Since August, I’ve been experiencing head tension, heartache, lip biting or licking, racing thoughts, and overall decreased liveliness. Additionally, I feel disconnected from Christianity and religion, and I can’t even feel anything spiritually. I've also noticed that my mood has been less welcoming and positive at times. For example, while in a hotel rooftop hot tub, I was slightly rude or mean to others, which is completely out of the ordinary for me. Furthermore, from August to November, I was subconsciously and repeatedly asking myself, 'Am I dead or alive?'