I don't really know how to ask this or what to ask about specificaly but I need answers, also I'm typing without english correction so be kind. I follow red pill on and off for about 5 years and it really changed my world view 180 degrees, but I couldn't really find an answer for what I want, maybe because of asktrp ban.
I have a plate that ticks most of my boxes, but she broke at new years eve because she wanted exclusivity and I did not. I told her that, we said goodbay and it ended but not really because couple of days later she told me she is sorry and we can still be friends (we still fuck everytime she's at mine). But today we got tipsy and I told her what I told her before, that I will see other girls and I will fuck them but its just sex and she would be my number one emotionally or something like that. We talked about it before and she accepted but today I mentioned tindet etc and she got upset, didn't want to kiss but it was obviously shit test because IOI entire time (like toutching my dick lol) but her repulsivness made my mood go down and we didn't fuck. Instead we started talking about me and my relationship goals and I told her I would want somewhat open relationship where I could love one preson but fuck others and she said that this live view is disguisting and in 10 years I would be unhappy old single man. I don't know if we would see again because I don't know if it was good idea to be so broad about this but I wanted to ditch aloof strategy and be sincere with her. Is it lost cause? Should I not mention anything and just wait for her to know somehow that I fuck other chicks on side and then she breaks? Her friends saw me on tinder and she likes to count my condoms lol so it would be inevitable but what I really wanted was LTR with her when I'm not having sex with only her but also others. Is this even possible? If so, how much did I fucked up being honest with her? Sorry for long text, hard to really describe this.
Hugo_The_Great 19h ago
Dude... plates break. You're not the first one who's tried to string along multiple girls. It usually doesn't last (long). The idea that you can have multiple plates and sail smooth is a fallacy, you constantly need to keep the recruitment department going for when plates break. There will be drama no matter how good you try to navigate everything because women are emotional creatures, and it will take its toil on you unless you are cold to the bone. They will (subconsciously) start getting on your nerve so much (because they're looking for a definitive yes/no) that you will say/do something mean and then the plate will break.
Although women crave alpha dick, they also like emotional intimacy & most eventually want a family/committed partner. They will leave you for a variety of reasons and quite a few will come back for a variety of reasons. Everything depends on both how high your SMV is, how good your game is and her personal circumstances. If you decide to play the game, understand the costs involved. It's not all upside, just like how for women, riding the carousel is not only upside.
Another word of advice, if you go down the lying rabbit hole, you will eventually create such a web of lies that you don't even enjoy your own life anymore, you end up running around keeping the lie going. Miserable.
derdeutscher 18h ago
I was in identical situation, told her I can accept relationship but I want my freedom. She was really not happy, but accepted it. It goes on like that for few months already.
However this is not my first time having this, so let me tell you how you can go about this and what to expect.
First, you can not run two relationships at the same time. It is just not going to work. Realistic expectation is to have your relationship, and occasionally bang some zero-effort chick on the side. Everything else will not work.
Second and more important, you have to keep this discreet and never talk or mention about it. Whatever happens, whenever happens, you do not give even any hints about it. It must be one of these "it exists, but it does not exist" things. If you are really mentioning tinder in frint of your relationship girl, I am not sure if you are ready to handle this.
Also, and we have all been there, if you say you are in a relationship you have to act like you are in one (even when banging chicks on the side). If you just continue acting aloof like in a casual phase, it is going to go down, because no women will tolerate it, regardless how big of alpha thunder chad you are.
As a bonus advice, even if you have your freedom, she can not have hers. To put it directly, it is not the same to fuck and be fucked.
This can be pulled off, with a right girl and in a right way.
MrSupreme 2d ago
You did start to set the frame and boundaries with the chat about not being exclusive. That part is fine and needed, if she wants to go or stay it is up to her but you're building and living a lifestyle and the women that want to take it further with you will have to understand that.
Her coming back is a great indicator,she probably went with the whole "catch the unavailable man" thing girls do, that is where you have to hold your frame,fuck her,treat her nice and then carry on your way.
However, mentioning over and over again you're not available is not needed,unless she talks about it.Let her bring it up, say what she has to say about it and let her know youre not ready to change and that it is a lifestyle choice she must respect.
She is testing your frame and your will, and you're getting soft.Take her on a short fun date, give her great sex and leave,and for fucks sake lead the conversation towards other subjects.
There are ways to making her feel like she is your #1 girl without having a talk about goals and the future, just deliver what you're selling and give her a great time. Have fun.
quassis2001 1d ago
You are right about me becoming soft, I noticed that too. She just keeps making this weird talk event when I want to kiss her she tells me "oh so now you are giving me aids from these sluts saliva" etc and when I want to fuck her the defences are up which is annoying and mood killer so I don't know, maybe the plate already broke. Next time I will just say it once and leave it at that or if she ever comes back I will try to deflect to other topics.
WokeDown 1d ago
Anything is possible. I’ve had dedicated women while they knew I was fucking on the side. There is no universal rule here. But they had other expectations, namely time and money support.
Whether she’s up for it is another matter. You might be able to negotiate your own exclusivity off or might not, based on what she wants. If you lie, expect big snooping and drama down the line.