I went through the opposite. Was highly promiscuous and sort of accepted a couple of open relationships in the past, which I did not take very seriously. I was in for the sex and little else. Without a strong emotional commitment I could avoid any emotional distress, though I always longed for a monogamous relationship. But the real issue is health. You WILL get sick a lot, not just from STDs, but also by random stuff like colds, balanitis due to PH imbalance, yeast infections and all that shit that condoms don't prevent. You'd be surprised at how common crabs are too and those really suck. It's exhausting and it causes a negative spiral where you become hypochondriac, your training goes to shit, you're always anxious and your career suffers. I can't even imagine how that would be if kids were involved (which is a whole other can of worms). Every open couple I know have frequent trips to the doctor and often take antibiotics. My own health suffered in my promiscuous days and the difference is day and night now that I pursue monogamous relationships. Take care.

I really don't agree with this idea that monogomy is not natural. It is perfectly possible in theory. There is no reason why two people can't be happy just fucking each other in an LTR.

I honestly believe that monogamy is much more compatible with men than with women. Most men seem ok with monogamy than women. If I am with a woman in an LTR, and there is plenty of love and affection, then my partner can be more attractive than any other women. It's all perfectly rational - sex with a woman that you actually love is going to better than the physical sensation of fucking some slut that you dont care about.

The issue is almost always with the female -they get bored very quickly, and they lose respect for men that only fuck them. A man that just fucks his wife is a loser in the eyes of his wife - a 'semi' incel.

I finally snapped when the girl I was dating told me that we are not having much sex any more before I am "not the new toy".

She finally opened my eyes to the fact that women are just not suitable for monogamy. If they wanted monogamy then they would reward monogamy. Instead the punish monogamy by withholding sex and losing interest.

but once in a relationship (currently almost 2.5 years), I start thinking about being single again. I’m unsure if this feeling will ever go away. I see mixed opinions—some say they prefer a committed relationship over spinning plates, while others insist they are strictly non-monogamous.

Wanting to fuck other women is 100% natural, for men especially.

What you do with this information is up to you.

@Vermillion-Rx

I guess that men are all quite different. Some men don't want a monogomous life, some men really enjoy just having one woman.

I prefer having just one woman that I am really bonded to. This is probably the cause of most of my problems in my life - because no woman seems to want that. The women I have known SAY they want that, but when you start doing that, being faithful to a single woman and treating her well, she loses all respect for you.

Women want to be treated ok by an amazing man, men want to be treated amazingly by an ok woman.

First off stop referring to what a perfect girl is by red pill standards. That's a faggot thought. Fuck what all the larping spergs on here think. What do you want? That statement shows me that you haven't fully ironed out your own standards for a woman. No woman is perfect.

So here's what I can tell you as an older guy and you're not going to like it.

A "perfect" girl is not what you want. You are just like me. You want a challenge. Guys that are good with women want to tame a hot mess.

I had a very submissive housewife type of girlfriend. She gave me sex whenever and she was super loyal. I trusted her with her free time. She was bland and lost her luster quickly.

Who said you have to be monogamous? I can't do it, it doesn't sound you like it. Why do something you don't enjoy? It's your life bro. Sow your oats.

Your young age plays a large role in how you feel about this topic. I would say you’re likely to feel this way until you’re 30.

Physical and mental changes happen, and the effective years you have left to look for the gold standard of women start to dwindle a bit. You’re likely to feel the pull towards starting a family getting stronger. Then again, people differ.

Easy, after years of forcing myself to be monogamous with my LTR I looked back and wondered why i was fantasizing about being with other women.That is not happiness

Doesn't matter if it is evolutionary psychology or something else that explains it, if you are happier spreading your seed across many fields then that is what makes you happy,why try to be something else? Be yourself,explore that side of your sexuality.

Monogamy is not really natural for men but it is an arrived at compromise in the modern west between men and women. Women get to exploit one man entirely, men only get one woman but she was supposed to be loyal.

However, the thing to understand is that once you accept you are non monogamous, you are now in a big wide world of possibilities. Its like accepting you are not monotheisitc -suddenly you are no longer worried over if you practise the right form of worshiping a god from a long gone far away people to be allowed to go to heaven. You realise you can be a hindu, a buddist, an odinist ...and they are all equally valid paths for the right person. You could choose to follow the cult of one god that resonates with you or just drop in to worship any god that you feel drawn to that day or just keep yourself to yourself and worship your ancestors and local spirits. Like polytheism, non monogamy has many forms and you do not have to be wedded to any of them. Only monogamy makes you be wedded to one ideal and concerned when you fall short.

You could have an open relationship or you could be a polygamist having two or more women who must be faithful to you or you could just cheat a bit or have whores on the side, the possibilities are many and one should not get too hung up on them, particularly not to the point of losing opportunity. If you want to settle and have kids you can. You might need to get her permission to entertain yourself elsewhere or you might just step out. You might even do all of these at some point in your life.

I am non monogamous. I have openly had two women at once and also had 3 covertly. Both options ran me ragged. I am rather tired of women's selfish neediness these days. I live with one. I have no intention of being unfaithful to her. I doubt that right now I would replace her if we split but that is just because my priorities have changed in life. I am practising monogamy now but not from principle but because it is the compromise that suits me best at the present.

Once you face up to being non monogamous by nature, don't get too hung up on having to pick a path. The world is now open and you know yourself. What you do sexually is just a compromise between your natural desire to dump a load in every hot woman on earth and the practicality of getting on with women and raising children. Only the innocent and the simple think there are any moral rules.

Monogamy is only viable when it’s enforced by society/the state, and polygamy/promiscuity is outlawed. But monogamy is definitely the go to relationship model for a functioning, prosperous society