Social Dance Venue Guide:

Part I (GAME)

Social Dance Venue Guide:

[Part II | The Scene]()

Will be linked here and at the end of the post when completed

A lot of you guys have asked me to make this guide. So here it is

Post Disclaimer

Long guide, but to my knowledge no other comprehensive guide on it exists, so, YOLO.

Your experience might vary from this guide. My social dance venues are all Western and in the USA, although different social dance places of different kinds probably follow similar dynamics

Why social/partner dance?

1. It is just plain fun: music, the energy, the social component, etc.

2. Dopamine/oxytocin/endoprhins. from all the physical contact with cute women, music, etc.

3. Confidence. The amount of confidence you develop as a lead is remarkable, especially if you get good.

4. Social skills. a lot of 3-20 minute dance sets, etc., will really give easy social practice.

5. Social proof. Especially if you are good at it, you will have insane social proof. Women will approach YOU.

6. Repeat/return girls Can't close or move a set far enough? They'll probably be back for round two.

7. Friends. I have made a lot of acquaintances this way and a few solid friends (both male and female)

8. Dance Skills. Its just a good skill to have. I can show a girl (or friend) a dance move like a dip anywhere I go.

9. Builds an iron mental fortress. Social dance is bitter sweet. It is extremely rewarding but is also loaded with: gut punches, backstabbing, white-knighting, AMOGging, girls you fuck going home with other dudes, etc. Forces you to build RP character and confront your worst demons.

10. Escalation. Duh. You're touching them

11. Lays. Goes without saying.

FAQ for social dance

Putting the FAQs of social dance game in a stickied comment to avoid cluttering the post.

Definitely read it, it has critical information for social dance

Skip it to your own detriment

Guide Table of Contents

Game Categories:

I. Kino

II. Dance skill

III. Social proof

IV. Emotion

V. Isolation

VI. Verbal Game

All of these categories of game can be viewed as a 6-way Venn diagram. These are distinct categories but naturally they will have overlap with eachother in various different ways.

0. Inner Game

For social dance venues

Just keep in mind that inner game differs somewhat at social dance venues. You are walking into the doors with a baseline skillset every night and even if you're having a shitty as fuck day or night you can always fall back on your skills and some cute girl somewhere in the place will love being around you.

So if you have skills, walk into the place knowing that you've got this one way or another.

Also just have normal inner game, too, don't neglect that.

I Kino

Kino forenote(s)

Expectations

Naturally because it is dance you will be touching your dance partner

You can kino during a song beyond the dance move itself, but in all likelihood you'll just look uncalibrated and creepy if you kino her outright like you would at a bar top or something so at best it should be mild or strategic with it.

Everyone will see it, and you'll look bad because there are different expectations for dance floor than a bar counter or outdoor patio, etc.

Muscles in social dance

As a forenote, women will have their hands on you just for basic moves. The more defined and jacked you are, the more they will notice and feel your muscles.

It definitely helps you if you have defined arms and shoulders. Your chances of success go up from that, alone, for dance value

1.0 How to kino in social dance

Types of hand Kino

1. Hand Kino. I normally do not touch them in a traditionally kino way on the dance floor unless there is obvious tension or I'm already fucking them. There's just not much value in it if there isn't already thick tension

2. Small/quick gestures This is a single stroke or so. Best use if she apologizes for something (they can and will if they fuck up a move [even experienced dancers], feel bad about their lack of skill, or accidentally hurt you).

3. Move flair. There are ways to actually do the move and then there is flair. On moves where you can traverse their arm or have to touch their leg to a certain location you can glide your hand subtly etc. It's subconscious but effective as long as its not too overt. Can be more overt if there is obvious mutual tension.

4. Hand position during the basic footwork. usually the right hand is supposed to go behind her shoulder blade but sometimes I hold the other side of her shoulder, or lowerish back than I'm supposed to to get her in closer

5. Hip touch Incidentally. depending on the dance style you can move your hand onto her hip. I usually like to do this if she has to fix her hair or I have to fix something, etc., and we are still in motion going around the dance floor. Or if I'm prepping her for a hip spin.

1.1 Kino as a result of dance move

Move type for kino

Some moves inherently have moreintimate kino than others. For example, the "Sexy Dip" featured here has a high chance of vaginal to thigh contact.

Other moves give access to the neck, hips, arms, thighs. Just learn what works for you and do what works for you and them. Be judicious about who you do certain moves with.

1.2 Kino through teaching moves

Teaching Moves

The arguably biggest opportunity to stray into effective and powerful grey areas of kino with absolutely plausible deniability is teaching moves. Teaching moves can be done slowly, and depending on the move, can be done fairly escalatory

I like to hold them up, hold them slow, run through the moves gradually with my hands on relevant body parts for emphasis. A lot of the times I let my hands linger (which also tests their interest based on how they react) and some times I keep my hands on them even after I show them. Depends but it's potent if done right.

Depending on your dance style, venue and music theme, learn the moves of that style that suit your needs (amd that are fun for you)

1.3 Kino via getting to dance floor

Leading a girl on and off the floor

It is expected as the guy to at least lead her onto the floor. Usually its just leading by finger tips but you can be more forward like linking arms or putting her hand on your shoulder or vice versa or put your hand on the small of her back while going on the floor

You can also lead her off the floor that way too, especially if she's agreed to get a drink or water after the song or invited you or her table or vice a versa

1.4 Other dance floor kino

Miscellaneous kino

Some other good ones to use are giving her a hug if there is a hilarious mistake on the dance floor and you want to acknowledge it via hug (tends to be effective), you end up catching her from a fall and holding her for a few seconds, or pulling her in tight from someone about to collide into her and you on the floor

1.5 Off-floor kino

Standard kino

This is standard venue escalation outside of the dance floor

Touching at the bar top/patio, etc. Standard touch, but dance can easily dovetail into standard kino off the dance floor

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Again, a lot of this stuff would obviously work better if you're good at social dance, if you suck you can still pull a lot of it off with similarly bad newbies and good normal game.

More experienced dancers than you will not be drawn to half of this if you, yourself, cannot dance well or they're just not that into tour SMV alone. I've seen some experienced dancers fall for less experienced guys than them but it's more rare and they compensate other ways

Read the FAQs if you haven't already

II Dance Skill

1. Incentive for girls to interact with you. If you are good at social dance (particularly top 10% there) you will usually have return girls and/or second chances with ones you might have initially flubbed on. Likewise, friends and women will recommend other girls to you or even outright bring you women outright. Girls will also approach you first.

2. Demonstrates value obviously if you are good at it you will just be high value there.

3. Benefit of the doubt on kino. Having expertise means they will not question the level of kino you use to teach them a move unless its way too fucking overt. If the way you touch them is genuinely helping them understand it you can sneak in ungodly kino without anyone batting an eye.

4. Party tricks, etc. Likewise, the more moves you know, you can throw themed parties or just turn your skills into a good party trick

III Social Proof/Dread

Social proof is powerful.

This is going to be the longest section here because this is where you can fuck yourself into oblivion if you're not careful and it will also make your life insanely easier there if you maintain and build it correctly

3.0 Acquiring social proof

The best way to quickly acquire social proof as a n00b is to ask dance Chads to a show a move or two if they don't mind. "Hey, you look like you're killing it out there, would you mind showing me a basic move or two? I'm new"

Usually they will show you unless they don't like you immediately or as long as you don't seem intrusive or pushy out the gate.

More times often than not, they will show you a move because it means they get to borrow a girl they like and they get to demonstrate higher value, so it's a mutual give and take

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Eventually one or numerous of these guys will befriend you if you are genuinely cool and not intrusive, as will the chicks in their group. You will immediately have high value friends to go/sit with in the future.

Cute and platonic female friends there are also indispensable. It is great social proof to have one or more really or hot female dance partners that you genuinely have no intention of fucking

3.1 Social proof with staff

This deserves its own mention. Talk to and meet all the bartenders, security, bouncers, management, coat check, dance instructors, and whoever else you can.

Knowing management and security is huge. They'll stop checking your ID, let you cut long lines, always be putting in a good word for you, give you discounts, and will side with you if shit ever goes down.

3.2 Building social proof via dance

As you get better and better at social dance, you will no longer be dependent on social proof via association, you will accrue your own and always have dance partners and people to sit/associate with.

This will generate a positive feedback loop of good interactions all night that keep you sharp and in state

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Just be kind or amicable to people you don't want to spend time on. The better you are at dance the more random n00bs wanting to learn and girls you don't want to dance with will approach you. Just be nice about it even if you say "no". You don't want to be known as a dick because any bad words about you will stick if you have a dick reputation.

3.3 Maintaining social proof

You can absolutely fuck up your social proof, so don't

Keep a good reputation from the START. Don't gossip (unless truly and absolutely necessary, i.e. calling out snakes, cheaters, etc.)

I've been going to these places for two years, and trust me, despite badly losing frame a few times and rubbing some people wrong, there is an astronomically high percentage of people who still say "I've never heard anything bad about you, VRX"

This being the case even though everyone knows I'm banging chicks most of the time and fairly honest that I'm not looking for anything

3.3.1 Maintaining self image

Do not share much about your life at all at these places. DO NOT dole out ammunition at these places.

Let people come to their own conclusions about negative aspects of your life, etc. Do not vent or share stuff that's pissing you off there

If you hear a rumor and you don't talk about your life much there, girls you bang, etc., then it is very easy to dismiss even truthful rumors with a "ah man that sounds weird/ ah can't say that I did/ ah blah blah blah"

3.4 Social proof with men

As mentioned before in FAQ you can meet high value men to associate with. That being said just don't be a snake. Don't go for men's women. Don't go for a chick your buddy is working on. Don't be an asshole or sabotage bros or get into beef and you'll be fine.

Help them with their moves here and there, be semi understanding if they vent about a hoe or whatever.

Men will reward you with your loyalty and reciprocity (a lot of the time) by bringing you women and vouching for you when women ask about you. They will also take your side in petty gossip.

Don't neglect men in your social proof

3.5 Social proof with girls

Don't be an outright whore or they will spread shit. Women will let you flirt and sow the seeds for there being sexual interest, going home with them, etc., but don't get yourself labeled a fuckboi

Anectdotally speaking, I have a reputation there for being a guy WOMEN WANT TO FUCK but "there for fun and not looking for women," (which is ironic because I'm mostly there to fuck) and so even though I fuck around, I'm an honest, respectful, chivalrous, and fun fuckboi. THAT works, but being seen as a thirsty douchey player does not work

Don't brag about lays, etc. don't even tell people you fucked a certain chick, most people can tell on their own anyway and if it spreads from people's own perceptions just say "ah well I mean we're always around each other" which the girl will understand how it spread cause you didn't say it.

Don't smack talk lays either. You don't need your lays catching wind of it and for other women to think you'll shit talk them too if you get your dick in them.

3.6 Established pre-selection

With a lot of cute and hot female associations, you'll be approached all the fucking time (cause they already have know you) and will be flirting and smiling with you even if you're not fucking any of them.

Other girls see this and it's just a domino effect that can really help you and help other girls feel safe with talking to you and wanting to seek you out.

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If you don't fuck it all up and have a large female following there you will be insulated from random gossip about you being creepy, etc.

Unless you're actually doing something wrong there, it's usually a them problem if girls are being weird about normal night venue interactions or women start randomly being weird for no reason

Not always but pre-selection really helps open doors and prevents other stupid and dramatic floodgates from dumping on you there

3.7 Being accepted as a player

If you're a great and popular guy and a lot of women are chasing you down and trying to spend time with you and openly flirting with you, no one will really blame you for getting your dick wet, especially if these girls don't shit talk you after you fuck them

Conversely, pumping and dumping girls, not being honest about what you're wanting out of them after you fuck, treating them like shit, losing frame after fucking them, etc., can and will peg you as a player and/or a little bitch and that will fuck you

So if you fuck women there, do it right and don't do shit that will follow you. I have high SMV friends and nemeses who can't get laid often because their fuckboi rep is too damn powerful there. Whereas I can fuck chicks and other ones will still try to bang me knowing damn well I have another lay on tap.

3.8 Dread/Competition anxiety

Naturally, if you have tons of women to dance with, and most are really cute, and a lot of them flirt with you, steal you, and are always at the bar top with you, odd talking with you, etc., other women will notice and compete.

Women will try harder, fight for you, and try to steal your time because they have to if they want your attention at all.

3.9 Final notes on social proof

Simply being a good dancer, but also a great guy, will give you tons of options and ignite competitive female behaviors that flip the gender roles. They will approach and invest in you, as well as game you, if they think they have to.

Partner dance with multiple hot women a night and it will kick in the dread and competition

Don't dance with the same chick too much unless you're pretty sure doing so will seal the deal and get a pull, or if staying with her for extended times (especially near the end of the night) ensures she's still by you so you can pull/prevent other unforseen shenanigans

IV Emotions

4.0 Emotional stimulation

If you are doing the previously mentioned categories of game there correctly you should be doing well in the emotions department already

This topic doesn't need much elaboration, just make sure you're emotionally stimulating these women as much as possible and with push/pull, man-to-woman dynamics as you can and they'll keep running back to you like the tingles addicts they are.

Simply:

1. Kino and escalate within reason

2. Make her laugh

3. Give her periodic attention where she is briefly your sole focus for several songs, getting drinks/water, or air on the patio

4. Even when she is your sole focus, other girls will still talk to you, entertain them for a few seconds it threatens their certainty

5. Dance with other women who aren't her

6. Teasing her, verbally escalating, and being a bit of a dick can help if it's lighthearted

7. Dance really well, even intimately

If you are doing all of the above her emotions should be all over the place and thus you're in good shape

Just don't be boring, a buzzkill, have male jealousy, be dramatic, or over-invested in her and her emotions are in your court

V Isolation

5.0 Isolation excuses

Honestly, this one really depends on your venue layout more than anything but you can still generally follow it regardless. Some venues are simply better than others for isolation for this reason though

Excuses:

1. Water. This one is by far the absolute easiest and highest success rate. As a physical activity women are always needing water there, it's free, and it's low investment. You don't have to simp for the drink either and it gets them one-on- one isolated in line with you and/or wherever you drink it.

2. Alcohol. this one costs money obviously and is a bit simpy if you play it wrong. It has benefits though. You can ask what they normally drink and if you're a good casual bartender at home etc., then you can Segway that into a later pull for house drinks or just keep it in your back pocket as making them a drink later can be plausible deniability. Either way this isolates them, too.

3. Teaching dance moves. one of my personal favorites. Depending on the venue I am at, I take them wherever is practical. Just observe where there tends to be a lot of room and space but very little traffic of people needing to walk in your path, etc. It doesn't need to be ultra secluded just available and spacious enough

4. Cooling off. Another favorite. Women often get overheated there. If there is an outside patio, etc. Offer to cool off and take them there. I have probably had some of my most overt kino under the night sky, by going outside relatively alone and just talking and escalating physically out there

5. Needing to sit. If you've been dancing/standing for a while it can simply just be good to sit down and escalate there. Self explanatory

6. People watching. Another easy but hit or miss one. If the venue has multiple floors, etc. it can be very easy to people watch. Sometimes girls like this one a lot and get a kick out of it, especially if you have fantastic commentary. You can always start telling stories of stuff you've seen people do before, etc. This one is actually pretty powerful.

7. Shorter bar lines. Depending on the venue, some bars may be upstairs, in a more isolated corner, etc. Just say "that line looks/is a lot shorter"

8. Pool/darts/karaoke depending on what your venue has to offer this is another easy one as long as she's down for it.

9. Venue change. This one is riskiest and I personally have not used it, though I have PUA friends that have. If there is a place with better drinks or food next door you can briefly take them there and then come back/or see if it goes somewhere else. Make sure their friends won't freak out or cock block if venue changing

10. Pull. Honestly some times you can just isolate them by pulling to your place. Pull some plausible deniability out of your ass and shoot your shot if you think it's good timing and that she'll probably say yes.

If you've isolated a chick and she is getting very physically close to you and won't leave your side in isolation, it's a safe bet that you can pull out of the social dance venue and go to your place or hers, even if you have to wait till bar close

VI Verbal Game

6.0 Dance verbal game

Because social dance is going to involve a lot of touching and accidents (of various sorts) you can easily sexualize, polarize, or man-to-woman the conversation without being overtly sexual and with a free pass (usually) but also it generates unique open dynamics

6.1 Asking girls to dance

To treat it as an opener that will facilitate flirtation, rather than "would you like to dance?" (basic yes/no question), you can directly address something about her directly or open her indirectly like you would any cold approach.

This can be done anywhere: bar, side of dance floor, pool table, etc. Doesn't matter if you're doing an approach versus a yes/no question.

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The benefits of doing a direct or indirect approach before getting them on the dance floor are having easier interest gauging and getting a head start on verbal game. Dancing without talking or awkwardly talking while dancing can fuck you over on the first impression.

Opening them first is also good if you can't currently dance (drink in hand, already have another dance partner lined up next song, no partner dance songs currently playing) and need to bide/kill time time while vetting/testing the waters with a chick

6.1.1 Direct opener

Like cold approach, go up to the girl and make a direct opening statement that is aimed at her.

Like in normal game, direct openers are powerful because they are polarizing. You are making a direct statement about a chick and she can either be receptive to it or not. Comes with risk obviously but it's more personal and thus more stimulating

6.1.2 Indirect opener

Like ordinary game, the indirect opener uses an opener that is NOT about her. It is something, anything in the environment you say or could be as lame as asking for the time (though you should have something more interesting to say than that).

You have far more freedom on an indirect opener than direct

Indirect is less risky but has potentially lower payout than direct unless you can Segway an indirect opener into something more man-to-woman and polarizing

Better to be direct but not overbearing if you're looking for instantaneous results and instantly polarizing her. You will get shit tested way more with direct openers which is good if you can pass them

6.2 Conversation topics

Some easy ones (don't ask about work unless you have a good job yourself)

[My examples in brackets]

1. Where are you from? [Are you a native or a transplant like everyone else?] I like this one because it usually opens a ton of conversation and life story. It's one of those content rich questions.

2. How long have you been dancing? [verbatim]. Good for knowing how skilled they are without doing first awkward moves that don't work with them. Can also help you figure out additional assumptions

3. Have you ever been here before? [verbatim] Good to know for how often they come here (are they regulars or randoms), if they are out of town, etc. Both a vetting and a logistical question.

4. Hobbies [What do you do for fun outside of here?]. Good for thinking of date ideas. Also if you do cool shit a lot of girls will say "you'll have to invite me some time!"

Again these are just easy go-to's. Should not be the full extent of your conversational abilities and they're not necessarily exciting or game-rich. Ideally you should be saying more exciting conversation that they probably haven't heard all night

6.3 Teasing

Dance has so many snafus and mishaps specific to dance that teasing is something you can capitalize on.

Here are some dance-specific teases you can use. IDGAF if you steal my lines:

6.3.1 When she injures *you*

(especially if she apologizes)

1. You were trying to end my dance career weren't you?

2. You owe me a drink for that one/ to make the pain go away

3. Wow, you're so abusive! (follow up or add-on: "I didn't know this was a love-hate relationship")

4. What the fuck/feck was that, NAME!? (Don't sound serious or mad or she'll think you are, laugh while you say it)

5. I didn't know punching/[or whatever that injury was] was part of this move

6. I didn't know you had that kind of a kink

6.3.2 When she says she's bad at dance

1. A bit (or hold up ?), but you'll get better

2. (? gesture), but you're fun/cute so that makes up for it (the cute line is higher risk but higher reward than "fun", but more direct)

3. Just awful (in a cocky funny way, I've used this before only if shes high interest and you need to scale back on the comfort)

6.3.3 When she doubts her skills/

says she doesn't know what to do

1. Neither do I / I'm a complete n00b (then proceed to show her how good you actually are)

2. Don't worry, it will be fun either way

6.3.4 When she keeps missing moves or cues ahe should otherwise be getting

1. Dayum, how many drinks have you had tonight? (use if you have some rapport or know her already). If she says she hasn't had any (or enough drinks) follow up with "well maybe you need another one" (only use the follow up if you don't mind buying her one or know she'll buy her own.

2. Are you high right now? (If she's laughing and messing up; I've used and gotten laughs under the right circumstances)

6.3.5 If she compliments your skills/abilities/strength

1. That's not all/the only thing im good at (smirk or tone is customizable)

2. Don't stroke my ego, I need to be humbled (they usually fake give you shit after this, leads to really good banter)

3. We make eachother look good (has situational benefit, don't just validation for no reason)

4. What can I say, I like to/ know how to throw you around (after strength compliment)

5. Good, I want to throw you around some more/later (this one is more risky and a bit of a big YOLO so you've been warned)

6. I have a lot of stamina (if she compliments you don't take breaks much)

6.3.6 If she accidentally gropes you

This one is more nuanced you have to play if off just right and use good social intelligence in conjunction with other game

1. Jeez NAME, at least buy me a drink/take me out to eat first (I'd go with drink as it's more relevant unless you're trying to venue hop to late night/early AM food after venue close)

2. Woah, slow down NAME, I'm not going home with you tonight (very high risk, high-reward)

3. Woah, you haven't even kissed me yet, keep your hands to yourself (high risk, you can leave off the kiss part if that works better for you)

6.4 Normal verbal game

Only treat the above situations as supplement to running ordinary verbal game due to the amount of openings they will give you and not as a substitute for it. Polarize and verbally escalate like normal otherwise.

END POST

Social Dance Venue Guide

[Part II | The Scene]()