So I've currently put some plates on hold because I'm 25 and I feel like fucking some chicks without emotional connection is boring. I've got this girl that seems nice and she does a lot of things to me, we fuck every time we see eachother but we mainly are at my crib. And honestly at this point I have no fucking clue what to do besides fucking her, we watch some movie which she really can't watch beacuse she keeps looking at me which gets annoying because I would want to discuss the movie afterwards or we just put some music and talk. And thats it? I'm feeling too lazy to go out with her somewhere because we usually see eachother after my work (she's in college 22 yo) and I just want to chill, but her company is actually fun. But im bored out of my mind sometimes, so are there any good activities to do together besides fucking, watching shit and not paying attention and cooking?
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First-light 2w ago
This isn't a dumb question. You have got to a point in your relationship where you like the dates and the fucking but what next? A relationship can't be all about going on dates and fucking, that is what a plate is for. There has to be a point where you can sit by the fire together in silence and its fine. If she is the right girl you will get there, if she is an airhead whose body you like playing with, it will be harder.
While the fucking is still hot, is the time to explore this. Otherwise you will find that when it cools a bit you think "I don't really even know this girl". Talk to her a lot. Learn about her family, here stories of her childhood and her plans. Consider doing something practical and constructive with her in the house as when you are doing something constructive together you will be learning to problem solve together and much will come out to talk about. Can you get a hobby together that involves making something or even redecorating a room, women usually like shaping the environment they are in a bit (it can be very annoying but they find it satisfying and it makes them feel more invested). Will she play games with you -computer or board games? Does she like quizzes? Let her pick one of her favourite movies and show it to you. Make a playlist with her and find out why she likes each song. Can you exercise together a bit, help each other with stretching or working on injuries? Even cooking has great potential if she likes cooking as you can say "lets try to make x dish this weekend" and then you have to go and buy all the ingredients and try to make it right. Don't be afraid to do some admin in front of her too. If you have to do some work or answer emails, do a bit of it. If you are bored and can't find anything to do with her then you need to be able to just read while she scrolls on her phone and its all fine. You are an individual as well as part of a couple and you both need to be comfortable with that reality together.
In the end a LTR has to fit into your life and be an asset not be a plate to entertain constantly. Right now you need to find out all about her, work out what your things as a couple are going to be and at the same time ease into a routine where you can just exist in the same space without you having to entertain her or lead her to do anything. This is not dating, this is having a mate. Use this time when she is really into you and will come round just to fuck to build the emotional connection you want beyond the fucking. Work on being quietly nourishing for each other.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
Do what you want. There's a cool bar in town? go there.
Want to go on a cool drive, do it. Take her with.
This cool hike you like doing or haven't tried? do it
Live your lives. For real
Women are along for the ride, not the destination is red pill 101. Did you guys skim the sidebar or something?
Secondly, she should be pushing for exclusivity and earning it, not YOU
quassis2001 2w ago
Dude, did you read my post? I already know what to do outside of the house, I'm asking specificaly for what to do when she's at my place and we aren't going anywhere. Also I'm not pushing for anything, I think I worded myself poorly (english is my second language so there may be miscommunication). Think about my question like this - what would you do with some girl at your house when you already was fucking for 10 hours straight and pussy is the last thing you want to see but simultaneously you want to spend fun time without going anywhere with her.
Lone_Ranger 2 2w ago
did you read Vermy's response???
He is telling you (and I agree 100%) that you should be doing whatever you like doing, and you let the chick know that she can tag along if she wants. This is the only way to be with chicks .If you like hot air ballooning, paintballing, motorcycleing etc - then this is what you are doing.
Never, ever ever ask a chick what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Never. Tell them what is happening, and that they can either come along, or go do something else.
Heres the thing - women dont want men that pander to them. They don't respect or desire such men.
In any case, asking a woman what she wants to do and then doing that is retarded, because women have no idea what they want.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
Bro. For REAL. Watch a movie. Cook. play an instrument. Paint. End up in conversation about stories of your life. Make a smoothie. Learn new cocktail recipes and have her try it. Show her funny YouTube videos. Go down a YouTube rabbit hole. Build a project and let her watch. OR leave the house.
Why does she need to be there for 10 hours straight just fucking?
Why is she at your house for 10 hours straight? Find something to do. If you're sick of her pussy after 20 rounds, again do what YOU want to do. If you can't send her home for the day. Even if that means sending her home so you can be alone
my original answer is unchanged You guys need to just lead. Why are you letting women lounge around past the time you need something else to do
What kind of magic answer are you looking for?
quassis2001 2w ago
I'm just looking for ideas, as I won't read/watch rp stuff with her. She's at mine when I want her too and I have no other things that I need to do at given day. Don't get me wrong - your answers are correct and I haven't thought of making new cocktail because we just drink whisky mostly. I've tried to research this topic on this forum but with no luck and I'm not that keen on reading about this stuff on reddit. I was just hoping someone would give me ideas or perhaps what they like to do with their girls.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
My point is you guys are completely missing the point. Expand your horizons and enrich your own lives with lot of different interests and hobbies.
Asking is missing the point entirely. You need to have shit to do. She's along to join it. If you're running out of ideas it's because you yourself don't have varied interests
Lives not loves*
quassis2001 2w ago
Yeah, actually I wanted to tell you that but I didn't want to change the topic too much. But I think it's the root problem of my original question - I don't really have shit to do. I mean I make music, but I don't enjoy it that much, I lift but I don't enjoy it that much, I read but I don't enjoy it that much. I was thinking about MMA, but couple of years ago I was doing it - I didn't really enjoyed it. The things I enjoy makes me happy temporarily and aren't really building me - watching shit on youtube or netflix, playing games (which I think I don't enjoy anymore...). Shit, might as well go to therapy at this point.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
Are you drinking a lot of alcohol or high or something? Why are you doing activities you don't enjoy? Do you have some kind of substance use or depression making you into enjoying this stuff? Why bother doing it
This is meaningless hedonism. Good for a time pass but not fulfilling long term
Sorry for being harsh earlier, sounds like you have some underlying problems you need to address. You shouldn't be this apathetic about your interests
Do you have male friends to do any of these activities with?
quassis2001 2w ago
I'm drinking occasionally when in social situations and I don't do drugs. Im doing these activities because lifting is actually very important for my health (I mostly WFH) and making music is sometimes fun but recently I just got bored of it.
I know it's hedonism, that's why I would want something in my life to be fulfilling but I just can't find it, I was in LTR some time ago and when I broke things with this other girl I thought gaming (spinning plates) would be something fun to do, but shit got boring really fast, thats why I think I want the emotional connection with girl.
As for male friends, not really, only one which we were kinda close but his got his life too so we don't have that much time anymore (his preparing for marriage and buying house etc... I know). Maybe you could tell me what you do thats actually fulfilling to you and you like doing for fun, so I could steal some of your ideas to try?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
This happens naturally. Let it be. But you need to emotionally connect with yourself first. If you don't enjoy anything you do you're not going to connect with anyone else. At least not genuinely and not long term.
It's not about what you do per se. You don't seem to be enjoying what you're allegedly into. I create. I like creating stuff and i like exploring the world and satisfying my curiosity about things.
But it's not just that. If you have shit or unresolved stress blocking your access to such emotions you're going to have a hard time feeling them.
You gotta take care of everything and do what really satisfies you.
quassis2001 2w ago
Thank you, I think this gave me insight that I wanted, I will just go to therapy and hope this will fix my apathy for things, as I don't even think im genuine with the connection I have with this girl and it's not just playing the right red pill cards.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
You're welcome. I'm glad this helped
Mental health is beyond the scope of red pill. It's related but it's different
If you don't have that in tact you are not going to have access to normal brain chemical reactions to anything. You could have your own dream skyscraper, mega yacht, hottest most loyal woman alive and still be miserable.
You gotta connect with yourself before you can connect with another person
derdeutscher 2w ago
At home usually its just fucking. Not much else will happen. She will let u know if she wants to do something else