Gonna be writing more field reports so you guys can hopefully help me fill in some cracks in my game.
Starting with New Years.
Pulled up to the bar relatively early but had to stand in line for drinks despite having a table. So immediately lost 30-1hr off the bat. The bars was filled with 5-6s being generous. So little amount of selection.
I start off by trying to talk to this shorter brunette and she coldly shuts me down doing the no over her throat gesture. Her friend laughs and tell me dont worry she just has a bf.
I cant remember exactly how it went down but I talked to a bunch of other groups short interactions. All clear boyfriends(Either came after from bar) on standoffish from the jump.
Finally talked to these two blonde girls, having a good convo nice kino. They agree to comeback to my table. After a while one of the girls I was talking to mentioned the countdown being soon and I wasn’t sure whether to acknowledge it and verbally push for the kiss or ignore so I kinda just fumbked and ignored it. The bar was so loud so between her not being able to hear me and me running out of things to say I guess she thought I was a pussy and left to the bathroom. My other friend though had also stopped talking to her friend before he’s a notoriously bad wingman so maybe that too.
New Years passes I see an old girl I used to hu so i briefly chat with her and keep her as my backup option.
Group of girls I talk to some of them and then proceed to introduce myself to the hottest one solid 8.5. Prob like 8 girls in the group. I had two wingman and they basically just stood there while I begged them to talk to her friends. One of them is a genetic freak too. Tall, jacked, etc yet is scared of girks. I invite back to our table she declines because they have other friends she cant leave and I go to order a drink.
A couple of other iois and slightly interesting conversations but nothing of fruit. One girl even stared me down and smiled while holding her boyfriends hand.
As a last ditch attempt I get a number from a girl about to leave. I’m going to try and post more detailed conversations later.
Things I noticed or I am thinking is that Im bad at preselecting girls. I am confused by iois and I have no idea if these girls are actually interested childhood insecurity probably.
Two I will almost always have at least a good convo if I approach well, and the girls is single.
Three im very inconsistent some nights I slay others I completely suck. I feel like sometimes I have trouble creating an interesting conversation despite being an interesting person or when theres a lull I don’t know what to do.
Probably the worst is I that I wear my emotions on my face, im very bad and disguising rhis and. Im not sure if girls are picking it up as disinterest or me being anxious.
I am not socially retarted but I am a huge overthinker.
Would appreciate any advice thanks.
Theolympicnomad 1mo ago
What I WILL say is this, if you really REALLY want to get good at game then practice daygame. Nightgame will never be a clear indicator of your attractiveness as a man. Talk to women during the day then report back your experience.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
Agree with your points, but daygame is a completely different thing that benefits some people more than others.
Daygame is about talking.
Nightgame is about looking good.
Neither is a pure judgement of you.
Theolympicnomad 1mo ago
That is true. At the same time day game benefits all men not just some. It’s a skill that can be worked on. And it’s not all about talking. You’re right about night game, its strictly what I call a “value delivery system” like tinder etc. There’s no skill involved is the difference between day and night game. Night game just requires you to be more assertive which is as close to “skill” it gets.
NeoSpartan 1mo ago
The overthinking is probably the biggest weakness.
Easy to say hard to do, I know, but worrying about shit is your biggest enemy. Have fun and try not to give a shit. Millions of fish in the sea bro. Women are a numbers game, nobody has a perfect batting rate.
Also, lulls in the convo are fine. Always never remember to forget.. hahaha... but yes. females are probably way more self conscious than any of us. This is very true. Also, you don't really even need to talk that much most of time. Almost all females love talking, so just focus on conversation starters and identifying their intesrests. Ask about their... uh... so what good movies have you seen lately or w/e. Don't really matter. Anything really. Hobbies, family, uhhh music w/e. Any random thing really. Girls love to talk. Just et them started is all you need really.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
Be classy....... introduce them along with a talking point.... "Friend, this is Jessica, she's from Italy and she likes to crochet in her space time...... Jessica this is friend, he's an amazing stockbroker and in his spare time he likes to do up cars".
IOI's are a maybe. They're not always "I want to fuck" and it doesn't always mean anything. But sometimes it does.
Good work on getting out there and talking to girls! This is 90% of the battle. The rest is tweaking.
Not sure if you do this, but here's a few points (you may already do these)
False time constraint
"Hey geys, I've only got a second before I have to go back to my friends, but who here wears a ring even though they're not married?"
As you say this, you are fully engaged with them, but then your body language is slightly turned away and you sort of rock back and forth as if you're about to leave.
This disarms their biggest fear: "how long is this guy who we don't know gonna be here???"
This also makes them try and keep you there while you keep trying to leave.
Eventually you can leave, and go back to them later.
It is devilishly effective.
Who are you guys here with?
This question is very normal and natural, but tells you a lot about their situation: night out, boyfriends, etc.
What are you guys doing later?
This will tell you a lot about your chances of fucking them tonight.
Phone numbers are kind of the end for most people..... unless you've made a solid connection, there's every chance she'll let the unknowns about you affect her judgment...... "he's probably got XXX wrong with him", and you can't get past that over text.
(I call them guys to annoy them, your mileage may differ)
Musicgoon78 2 1mo ago
I feel like overall you're doing great keep it up. You're getting into a bit of overthinkitis. This can happen and hold you back a bit. Usually this type of thing happens when you are too reliant on certain outcomes.
The abundance mindset is I'm going to have fun and talk to every single girl I like. Whatever happens happens. There's an endless supply of interactions and women.
Now I know you wrote about your wingmen. What they do or don't do isn't your problem. Their job is to make you look like you're not there alone. You still get your flirt on regardless if they are there with you, ordering a drink or taking a shit. Comprendé? A charismatic guy doesn't need a crutch. Remember you are trying to show these women leadership. Be the guy that steers the ship and does what he wants.
Several years ago I went out with one of my friends from the RP discord. We went into a bar and he immediately zeroed in on this girl. That's the sniper approach. If you get rejected, you look like a thirsty guy that's looking for pussy. It makes the next interaction with another girl look kinda bad.
I showed him a more practical approach: game the entire bar. You're the social guy that talks to everyone. You're friendly, you're touchy. You tell good stories and you command attention. You'll get to know who is single who is grumpy and you'll get instant social proof. Then talking to a girl you like isn't seen as loaded or thirsty, you're just doing what you do.
I want to say IOI's are probably one of the worst things to come from this community. They are a waste of time and mental energy. Within the first minute of a conversation, you're going to know if the girl is receptive to talking more. It will be obvious. IOI's are bottled autism.
At the ball drop you should've gone for the kiss. It's bold and dominant. It would've started the new year right and at the very least landed you a plate.
Always follow your whims when it comes to women. If I want to kiss a girl, I will. I do it before a second thought or hesitation creeps in. If it ever fails in the future I'll deal with that after I've gone for what I want.
Good job bro! Keep it up!