have some plates at hand, but this girl is the hottest I had since moving to this country so it's true that I'm more excited about her
Musicgoon78 2 1d ago
This is one of those weird things: The less you give a shit, the more successful.you are.
This girl may be hot, but there's always something that is less than ideal. I caution against putting her on any sort of pedestal. She's just a girl like any other. Treat her like a basic bitch and you'll be more successful.
This counterintuitive stuff is what works. You're the prize bro. Not her.
Baron 2h ago
This has literally nothing to do with redpill it is a generic "just submissively let her get railed, bro" autism gaslighted with "just give no fuck as she gets railed/give no fucks". Nice advice. And then you say to leave it all to a randomess generator. Pathetic.
Musicgoon78 2 1h ago
Are we on the same planet? Are you freebasing Raid roach killer?
Who said anything about being submissive and her getting railed?
What randomness generator. Do you mean that your getting angry at a random guy like me over things that you didn't read?
MrSupreme 23h ago
Im gonna give you a different perspective,although more details could clear this out.
Maybe she is still interested, and she is playing mind games because she knows she wont be able to see you for a while so if you're still available after Xmas/NYE then maybe she'll be up to it.
If that was the scenario then shes just prioritizing her family and not including you in her plans, why would she,though?
This may or may not be the case,im just thinking a bit longer term
useddetective 12h ago
Well, no real reason to include someone you just hooked up with recently in your family plans in another city.
Maybe that's the case, maybe not. Let's see if she'll text when she's back
NeoSpartan 20h ago
You were a rebound brother.
This sort of thing usually happens when you are a rebound.
If you really like the girl, take a step back for a minute. Keep it nonsexualish for a few weeks then offer to meet up again when/if she gives you signs. Ask how she is feeling and all that sort of thing. Breakups always make girls swing from mood to mood for a while.
But you did nothing wrong man, this is what happens with rebounds. Probably best to move on tbh. Usually they just want to hook up with a guy they find attractive to boost their confidence, but feel bad about being a slut after.
You never know though. Your instincts were right about talking your foot off the gas. Try again later maybe, you never know. If it's worth the effort.
You can always do a trial balloon in a few weeks. Send her a funny meme or something.
Say it reminded you of something cute she did. Always a good line. Also ask how she is doing and etc.
useddetective 12h ago
Good advice. I'll just wait for her to reach out for now I guess
Baron 2h ago
This. He was definitely rebound.
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First-light 13h ago
Its useful to see it from her point of view too. She broke up. Women usually go through a slut phase when they break up. They want the affirmation that they still have it. They want to feel what they are missing -the physical side, which I think means more to women than to men in some ways -they don't do as well when they don't have it. She knows she is on her period, so she isn't feeling any pressure to decide anything, she will just have a make out session and feel good. She knows she was playing with you and then you tell her you are not serious (they rarely want to hear this. They like to think you take them seriously, even when they don't want commitment, they want to think you would give it if they did.
The rebound effect is what this is about. You did nothing wrong, it just didn't quite connect up. She wasn't that interested in the end. You might be able to play it right to smash once or twice yet if you texted back a bit interested and made suggestions but she is not that interested because why else would she go to work not to bed with the guy she is making out with? She had her priorities clear but she wanted to feel the heat of attraction too. As usual a hot woman can have it all her way.
useddetective 12h ago
Yeah, that's a good point of view.
She had to finish a project before going on christmas holiday so it makes sense she chose that, and she was the one who suggested meeting up that day anyways. In any case you are right, I'll stop this pursuit and focus on others.
mattyanon Admin 12h ago
The problem is that you're seeing her a few times, even though it's a casual thing, and this is confusing her. She wants the sex, but she doesn't want to feel girlfriend-boyfriend things when you're not committing.
But she'll come around if you play it right.
Agree to meet up "just as friends". Obviously you'll fuck her, but saying this might take the pressure off.
Fucking her helps, obviously.
Other than that, learn how to talk women into sex without commitment, which is a bit of a dance frankly.
Too much contact puts you in the boyfriend role...... which you are obviously not going to fulfill.
Stay mysterious longer.
useddetective 7h ago
So, after reading all the comments, the idea is to pull back, wait for her to reach out, play it super chill when conversing and escalate physically when we're together, which is pretty much what I was thinking.
If she doesn't reach out then should I still shoot my shot with meeting as friends or not
AbusiveFather1 10h ago
John Cena: Are you sure about that?
useddetective 10h ago
Not really, just quoting what she's saying
Baron 2h ago
Nothing. She is just using you as rebound probably. Or you said something making you look like a simp or meek or needy or literally creepy that you don't tell us. Maybe something you forgot.
I guess you weren't decisive enough. Especially with your "ok, do what you have to do honey" which is literally an "ask your mother" response. You must decisive and selectively honest with women where you must be. Not always though.