I was at the grocery store the other day and this younger dude cut me off. He said "Oh Shit! Sorry bro" and scurried off. I thought to myself ''are you really SORRY bro? Like are you remorseful becuase you stepped in front of me and I had to stop and lose 5 seconds of my day?" This is such a toxic and flawed frame of mind.

So often, we feel the need to apologize when something we did caused someone the slightest inconvenience. This inconvenience makes us feel uncomfortable and we throw out a token apology to alleviate the feeling.

Be honest with yourself right now. How often do you apologize in a day? In a week? How often do you apologize to your wife in a day? In a week?

Last time I apologized to my wife was 2 months ago. A homie was going through some shit at home and spent a few nights out of the house. He came over to talk and another friend came over. As we explained to him how his world views are shit and how they're to sole reason he finds himself in that position (a post I have in rough draft actually), we drank WAY TOO MUCH. They drank all the booze they brought and we cleaned out my beer fridge after that. Homie barfed everywhere outside and I left it cause I was too hammered. Wife ended up getting up to clean it after I passed out.

Not my proudest moment. I could've tried to rationalize it by saying it was our first time together since covid, it was a very emotional night and I hadn't drank that much in a very long time. Instead I owned it and said I was really "sorry" for it. I said "sorry" because I was truly "sorry". Becuase I don't apologize for every little thing, it held weight.

I wasn't "sorry" when I forgot to grab milk, forgot to call the school, didn't sweep the floor because I was too busy, didn't feel like doing groceries after work, etc. She may have been pissy cause I didn't, but I wasn't "sorry" for it. So why would I fuckin apologize? Her being pissed about those things is on her. I don't live my life based on how she feelz. Her feelz are hers and she's a grown ass woman who can deal with them.

Its actually liberating to be free in your fallibility. You can be wrong, admit your error and not be "sorry" for it. In fact, it's good to admit when you're wrong. We're all flawed and shouldn't feel shame for it. It's the first step Owning Your Shit. Next time you feel that knee jerk reaction to say "sorry" for some basic shit, as yourself "Am I really Sorry?"