I am a mom of two young boys and currently a stay at home mom. Recently I had a friendship fizzle out. She is someone I got really close to but after awhile I started to notice she was copying me and getting competitive. I’d run 7 miles shed run 8. I potty trained my son she did hers and made sure to say “I did it this way maybe next time you should ask me how I do it and do that instead”. (I took this as being very nice.) I’d put my son in soccer and she’d overtly comment how my son isn’t as good as hers. I started hosting a womens Bible study at my house and she remarked she should do it at hers instead. It slowly got more intense and I had to break the friendship off after she commented how my son isn’t as mature as her son (after her 4 year old son tackled and slapped mine..)
Anyway, this has made me realize I am not competitive whatsoever. It ignited in me the desire to be someone worth competing with. I want to level up and compete with the old version of myself.
What are some ways you leveled up?
I just started back my degree. I started back at the gym (had to take a break due to my youngest son not taking to being left in childcare.) I started doing stupid simple things like flossing, keeping my car and house spotless , dressing better each day, making the bed…
Anyway I wanted to hear your stories and opinions on the matter. I want to be a 10/10 internally and externally.
Proof-Examination574 2y ago
Sounds like you're dealing with a narcissist. Get them out of your life if that's the case. The next level up as a SAHM is to put the kids out into the world and use the free time to better yourself. It could be anything. Maybe you go to school and get a career and provide a second income to the family... maybe you do charity work... up to you.
LadySandcastle 2y ago
Oof she sounded toxic, glad you took out the trash with that one. It sounds like you're already someone worth competing with lol! But I'm also always on a level up journey because I think it's the fun in life. Here are some things I did/am currently doing that makes me proud:
Focusing on a healthy diet. My husband's a fit freak so at first I grumbled about changing my diet but I've embraced it. I feel so much better eating healthier. I miss junk food all the time of course but I want to be here for a long time!
Making the bed (almost lol) every morning. This sets the tone for the day with a task accomplished. It puts me in a great mood.
Putting your kitchen to bed at night. I got this from Mrs Midwest. It sucks coming into a dirty kitchen in the morning so even though it is the worst chore ever I try to keep the kitchen clean.
Reading self help books, and others. I got into self help because my husband likes a few. It's good to put me in a go-getter mindset. I also picked up fiction books again. I used to read so often but I lost time and put it on the backburner. Reading keeps your mind sharp though.
Stopped cursing. I cursed like a sailor and it made me sound more aggressive than I wanted to be.
Upping my general aesthetics. I stopped biting my nails and began manicuring them. Lightened up my makeup so it looks natural and pretty. Lost some weight and try to keep moving several times a day (and exercise is good exercise!). Threw out all my unflattering clothes and now I'm buying second hand items of good material quality that looks cute and fits my skintone. I got some nice jewlery pieces and I'm looking to add some high quality ones to pass down.
Sorry that's a lot, but I love a good self improvement topic.
LoveWitchXo 2y ago
I’ve recently started doing some light exercise. 30 minutes on the treadmill everyday just walking! My belly has flattened up a bit
Dressing nicer I try to wear a dress or skirt everyday and if not I wear leggings.
Also keeping my nails done and wearing perfume has helped me feel more put together
TheBunk_TB 2y ago
"What are some ways you leveled up?"
Although it doesn't apply to me, (a) Be pleasant. (b) associate with healthy friends (c) share not flex
(Trying to observe rule 9, but it is someone close to me that had success).
LadySandcastle 2y ago
Healthy friends is a great tip. I've seen so many people fall from grace because of who they associate with. It matters a lot more than people think.
ParamedicCapable6484 2y ago
Just saw in a book if ur friends are obese ur more likely to become obese. And if a friend of a friend is obese the Stat is almost the same as well. I have 2kids and married. Only ppl I really talk to are mother in laws and family when forced to.
TheBunk_TB 2y ago
Good friends are an exponential plus
ParamedicCapable6484 2y ago
Wow sounds like we have a lot in common I literally have a friend that does the same thing every thing I do she copies it. Then posts it on social media too....it's really weird. I believe in God and she follows me to each church I attend but she lives in fornication w 3 kids and doesn't believe in prayer so why does she even go to church it's odd to me. Total copycat like imo my life is pretty boring but if I say oh I'm babysitting she says my guy(her boyfriend)asked me why I'm not babysitting either like very jealous (of nothing...!!) For no n reason. I have left her on read and made a point not to reply to her text messages but she still tries calling/texting me on messenger. Oh I told her about a multi state vacation I did in 2020 her and her family copied exact same trip ?? Everything I do she mirrors and now she won't stop trying to get ahold of me. I am at a loss w how to get her off my back. She messaged me from her mom's profile at 1am pretending to be her mother it was very creepy to me.
Tldr, venting
Left_Potential_7526 2y ago
Wow. She doesn't want to take the hints. That's concerning. Maybe you could text her that she has to stop and you will not accept any more attempts to communicate. If she continues the harassment then that's telling as heck.