I’m trying to truly understand how to accept that I, with my first ex-girlfriend will have to move on.

Now a little info, to keep concise. we dated for 4 months, I lost my V to this girl, And shortly after had to move states, involuntarily.

Around that time I was definitely reading up on game, self- improvement, etc, it’s been some years since, and a year or two ago I peaked in life and contacted her when I had the money to make a move, but lost everything I had financially and mentally (not to be sad about that, just fyi).

Now I started from the ground up, with balance this time. but I guess I simply can’t accept the fact that I have to be a man and let go. We didn’t necessarily end on bad terms, being around her felt as part of my mind that put me in homeostasis but the anxiety about her still lingers. as of now, I’d shoot her a message once and a blue moon but not text 24/7, just on the side while getting back on improving, etc. And from what I ‘perceive’ she doesn’t necessarily seem indifferent, I said last week we would ft, and she was down.

Now the main part is, coming into terms that I can’t resume that relationship with her since I’m in a different state. It would be pointless and I can’t make her hold on.

If that’s not the case, would it be wrong to chat otp with her as in for closure to end things positive, and change my perspective on breaking up, and btw I broke up with her but we didn’t have that talk after, kind of a cliffhanger, she knew I had to move.

TL;DR Tell me I’m a B*tch or something so I can move on, logically I want to but my emotions are acting like a simp. Last week I encountered a HB9.5 and didn’t do shit, wtf is wrong with my brain? Is it pheromones or what?