where are some appropriate places to approach women? im guessing bars and clubs are the go to places? What is the proper way to approach and ask out women?
my looks are not horrible and I can easily talk to random people
where are some appropriate places to approach women? im guessing bars and clubs are the go to places? What is the proper way to approach and ask out women?
my looks are not horrible and I can easily talk to random people
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mattyanon Admin 1w ago
clubs are awful
bars are ok if they work for you. if not then don't
daytime: find girls walking around town, shoppping, etc
work sucks
online: do it if it works for you
social: meet girls through your social life.
Them's your options, but one tip for you: forget "appropriate". You are limiting yourself.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Did you read the sidebar and did you attempt search for the answer in the searchbar already?
failureneedhelp345 1w ago
I searched but didn't find anything that directly talks about how/when to approach.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
There is no way you actually looked that hard
https://www.forums.red/i/All/?showall=1&search=How+to+approach+
https://www.forums.red/i/All/?showall=1&search=Where+to+approach+women+
failureneedhelp345 1w ago
aren't those just posts made by other users? how can we be sure there's validity behind their statements?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Well we flaired users now but use critical thinking skills man
If there comments saying "yes this works" there you go
Musicgoon78 2 1w ago
What articles have helped you on the sidebar and what have you tried so far?
Also, Please change your username to show us you're serious about your success.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
OP @failureneedhelp345, this is the second time that I've seen someone tell you this.
I'll be the third right now. Fucking ditch that loser-mentality, misery-perpetuating username. Stop your negative self-talk, and that includes your current username.
failureneedhelp345 1w ago
michael's story and confessions of a reformed incel. I take my fitness really seriously. Pretty obsessed with it actually. 5'9.5" and 170-171, about 13% bf (confirmed by Bod Pod analysis). Not big by any means but I look better than the average joe
Musicgoon78 2 1w ago
Ok these are motivation. Now you need to use some tools. Keep reading the sidebar. You use the right tools for the right job.
Start talking to women. Listen to people stories. That's an easy and valuable way to start.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
I'm going to echo what the Thug of Tunes said about those two articles being for motivation, and your need to read further to get the tools and the mental models.
I'm also going to add to it by letting you in on a little secret:
When a man is first unplugging and reads Michael's Story, he'll usually identify with Michael. I was similar to him when I was a high school and college student: disgusted that I was saving myself a for a virgin bride when no such thing existed. Unlike him, I woke up and started having fun.
When a man has been unplugged and working on himself for a while (usually a year or two), if he goes back and rereads Michael's Story, he'll laugh at what a retard Michael is for being the cause of his own misery.
Maturin_nj 5d ago
Yeah. Michael is a Victorian gentleman basically in our shit show. It's a compelling story though when stumbled upon. I think i read it on dalrock. There's a good chance it's fictional.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 4d ago
Yeah, the origin was the comments section of one of Dalrock's blog posts. That's also where I first saw it.
A) what makes you say that? Just that everything on the internet is fake?
B) even if it is, so what?
Maturin_nj 4d ago
It might be based on michaels experience but is probably highly embellished. Or it could be entirely made up based on how the writer perceived what other guys were writing. Women are discreet even in college. The brothel in the dorm is unlikely. The finale where he decides to confront a room full of promiscuous blonde babes was off since mike being an outsider up to that point. And lastly, the lesson that girls marry guys like Michael. The one girl spitting out that phrase was the dramatic climax to the tale. It's too extreme imo.
It's a terrific story, with shock value. It conveys bona fide truths that have confounded the BP guy for decades. It's more of a parable. It makes its point.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 4d ago
I just went back and reread it for the first time in years. It's longer than I remember! For those following along, the link at the TRP sub is broken (Dalrock took his blog private a while back), but the archived link at the WAATGM sub still works. Tag @Vermillion-Rx.
I'm exactly his age. That was originally posted in 2012, and he was 32 at the time. Same as me.
I went to a large SEC university at the same time he went to his university, likely on the opposite end of the country based on his mentioning of living in LA.
my experience and accompanying disgust with how the college chicks behaved was very similar to his. I don't know what he meant about them "flicking their fingers at" him, but much else of what he wrote was similar to what I went through at the same time, right down to the conversations and being labeled "husband material" (which I've written about before at WAATGM, but can't find at the moment)
Unlike Michael, Iwas never perceived as "weak" (athlete and avid lifter), and I received plenty of interest, but was too dense to notice. Also unlike Michael, I got over my hangups and started fucking.
I then fucked that up by getting married. To a divorcee. Who was older than me.
I have no real, substantial reason to doubt that his story is real, except for "everything on the internet is fake". In other words, I wouldn't be shocked if it turned out not to be real, but it jives with everything I've ever seen and so I have no reason to doubt it.
HHAHAAHA no. Well, maybe they are now, but when I attended between 1998 and 2003, they were quite open about their promiscuity.
I saw nothing about an actual brothel.
A) They weren't all blonde.
B) He was friends with and had tried to date the one who gave the zinger about ice cream and sprinkles.
I had similar said to me.
Very true.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
1)
READ THE SIDEBAR
2) Anywhere and everywhere.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1w ago
The fact you’re asking this question tells me you have zero experience with women and may be wildly overestimating your levels of attractiveness.
2a. Trynna fuck? 2b. 2a was a joke. It literally doesn’t matter what u say; you cannot negotiate attraction. So first be fucking attractive put in all the work that goes with achieving that and then just approach smile and just strike a convo. My time tested line: “hey you’re hot as fuck let’s do shots” but as I said… if you’re attractive (TO HER) it literally doesn’t matter what you say.
failureneedhelp345 1w ago
you're absolutely right. aside from fucking a couple of hookers I have absolutely zero experience with women. I've never even gone on a date before and im 30 years old.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1w ago
yikes but I mean it is what it is - everyone’s got a starting point.
start looking at your life - your physique, your hairstyle, your wardrobe, your social circle, your status in society, etc - and ask yourself why women don’t find you attractive.
Work on the areas that need improvement and then start practicing. Don’t excpect to start out as Don Juan when you’ve spent your entire life being a scrub.
failureneedhelp345 1w ago
fucking hookers is that bad? I'm in decent shape, definitely better than average schmo walking around. I would say top 20% physique for sure.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1w ago
I’ve fucked a couple hookers. I’m about to be in Mexico for spring break and I’ll definitely be buying at least one or two. Nothing materially wrong with them.
It is bad when that is the only way you can get a girl to want to fuck you. I get horny like 10 times a day. Are you planning on dropping $400+ every time you wanna get your rocks off? That’s ridiculous.
Top 20% physique lol so you’re not morbidly obese; cool. Decent starting point but if your physique is as good as you think it is; you’d be getting a lot more attention from women. Not getting attention from women = mid physique. Only banging hookers your whole life = socially awkward. Both are panty dryers - do better.
failureneedhelp345 1w ago
I don't think is a good physique but im definitely leagues better than the average guy. I definitely need to work on myself a lot. Im pretty old (30) so I think building impressive amounts of muscle at this age is going to be an extremely uphill battle.
How am I supposed to start from scratch at this age?
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 4d ago
1) 30 isn't old.
2) it will be more difficult than if you had started lifting as a teenager. At least you're starting now, instead of in your 40s or 50s or 60s.
3) you don't have to "build impressive amounts of muscle". You don't have to be huge, jacked, shredded, cut, whatever. You just can't be soft. Lifting is to build discipline, boost testosterone, build confidence, and get rid of softness. Anyone telling you that you have to be huge like 1975 Arnold or that you have to have a 6-pack is full of shit.
Musicgoon78 2 1w ago
I'm going to call you out at this point. I'm going to recommend that everyone stop responding to your questions until you show us that you're serious and change your username. Step one is to show intent. I want to see that you're serious before spending anymore time on you.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Post locking is coming soon
failureneedhelp345 1w ago
the website is not letting me change my username. I sincerely want to improve my life and have been working out like a madman to do so. You want to block someone who needs some serious dating help?
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
You create a new one and abandon this one.
Musicgoon78 2 1w ago
I didn't say anything about blocking. I'm stating my boundary and a requirement. This is a very small sacrifice that will show this community that you're not going to rudely waste our time.
failureneedhelp345 1w ago
im pretty serious. I just don't know where and how to start. Also, kind of feeling some type of way that I completely wasted my life so far. I missed out on so much, biggest thing being gym gains. It's pretty easy to build muscles in your late teens to 20s. Im 30 now so it feels like progress in the gym is slow as hell
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
30 is nothing, stop bitching about that
Musicgoon78 2 1w ago
Change your username. This is the last time I'm saying anything to you.
failureneedhelp345 5d ago
You told me to go out and talk to women. I did. I got a FR for you and its sad as fuck.
FR 1: Was buying some clothes and the cashier ringing me up was young, slim white female so probably a 6-7 (a walk in the park for you guys). She asked for my name and email so that I could sign up for the rewards program. I gave her the information and while I did my voice faltered and became extremely shaky. She read back the information she recorded and it wasn't even correct. I was so nervous I didn't even try correcting her, I just wanted to pay and get out.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 4d ago
1) That's a professional interaction with a worker doing her job. That doesn't count as opening on a woman, especially when you didn't even try to do anything other than answer her questions.
2) you need to work on your ability to talk to people. All people, not just women who pass the boner test. No one here can give you a magic formula for this; you just have to power through your discomfort until it's gone. Learn what's helpful and what's harmful through trial and error, along with basic conversational skills guides that are out there. The overcoming discomfort is all on you. No one can do it for you.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
Congratulations, approaching random women doesn't always result in something, especially if they're being paid to work and just want to go home
What were you expecting? There is almost no amount of information we can give you to improve in an extremely low success situation when you already don't know what you're doing at all
Go meet women in a place that are expecting to get hit on
Musicgoon78 2 5d ago
Change your username.
failureneedhelp345 5d ago
I gave you a FR. Can you give me some tips on how to improve?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
Your fr was near useless. As people are pointing out you approached an employee. What are you expecting dude?
Seriously. There is no value in that situation
Musicgoon78 2 5d ago
I've had a change of heart. You have some nerve to come on here and ask for help and give absolutely nothing in return. I asked you to change your username. You didn't and then you gave me a blurb about nothing. That wasn't a field report. You didn't try or put in any effort. You didn't have a conversation. You didn't even initiate the interaction. If a girl asks me "do you want fries with that", my answer doesn't count as talking to a woman.
Congratulations, you're the first guy in the manosphere that Musicgoon has completely given up on.
This lack of success is 100 percent your fault and your choice.
As a last bit of advice, you need to seek out a therapist. Your victim mentality is keeping you being a loser.
This kind of inaction and disregard for the time and effort we put on here is completely insulting.
Have a lonely life! ✌️
failureneedhelp345 4d ago
I did initiate a conversation. I could have gone to a different cashier but I went to her instead
Musicgoon78 2 5d ago
Change your username. I gave you my boundary.
No-Stress-Cat 1w ago
What are you talking about? You don't approach women.
Best case scenario she calls you a creep and splashes a drink in your face.
Worst case scenario you end up spending the night in jail for sexual assault.
You let women approach you.
If women aren't approaching you, you need to work on yourself and stop worrying about women.