Been seeing this chick lately, she's in my view a smokeshow and I regard her as a quality family oriented woman - She's given me plenty of evidence of this.
I've slept with over 14 women last year and she was the only one to ask genuine questions about myself and my background that indicate to me that she sees me as more than just a dick to ride, which is the vibe I had from a lot of the other women.
We've been on four dates, first was insta-date for 1 hour, second was a meal and third was another meal and f-close. 4th was also a meal at my place and f. She cooked all meals and a damn fine cook she is (french background). She also cleaned my place out on the second date.
We have insane chemistry together.
Personally I'm done fucking around, and I don't mind - and i stress - eventually girlfriendling her up. Last time we met was Sunday, yesterday she was keen for us to meet and I couldn't. I've told her I'll meet her later today which she will.
She then voice mailed me that she'd prefer our dates to be more "proper dates" because i hinted I didn't have enough time. "but if you prefer to keep things casual and see other people let me know"
So this really is what is, she wants to lock me down straight away and negotiate exclusivity. I don't like the implied suggestion that she'll go see other people though.
My instinct is to shoot this straight down and I'm formulating the right words in my mind because she'll no doubt bring it up this evening.
Something like: "Let's keep things progressing naturally" or something like that. Comments and suggestions are welcome.
Hugo_The_Great 2d ago
This was me 6 months ago.
Very good girl, great qualities etc. So I eventually, gradually, stopped seeing the other 3 girls I was seeing also.
Where I fucked up is that I was seeing this girl 1-2 times per week max for the first ~5 months. Other girls similar amounts, depending on who was on their best behavior/my favorite. What I miscalculated is that I'm quite demanding in terms of how much time I want to spend with women in my free time. I like hanging out and fucking, preferably 4-5 nights a week. There are a decent amount of women who can/will facilitate this.
This girl, however, because of a demanding work/study schedule and busy social life, isn't able to facilitate this for me. 3 nights maximum. I like her very much, and this wasn't a problem at first because I was hanging out with the other girls when she was busy.
In other words, make sure that she understands that she has to pick up the pace if she wants the other women gone.
mattyanon Admin 3d ago
Yeah, fuck that
Yep.
Start subtle.
But don't budge.
Musicgoon78 2 3d ago
I totally agree with this. Think of this as a roundabout shit test. If you cave this early she will lose respect and the tingles for you. Keep dismissing her requests. The key is to keep having fun and not let any of this bullshit fase you.
redhawkes 2 5d ago
That's called girl game. I've seen this shit too many times, especially if she has something to gain from you (documents, green card etc). Don't let her control the frame, four dates is joke to even plate let alone something serious.
Just say something like "I'm open to everything with the right person" and change subject. You started with bf game, hence the pulling back and wanting more "proper dates" whatever the fuck that means.
Tone down the beta/bf game and keep doing what works. Vet her for 5 months and see where it goes. Usually, the masks fall in the first couple of months. Expect her to make you jealous mentioning other guys on purpose to get you into scarcity.
Lone_Ranger 2 5d ago
" Expect her to make you jealous mentioning other guys on purpose to get you into scarcity."
Never met a chick that doesn't do this. Never. Not once.
Hugo_The_Great 2d ago
Which is funny because it's disgusting and, speaking for myself, results in the opposite of what they're looking for.
If a girl wants to transition to LTR she better not have been juggling other guys at the same time. Just decided to go for you because the other guy(s) didn't meet some requirement/didn't want to commit/she decided you were slightly better etc.
Lone_Ranger 2 5d ago
answer the question with a question.
What do you mean by proper dates?
Her answer will reveal what is going on. If she is pushing for exclusivity, that is fine, in fact its more than fine. Doesn't mean you have to give it to her. But its fine if her thoughts turn to exclusivity straight away (girls going to girl).
BUT.... if she is hinting that by 'proper dates' she means that she is not happy with coming over to yours to cook and fuck, that instead she wants to cos play as a virgin in the 1950s with you bringing her to restaurants and paying for it all, then I would slap that down as hard as you can.
If she is actually angling for you bringing her to restaurants and paying for all that shit tell her that you only do that for virgins.
filtereduuu 5d ago
There is nothing to reveal, it's quite clear she's negotiating for exclusivity.
I said I only had time to cover over, fuck her and leave pretty much, and she wanted me to stay around to cook for me. There is no suggestions of restaurants or whatever fuck that - that's never a frame I allow and from the get go I told her I need to see her cooking.
derdeutscher 5d ago
Well what is it that YOU want?
Want to keep it casual? Do it. But she will eventually go away, as plates do sometimes.
Want to try a relationship? Do it, but make her work for it and she should be the one pushing for it.
Want to try a relationship but have permission to fuck around, while she does not have it? Women will do this for you if she REALLY loves you and sees you as ultimate alpha in her eyes. Nothing personal, but I would not push it if I was you.
By the way I do not know what she meant with "proper dates" but dont start any beta shit now. You seems to be on a right track with this chick.