Very honest post. Most of us when we had this sort of problem just kept quiet.

I think you are right oneitis is at the bottom of it. We get jealous over things we value and fear losing, add in falling in love and sexual attraction and its tough.

Anything you can do to show yourself that she is replaceable will help. See it for what it is. You are in love, it distorts reality a bit. you are only feeling what you are supposed to feel when in love but its messing you about a bit and you can see its harming you and probably your relationship. You don't have to bang other women but knowing they like you and would bang you helps. However you can be banging lots of women and still be jealous, so her replaceability is not the perfect cure.

Remember you will be normal again. This sort of thing rarely lasts too long, so step back mentally when you feel it coming on. Remember you are nto feeling rational, act adjusting for this.

Why do you think that you love her more than she loves you?

How does she treat you?

You say that you are feeling jealous and insecure. That is one thing...but here is the more important thing - why do you feel this way? did she take steps, say things, to make you feel this way? you say you are worrying about her past, why do you even know about her past? did she start telling you about her past, about previous guys?

if she took steps, said things, to make you feel jealous and insecure, then I would personally end it. Because a woman that does that will never stop. she will simply keep going, attacking you in subtle and varied ways.

the reason why she will never stop? because she can see that making you insecure hurts your feelings, and she gets confidence from hurting you. a woman that gets a twisted feeling of pleasure from inflicting emotional pain on her man will never stop. a woman like that gets more and more pleasure and confidence from slowly destroying a man.

The only thing that's bothering me is my rampant oneitis, and the fact that I clearly love her more than she loves me.

I have written about this extensively before. Here are a few thoughts:

1. You are likely to get advice from around here that sounds something like this "Bro, MAN UP! Don't be a loser simp. Fuck bitches, get money, go to the gym" etc.." This is the advice of knuckleheads. Take it in though, it has its purpose. just don't prioritize this drivel.

2. What you are feeling is based in biology. It is generally called "pair bonding" and it is no fucking joke. You said "love" but there is nothing special about how you feel. Do not add extra meaning that does not exist. You'll see this in the long run whether you want to or not.

3. Attack the roots of your feelings. What you have is an addiction to dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and other hormones. Treat it as such. This is more in your body and less in your head than you realize. But you still have to start with your head - just like with any other addiction.

4. The guaranteed cure for oneitis is to stay until she utterly crushes you. Some men MUST wait until they see her cheating. We get super bonded to women sometimes, and the only thing stronger than "love" (ie Hormone Addiction) is Rock Bottom.

Being in this relationship has actually made my life worse,

1. What is the difference between love and an addiction. In the short term, both make you feel good, both have a powerful effect on our sense of self and overall psychological and emotional well being. Long run, love mellows and builds to something that makes everyone better off. Long run, addictions intensify and seriously damage us. Now its up to you to determine whether this is love or an addiction. (PS - it's an addiction either way, in the short run)

2. I have never been through any 12 step program., but I suspect that most addiction recovery programs focus on a few things. So let's get to the most practical advice. No matter how long you spend in rehab, if you keep putting yourself in the same environment, you are going to relapse. An alcoholic should stay away from bars and clubs. Too many triggers. Act accordingly.

You'll have to find a way to stop triggering these feellings. If you keep your same routine, you will keep thinking about her.

The simple answer is to break up with her and go no-contact. I STILL struggle with this and I am old as fuck. When you have as much to lose as I do, AND you've experienced the capricious dangerous nature of female emotion, you learn to keep your need for intimacy in check.

The consequences for me are too much to bear.

So I keep my life simple as best I can.

Food for thought.

Women are supposed to be a SECONDARY aspect of your life. That’s your cure to one-itis. You need to have so many goals and so much going on in your life that you don’t have the time, or energy, or even desire to pedestalize this woman.

Women absolutely HATE when men make them the center of their lives. They want to compete with our hobbies, etc, for attention; regardless of whatever drivel comes from their mouths. Also, be friendly when you let them know you can’t meet up with them because you have prior plans/commitments. You want to be an upbeat/positive person that others want to be around. Don’t throw things in her face. That reeks of desperation.

Don’t waver from your purpose. She will test you multiple times to see if she can move your from your purpose. She will grow in attraction to you when she realizes that she isn’t the priority anymore. Be kind, but be firm. Don’t give her long drawn out explanations. Let her do most of the talking. Whoever posted that 2/3’s rule is a genius.

Develop an awesome life with goals you chase after relentlessly, and watch the power dynamic shift. Don’t ever let her dictate the narrative. Also, you don’t need to cheat. If you’ve given her explicit commitment then you need to have some integrity man!

What do mean by making you life worse?

I clearly love her more than she loves me

Being in this relationship has actually made my life worse, but I would like to get back to feeling like normal, but without ending it. In other words, I'm looking to cure my oneitis.

[All the lack of self respect in the previous post]

Bro THIS is you

Why the fuck are you dating (and committing for fs) a woman who you already broke up with once , told wasn't wife material and who clearly doesn't seem to be that into you

Especially being red pilled. Why would you be ina relationship where you like the woman more than you. That's blue pilled as fuck. You're acting like a clown. Have some self respect and end it before you end up living together again

You're in too deep. There is no fixing your oneitis here, and I'm not helping you with any more questions on here till you dump her. And I would encourage everyone else reading this reply to do the same

Afaic every girl is a side chick until she's not