I’m trying to truly understand how to accept that I, with my first ex-girlfriend will have to move on.
Now a little info, to keep concise. we dated for 4 months, I lost my V to this girl, And shortly after had to move states, involuntarily.
Around that time I was definitely reading up on game, self- improvement, etc, it’s been some years since, and a year or two ago I peaked in life and contacted her when I had the money to make a move, but lost everything I had financially and mentally (not to be sad about that, just fyi).
Now I started from the ground up, with balance this time. but I guess I simply can’t accept the fact that I have to be a man and let go. We didn’t necessarily end on bad terms, being around her felt as part of my mind that put me in homeostasis but the anxiety about her still lingers. as of now, I’d shoot her a message once and a blue moon but not text 24/7, just on the side while getting back on improving, etc. And from what I ‘perceive’ she doesn’t necessarily seem indifferent, I said last week we would ft, and she was down.
Now the main part is, coming into terms that I can’t resume that relationship with her since I’m in a different state. It would be pointless and I can’t make her hold on.
If that’s not the case, would it be wrong to chat otp with her as in for closure to end things positive, and change my perspective on breaking up, and btw I broke up with her but we didn’t have that talk after, kind of a cliffhanger, she knew I had to move.
TL;DR Tell me I’m a B*tch or something so I can move on, logically I want to but my emotions are acting like a simp. Last week I encountered a HB9.5 and didn’t do shit, wtf is wrong with my brain? Is it pheromones or what?
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
"closure" is for women.
She isn't going to say anything to make you feel better, and a good chance she'll be telling you some things you don't wanna hear.
oneitis is caused by lack of other options and lack of a solid connection with anyone else.
date girls, accept them for what they are, and stop comparing them all to your ex.
Musicgoon78 2 1mo ago
The problem is you're not used to this shit yet. It's a rite of passage bro. Don't let everyone give you a load of bullshit. The first few breakups are going to hurt. When you get more abundance they won't be as bad. It natural to catch feelings and it's fine to be sad. Just don't stay that way.
I say allow yourself an allotted about of time to miss and feel sad about your loss. Let's say 15 minutes. Feel all your feelings, cry if you have to, then move on.
Time will make you feel better and so will fucking other women.
You've got this bro. This is all normal. Ride out the bad feelings you have a future with lots of potential and fun adventures with slutty women! Remember to have fun.
Anon2002 1mo ago
Can’t even lie, part of this was when I was younger so about 7 or so years ago, when I went to have my O-lady drive me to see her, we almost got into a car accident with my friend in the car, which was a two hour drive and $50 worth of gas and while I was their with her I knew I had to lay pipe— finish the mission. but it was in a mall bro…smh now I feel guilty, and I’m currently working to move on from the pass so I can move on to better things man.
What boggles me is she doesn’t know about it but yet then again she said she hardly remembers “anything”—indirectly said about our relationship. So in my mind I’m doing this for myself so I can subconsciously move on, and get the notion she has also indefinitely. or maybe probably talk to my O-lady and let her know instead, because I forced her to let me see this girl, and almost got us killed.. and haven’t took responsibility for it. I have some bad juju still in me, but I did talk to my friend, now close brother and he got the gifs of shit. So yea as of now texting her was coo but now she’s loosing interest, which I don’t care, necessarily. But it’s just the process of switching the left over memories of this girl from years ago to something else more realistic and getting the juju outta my mind g. I don’t want to regret not getting this off my chest, it would be a different store if we fuckt on different circumstances with a more positive attribute leading into that situation.
Musicgoon78 2 1mo ago
Bro..... What??
I understood all of jack shit in your last message.
MrSupreme 1mo ago
I got my first gf and married her,lasted 8 years with her, divorced and let her go so easy like it was made to be,never missed her. After all those years I got my second gf and lasted about 3-4 months, the sex was amazing,she was submissive and loving.It was hard to let go, I reached out after a week or so and met up,she said she felt like the first time she met me. I was about to move countries so it never happened again.
But mentally it was hard to let go,i spent a few months thinking about the whole thing, she set the bar high for what I should look for starting out with other chicks.
What made all that nonsense finally go away is meeting women,going out with them.See what they have to offer and you'll find there is power in abundance mentality, just the power you need right now,internalize abundance properly with experience and you'll find a ticket out of oneitis.
Another part of abundance is VARIETY.We men are hardwired to love variety,that is why watching porn means having dozens of tabs with different types of girls and all kinds of kinks. It is easy to watch porn but once you appreciate the variety and abundance when spinning 2 or more plates you'll be having an easier time not falling for that one girl.
EDIT: so yeah, meet some girls,keep them around,more than 1 if possible
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Fuck 10 other women
Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
No, you're not a bitch. you sound like a decent chap, trying to process your emotions and trying to get on in life.
We all go through this. None of us un-scarred. Just focus on yourself, on doing things that are best for you.
May I ask what age you are?
Anon2002 1mo ago
Username
Kloi 1mo ago
Men love unconditionally. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still care, hold a special place in my heart for any of my LTRs. Even the ones that pulled some next level bull shit.
It's not that I'm still in love with them, it's the simple fact we spent so much time together, that'd I'd love to hear that they're doing good.
I know I'm truly over them when I stop taking pleasure in their suffering, despite how awful things ended.
Now back to you. By the sounds of it your relationship only ended because of logistics. Of course you're going to long for her.
Things I do to help the process of getting over them:
Write a letter expressing how you feel, never send it.
Similar, journal.
I'll go hit some intense cardio to quiet the mind.
Active mediation, where you just feel/think through your situation.
Find another girl.
adam-l Moderator 1mo ago
Man, help me process those two lines, or I'll fry my mind.
Kloi 1mo ago
Most of my break ups get toxic on their end. Example:
My recent ex of two years agreed to try and work things out after I moved out. She kept setting up date nights for the next three weeks while fucking a few other people and eventually moving my buddy of 10 years into the house within two weeks of me moving out.
Initially I was pissed, then disgusted with myself for giving a woman with such low standards, too many chances.
At first I enjoyed hearing this move done to intentionally hurt me, blow up in her face but at this point it no longer brings me joy to hear how hard she's spiraling out of control.
Pitty is too strong of a word to describe how I feel towards her but I do wish for her to be doing better than her current state of affairs.
RedDot0Hot 1mo ago
Thats sucks.
It has escalated rather quickly from the time I have seen your plans' post.
Kloi 1mo ago
This is my ex girlfriend, not my current that started in November fyi.
adam-l Moderator 1mo ago
Damn, man. Ok it makes sense now. Sorry to hear this went this way. Sucks. That's the girl you had some long term ideas about?
Kloi 1mo ago
Don't be. It went that way because of my actions and how I handled the situation. I learned a few lessons and dodged a nuclear warhead.
Not seriously. was still in player mode the first year and a half of dating. It was my buddies little sister and I gave her so many chances because of who her family was.
In reality I should have gotten rid of her after six months. She kept talking goofy about kids, marriage while not bringing anything to the table.
Though she did spark the desires in me for a longer lasting relationship but it was never going to be her. Lost a good bit of myself caring for someone who didn't care for themselves but I got it back and then some.
The last six months I realized I'm ready to settle down
adam-l Moderator 1mo ago
Settle down for good? Or realized that you want to cover your love needs, as opposed to your sexual ones?
Kloi 1mo ago
Good question, honestly don't have an answer.
The idea of locking myself down to one woman for the rest of my life sounds miserable but I've had my fill of frivolous fucking.
Even the past few years I've been riding out the honey moon phase, then jumping into a new relationship.
I enjoy quality companionship more than sex at this point in my life. Good sex almost always come with that in my experience.
adam-l Moderator 1mo ago
"Stay hungry, feel the fire"