Some days I can't fight these demons in my head regarding my body, and I want honest feedback as 1) how to think differently about it 2) how to improve it.
TRP has got me into lifting and I had a massive weight loss years ago. I have an overhanging belly as a result of the weight loss.
I've never had a problem getting a girl. Especially hot girls. But on new dates I struggle with my mindset toward my body, especially after telling them I train MMA (I lift/MMA/run/cycle).
Specifically, my mindset struggles on a new date before sex. In my head I always think "damn this girl's gonna be disappointed that I don't have the six pack as I told her I train MMA", even though she can tell I'm in shape, and with clothes on it does look like I am quite muscular.
Last year after banging, one girl asked me what happened with my stomach? And I told her the truth, that I had a massive weight loss over 1 year. Then she kissed my belly and said "man you're fit". But I still can't get out of my head these demons telling me that I am disappointing girls by not having a full six pack. I feel like an insecure bitch about it and I suffer from perfectionism.
Also, I would love to train outdoors topless in the summer. I have these base layer shorts which tuck in my lower belly on runs. Would covering my belly past the bellybutton look too weird? It's comfortable. I came here for your straight up advice.
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PaleOrc 3y ago
"...on new dates I struggle with my mindset toward my body, especially after telling them I train MMA (I lift/MMA/run/cycle)."
Stop volunteering so much information about yourself. Be mysterious and inscrutable. I do all that shit except the fighting-part, and they don't hear a peep about it until my shirt's off and they take a good look at how thick my shoulders are.
TheBosing 3y ago
Regards the shoulders / chest / even upper abs & back / glutes, yes dude, I generally always get a good reaction. I've never heard a peep about this shit when everything's off. It's just a me thing.
In response to your advice about sharing info - I disagree. It's a bit robotic or withholding to not chat about interests/hobbies during dates dude.
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TheBosing 3y ago
Belly has receded slowly over time. My guess it will take 5-10 more years of clean eating/lifting for visible progress regards the belly.
But within those 5-10 years I will continue to date go for the bang etc.
Based on this and the above, what's your assessment?
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TheBosing 3y ago
Thanks for the feedback; fair dues dude.
You said professional - you mean, a trainer/a surgeon or a psychologist?
The 5-10 years was being realistic. Maybe a bit conservative. It might be sped up if I bulked. Since I was fat I've always been trying to keep weight down, partly for MMA training. I feel I can move better when lighter. And I like looking lean in clothes.
I don't know specifics but I weighed about 220-225lbs as a teenager (I'm now 30). I'm 6ft 1" (185cm). It's the usual story - I lost weight fast, as I started running, but then went and ran marathons and didn't lift. I went down from 225lbs to 176lbs in about a year and got the belly as a result. Now I'm around 185lbs. 185lbs is quite comfortable for me, though takes a bit of discipline to keep this weight from time to time.
I'm frustrated because genetically I am fortunate. I'm a decent looking guy, and every other part of my body has responded well to training (glutes/back/chest/shoulders). As I said, never had a problem pulling a girl - even those IG/crossfit thots. But this shit with my belly eats at me when I date a new one, especially before the first bang.
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