Green-Tinted Glasses
The issue usually goes like this:
Hey guys, there is this girl, she cooks for me, cleans for me, has sex whenever I want, laundry list of green flags...
BUT
[Proceeds to insert a few unignorable red flags and a massive wall of text]
Rose-tinted glasses is just a general positivity bias due to positive emotions or stimulation from the girl (good sex, good company) and a guy will just view her better than she really is at a base level for it. However, the phenomenon of Green-Tinted Glasses differs in the sense that it comes directly from a deep cognitive fallacy and confirmation bias schema towards seeking pre-determined dating and vetting outcomes for looking for a "good girl" who has "good girl" flags, even if it means ignoring obvious (or subtle but very telling) red flags.
Whereas rose-tint is a passive experience at surface to mid-level, green-tint is an active cognitive deception the man deeply deceives himself into with preconceived notions.
Having green-tinted glasses almost always results in a thorough re-redpilling straight up the ass over a barrel without lube sooner or later.
When you ONLY see green flags, all the red ones look brown and mundane. "After all, if she has all of these green flags how could she possibly not be a good girl? Her red flags must be incidental"
Eventually all of the red flags pile up, not even ignorable to the most confirmation-bias driven of men; and by that point tensions have already flared, frame has already been catastrophically lost, and if she hasn't cheated or branch swung, is already on the way out of the relationship, ending it with you, or forcing your hand.
Causes
1) Hypersensitivity to RED flags
One of the most prevailing vulnerabilities that makes Red Pill aware men so susceptible to green-tinted glasses is being hyper-aware of a litany of red flags that women have that AFCs, betas, and blue-pillers are unaware of. You, as an RP man, can see the writing on the wall a mile away through all the subtle tells when first meeting the vast majority of women within a few meets (that is unless you are untrained and miss the subtlest of red flags or she hides them upfront very well)
2) Hyper-fixation on GREEN flags
As a counterbalance to the first susceptibility, Red Pill-aware men will develop a hyper-fixation on green flags, which, if left unchecked, will lead to a hypersensitivity to green flags and unicorn hunting, and inevitably green-tinted glasses. As a red pill man trying to navigate a landscape of shameless whores and closet sloots, particularly in the West, you are on the lookout for a litany of green flags, the Five F's (friendly, feminine, frugal, fun, and fit), or any other way you want to classify the green flags if you are open to the idea of a relationship at some point.
3) The girl strategically counterbalances her flags
Girls that have been around the block with getting dumped for their red flags, and who are capable and self-aware enough to mask them after painful breakups, learn to offset their red flags with green flags. She knows how to dance around the body count question, she knows how to gloss over the alpha widow she still jills off to at night because she's not over him yet, she is a trained professional because she knows the price of being too honest too fast. If she's smart, she also knows what men want (generally speaking) and will put that forward because she knows it's a fast-track ticket to looking desirable. By giving men exactly what they want, SHE can get what SHE wants.
Acquiring Green-Tinted Glasses
The process of acquiring green-tinted glasses usually happens like this and usually happens quickly before the guys realizes he fucked himself early on due the above three causes:
-
Guy meets girl
-
She doesn't show red flags up front (smart on her part)
-
Girl puts her best foot forward up front (green flags)
-
Guy and girl spend additional time together, might even bang quickly
-
Girl keeps best foot forward while minimizing visibility of her downsides
-
Guy with green-tinted glasses only sees what he wants to see
- Girl lets her red flags slip (they can't help themselves) and guy excuses all of it
Generally speaking though, the girl didn't wait for step seven to show her red flags eventually, she was showing them the entire time.
The fact that she had whiskey straight on the rocks on the first date, that subtle story she told on your first date about a guy she probably fucked or probably isn't over yet, a part of why she is single that she glibly glossed over, the way she treated the service staff at the bar, the fact that she used to be a bartender, talking herself up while putting others down, etc.
By this point he has deceived himself by vetting her in the affirmative out of confirmation bias of looking for green flags instead of taking a reasoned and sober accounting of her flags as a generality.
Preventing Green-Tinted Glasses
The best way to prevent green-tinted glasses is to have the discipline to keep in mind:
-
She's 99.9999~% likely not special, disband your unicorn-hunting fantasies entirely
-
Assume ALL women are sluts until they consistently show otherwise over time
-
DO NOT ignore ANY red flags. They are red flags for a reason
-
Even a complete whore can cook and clean for you, many green flags are incidental
-
Don't second-guess yourself, if your gut doesn't feel right something probably isn't
-
Consider ALL circumstance. Did you meet at a club? Any other auto-disqualifiers?
- Withhold final judgement on your vetting thoughts until months have passed
Protect yourself from having green-tinted glasses by being smart, aware, and avoiding cognitive fallacies and confirmation biases blinding you to reality
~VRX
Overkill_Engine 2 12mo ago Stickied
Additional: Vetting is Forever.
Still with her a month from now? You still have to vet her. A year? Still vetting. Decade? You guessed it, still vetting.
There will never be a point where you get to rest so long as you are with her. You will have to vet her every single day. Deal with it. Because even a woman that had been good her entire life up until tomorrow can decide to turn bad.
Want convenient access to pussy without having to vet? JFC, just pay for a whore and be done with it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
@typo-MAGAshiv let me know you were flaired on r/TheRedPill so I applied your points here too
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
I stickied this comment because you will always be vetting and that's a straight red pill.
Wolve 11mo ago
"Girls that have been around the block with getting dumped for their red flags, and who are capable and self-aware enough to mask them after painful breakups, learn to offset their red flags with green flags. She knows how to dance around the body count question, she knows how to gloss over the alpha widow she still jills off to at night because she's not over him yet, she is a trained professional because she knows the price of being too honest too fast. If she's smart, she also knows what men want (generally speaking) and will put that forward because she knows it's a fast-track ticket to looking desirable. By giving men exactly what they want, SHE can get what SHE wants."
The old warning applies to romance too: if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is. Women that have the perfect story are probably liars. Perfect stories don't often happen in reality. Now if it just happens once, ok, but if two or three too good to be true stories pile up... well you know the drill.
ncstaterepted 12mo ago
Insanely good post!! First time I've heard brown used in the red/green dichotomy and that ties it into reality for me.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
Thank you! I appreciate it
Seagram7 12mo ago
If anybody remembers here that a lot of my posts rant on the chameleon. Yet I have to also look inward and realize that I have the green tinted glasses. In the past, I have choose to purposely ignore the red flags and suppressed that feeling in my gut. A girl would say something and instead of cataloguing it and subtly digging further, I would ignore that gut feeling. Then later on, during quiet contemplation, I start putting it together and become shocked that she was able to fool me, when in reality my vetting sucked.
As I said, the smart girls either already know, or have been burned enough, and now know how to chameleon themselves into respectable girls. All the girls in my post -wall age group are the sweet, innocent type that NEVER did that kind of stuff. I still think that these girls are smart enough and vicious enough to obtain their goals is a predatory like way and their ability to chameleon are amazing. But as you say, they cant hide ALL the red flags. Plus I will never ceased to be amazed and the way a girl will eventually tell on herself.
How I usually find out the hard way is via the elapse of time. A girl can only put her act for so long and the longer you hang out with her the more she will slip and tell on herself. It's usually that one comment or act that lets the green tinted glasses fall off and I start to think.
An example is this one post I read where this girl was crazy, she knew she was crazy (crazy as way into feminism and the patriarchy stuff) but she met a Chad like bux and she was pushing 30 and wanted that marriage , kids and security. It took Herculean effort to put her crazy on a leash. She was able to last a whole six months when his father passes. His Dad was a gearhead that worked on muscle cars. She then starts on how car culture is a symbol of the patriarchy and he needs to sell his dead Dad's cars to pay for their wedding. Those glasses fell off pretty quick for that guy.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
They can't help it. They always tell on themselves. Their solipsism doesn't allow them to not bargain for the most they can get. They always try to get more than they should be content with, they almost always indulge a little too much. They're almost always a little too proud of ashamed of their conquests and start spilling trickles out
This girl was definitely red flag Central from the start though. That was his first mistake
Dxmx99 12mo ago
Real shit, this happened to me. All those green flags pop more than the red ones so much so that by the time you notice how many there are, it's going to be too late.
Some you don't even notice until you sit back and reflect on that LTR that was once thought to be so great, a real solid bond between man and woman.
I even realized for myself just how well a girl can put her best foot forward to sell themselves to you. I know how it feels to have someone butter you up. I deal with it daily and that's when I amusedly allow the girls to showcase their best while knowing it's just fronting.
Let that ball roll too long and you will regret that shit.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
Part of the problem is relativity. A lot of men struggle to fuck and get laid. They lose their virginity to desperate whores. Then they improve themselves but still go for easy puss (clubs, OLD) and get better but still shitty puss.
Then they find one hoe that puts on all the green flags and it's a mystical upgrade and he thinks he's hit the jackpot but it's not. Same shit, better cover.
At some point as men we need to see all of the writing on the wall. The great tragedy of modern times is that men have to lift heaven and earth to participate in the sexual marketplace at all (if they are sub 50% of men) and that it can be difficult to then switch gears and obtain better prospects once we become sexually independent.
It can be hard to walk away from what we think is a good change of pace but really it's the same shit with a better cover story. We blame women for things we ourselves should have paid more attention to. Women are always going to women, it's up to us to actually make self-respecting vetting decisions with experience
MovinCruisin 12mo ago
The modern times fucking suck, man... In the 50s I could have just dated a classmate from high school or some shit, be married at 21 and have my first child by now. Instead I'm in university trying to game leftist chicks like a dumbass. They love being treated like children which is actually hilarious but get hung up on the most random shit and make demands and the moment you bend just a little bit they lose all attraction. So sick of this. They all drink and smoke and refuse to shave their armpits for some reason. I hate my city.
EurasianChad 1 12mo ago
Great post.
Women are always looking for ways to disqualify men, men are always looking for ways to qualify women.
As a man who is aware of male-female dynamics, its in your best interest to adopt the strategy of disqualifying women for red flags, rather than opting for your natural/socially conditioned green flags filter.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
Thank you. Yes.
Part of this I think is the grind men have to experience. We grind and then went results for our progress. We upgrade and then hope that reflects in the world around us. Because we are expected to be the pursuers we expect ourselves to have good judgement in who we pursue. Picking wrong is a hit to the ego, especially if effort was expended for the lay/dates etc and we want our efforts to match our initial beliefs and judgements as well.
All women really have to do is swipe right or left on men and real life or on OLD. They don't have to do much work, just have discipline not to fuck every Chad that tries to hit it and then disqualify men who don't vibe with their goals.
It's hard to be a man who doesn't tie himself to the fruits of his labor but it is possible to avoid the pitfalls if you know how to see them and have the self respect to walk away from a bad fruit
Lone_Ranger 2 12mo ago
great post.
There is a deeper issue here. As life goes on, and you meet more and more women, and the relationships seem to go the same way (bad), you yourself becomes a filter that means only bad women will enter your life. You yourself become a problem.
Think about it. If you're essentially getting 'over' redpilled, and you believe that 'all women are sluts', devoting your life to lifting and gaming, spending your time on OLD and the bars, the only women you will meet are dead end women. Most guys don't understand that, just as women can be the problem, you can be the problem as well.
You become a magnet for bad chicks, and repel good chicks. Think about it - what kind of woman would want to be with a man that believed all women are sluts, and was only interested in lifting and gaming? A shallow, victim mind-set, self hating slut. That's the only kind you'll get.
Would you like to be with a woman that was 'pink pilled'? A woman that thought that all men were losers, poseurs and fakes, and she was only interested in make up and flirting?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
Solid comment. I think we might have had this thread before together but I think a man's hoe phase is incredibly important:
Knowing that you CAN get pussy, but just for that alone, not companionship with whores.
Inability to get sex and keep sex around is such a massive obstacle for MOST men. It's incredibly important for men to develop the skill set and value to be able to acquire sex, even if from hoes, if only to just be in complete control of his sexual destiny
Once a man knows he can easily get laid, sex stops being this pinnacle point of achievement. It just starts becoming another lay in the notch post.
That being said there is a lot more that is important than sex and a lot of men get stuck in the sex grind even after they can reliably get laid because their grind to get sex never left their ego. And who do they keep fucking? Sluts.
It's important as hell for men to graduate past the getting laid stage once they can actually reliably get laid and actually pursue their own mission and goals. Looking for green flags amongst whores, or like you said, "good girls" while thinking every women is a massive slut while you yourself are dabbling in low quality pussy is not a winning life strategy, especially if your goal is to actually find someone with legitimate green flags and not just a whore that can take care of a man when she needs/wants to
Lone_Ranger 2 12mo ago
"Once a man knows he can easily get laid, sex stops being this pinnacle point of achievement" agree x 100
"Looking for green flags amongst whores, or like you said, "good girls" while thinking every women is a massive slut while you yourself are dabbling in low quality pussy is not a winning life strategy"
agree x 1000
MovinCruisin 12mo ago
The re-redpilling is always inevitable, is it? What do I do if I have the opposite problem? Like, if I acknowledge every red flag and DON'T BP myself for a bit then there are simply 0 women out there for me that I would wanna date.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
Well yeah
IF
You had Green-Tinted Glasses on, which it sounds like you haven't
MovinCruisin 12mo ago
Thanks for clarifying. There was this chick couple days ago that couldn't let go of something and I knew if I apologized I'd lose frame and for some reason... I did it, maybe to see if I was right. Well, she disrespected me hard and lost interest. I didn't want her, but it still stings. Feels like losing a game of chess and I am one sore loser.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
Some women are just cunts man. They only show respect to savage alphas. that in of itself is a huge red flag
Bullet dodged
MovinCruisin 12mo ago
True. They're all feminists at my university, go figure. Secretly they all want to be bossed around, they LOVE my amused mastery, but then they can't stop being bitchy about the tiniest things. Basically ruining it for themselves. She had a bf anyway, probably a complete beta lol
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12mo ago
Imagine subscribing to an ideology with a straight face that tells you you're the victim when people constantly do shit for you for free, you can get laid any time you want, the legal system favors you in every conceivable way, you get infinite levels of validation, can easily get away with things other people can't, and you start most races right in front of the finish line
Feminism in a nutshell. Deserves an instant next imo unless ONS