First part https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/323766/fr_potential_aw_put_her_asd_due_to_me_wanting_to_take_a_dum
I'll try to keep this one short. After coming back home she suggested that she will come to mine to sleepover. Yesterday we met, we were hugging talking kissing etc. Then I went to shower, she went after me. It was getting late so we were lying in bed, I started to kiss her, she was visibly enjoying it, I went down to her neck, she started moaning. We were lying side to side, so I put her on top of me, we kissed and I ordered her to remove the shirt. She did it and said "thanks, it's hot here". I went to unzip her bra and she said in laughing voice "uh uh" like a no. I thought she tries to dominate or something so went again, more firmly and she said "no, what are doing?". This kind of behaviour is ofputting to me because I would rather have fuck yes than to drag myself through the battlefield of shittests. She then leans back to my face smiling and says something like "are you feeling mogged?". At this point I lost all interest as my immersion was killed. She lays on top of me and I didn't really wanted to break through her jokes or asd I don't really know because honestly shits retarded at this point. I threw her of me and it was clear that there is not going to be any sex, in my mind I wanted her to leave but her bus was in 5h. I don't really remember how, but we started talking, she said she didn't want to have sex on 3rd date because sex for her is something most valuable she can give, she didn't want to get hurt because she saw condoms next to bed (they were hidden but somehow she found them) and when she was showering she saw shower gels that were used by obviously some woman. She said she didn't want to be my next bitch for fucking, that she feels so safe with me it's special and she was afraid that after sex I would stop being interested in her. I forgot most of the conversation but when we were lying trying to sleep she was so concerned she said she feels sick, she might cried at some point even. Before she was leaving she asked me if I still like her, and when she was leaving she asked if I could come to her this weekend. I said I will think about it as I want to sleep right now, she said "that explains everything". As we were standing close to doors we hugged and kissed and she left.
What the fuck is this situation? When we talked after second attempt I was just not giving s fuck about her but wanted more informations out of her to improve my future lays and I know she had boyfriends and one fwb, but none ons, and she told me they all were dating long time before having sex.
And also she seemed like she wanted to give me bj after hour of talking of the situation but I don't like pity sex so told her that my stomach aches (which was true but if not for the situation I would propably go for it).
Edit: she sent me some text, I google translated it so if you are curious you can check it out but sometimes it loses context https://imgur.com/a/n8RdrYE
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 9h ago
1) more foreplay and more patience before storming straight to intercourse. You have to warm most women up a bit.
2)
She's turned you down on two separate occasions. Next.
Relevant: Wait for it? by Rollo Tomassi.
Musicgoon78 2 7h ago
Shit test failed! Massively failed! You noticed how she smiled when she told you no? That was a sign that she wasn't serious. She wanted you to push back. Instead, you got incredibly butthurt and gave up instantly.
Your big problem is your frame. You come across as extremely weak and cowardly. How are you going to protect a chick when you can't even stand up to her tiny shit test?
You've got to stay consistent. This girl has given you ample opportunities to show her a strong confident side and you've failed at it
I'm sorry my guy, but you're not just going to be handed pussy. If you give up instantly with some small playful resistance, you're going to be single for the rest of your life.
Now let's talk about your "Battlefield of shittests". You mean one? One small one. Something anyone else would have shrugged off...
This girl bent over backwards for you. For some reason, she finds you valuable despite your submissive and cowardly ways.
She did nothing wrong or weird. She didn't fuck with you. You created this problem and kept it going. This is 100 percent your problem that you made.
Start over with another girl and stop being such an entitled princess. It's appalling.
redhawkes 2 2h ago
Say it louder for the retards in the back.
mattyanon Admin 4h ago
Yeah, agreed. 3rd date, laying in bed together, is NOT the time to pull out all that ASD shit.
Men have suffered through millenia of "make him wait while I fuck someone else". We're done with that shit - we have other options.
"Most valuable thing she can give" is what women say when they are selling themselves in exchange for financial resources.
Sadly "I don't want to get hurt" is female code for "I am not attracted enough to fuck you, I want this to be 100% derisked for me, I want to feel secure and I want you to provide all this for me". And any man who tries this finds out ....... it still isn't enough and she'll go right ahead and fuck someone else.
This is fucked up. You don't need this shit.
This is a woman PLAYING FOR COMMITMENT, and sadly when she gets it she will no longer value you or desire you.
All these rules and all this bullshit applies to you, it does not apply to another man who she was fucking, is fucking or will be fucking in the near future.
This is BETA BAIT.
Dude, you're young and this shit is probably new to you. I've been on the receiving end of all this emotional shit too. There is zero point wading through it all, you'll never come out the other side. It never ends.
At some point you gotta make it real simple in your own head....... "fuck me or fuck off". You don't have to articulate it in those words, but this needs to be your internal play book. You don't want to start to engage in all this shit....... because it is never ending.
Always ask yourself "does this girl want to fuck me or not". All that emotiono-drama, in your head, is simply "does not want to fuck me".
She is selling herself with sex in exchange for resources...... she has fucked this up in the past, but that isn't stopping her trying to resell her used virginity to you.
Time to move on dude....... time to move on. Next time move on a lot, lot faster and leave this trainwreck to someone else.
MrSupreme 3h ago
She had some more last minute resistance, rip off her bra, choke her,pull her hair,show her you are in charge and her games are over.Then tell her shes gonna have to go home without a bra.
You gotta understand that not all shit tests will be of a comfortable kind that you can pass with wits,humor and a cocky attitude.Some will be when you're expecting her to open her legs and give you access to her wethole,right when you think you're gonna score and your dick is hard.In this case she was completely in charge of the whole thing(physically), and she was most likely expecting you to channel your frustrations into some rough games.
Sure she may want to see you again after that but your frame is gonna be shit.
First-light 2h ago
That is a lot of text. You don't write all that text without being invested in someone to some extent. You also do not visit someone and take some of your clothes off in front of them unless you are serious about wanting something with them. But bear in mind she also talks of therapy. This is someone quite delicate who may not be secure in themself. She wants you but she is tired of getting feelings for guys who want a plate. You two don't sound like you have similar goals.
You can feign interest and if you feign interest enough, you will get sex -she has a record of putting out and getting hurt. This is what she is trying to tell you. She will probably make the same mistake again if encouraged and coaxed along. Sex will also come with quite a lot of emotional baggage if its only as a plate.
It sounds like you are not interested in the relationship she is looking for so it is unlikely to be a stress free experience even if you do bang her.