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Theolympicnomad 6mo ago
LOL says a woman who doesn't get asked out of coffee dates or drinks. Because IF she did she wouldn't be making a post about it.
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
There you have it.
Women see 'classical dating' (meals) as a status symbol. If they can force a man to pay for their meals and drinks, it proves that they are worth something. If we don't pay for their meals and drinks, it means that men 'don't value' them.
How pathetic is that? Imagine a gender so infantile and emotionally fragile that they cannot independently derive any sense of self worth absent an opposite sex actor laying down some money on the table? Could it be, (whisper this bit) that they have no value?
Could it be that a woman is worth nothing unless a man says she is?
I really don't know where 'ferociouskatie' is going with all this.
Theolympicnomad 6mo ago
Women inherently know that they aren't worth the attention it takes to even figure them out, that's why their whole existence is "GET MORE ATTENTION!" I love women but God they're stupid as fuck
ogrilla99 6mo ago
Part of the reason for coffee dates is because in these times of OLD, people start out "dating" as essentially strangers. Sure, in the old days, the "first date" was maybe a dinner and a movie, but that was because you already knew the person. Either they were part of your real life networks (work, friends group, church, etc) where you've already spent a fair amount of time getting to know one another before deciding to date, or the date was someone you trusted (friends, family) setting you up with someone that's already vetted.
In those times, even a blind date wasn't really blind. Usually it was a friend vouching for this person before you agree to be set up. Nowadays, OLD is basically like going on a blind date with some random stranger that no one has vetted. The coffee date isn't really a date; it's a compressed form of the vetting that used to occur before 2 people decided to go on a "real date".
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
I guess $10 max on a coffee date for 30 minutes isn't as valuing of their time as a $50 dinner date for 40 minutes
If only we gave them 10 minutes (and $40) more of our time then it wouldn't be a trap!!
Theolympicnomad 6mo ago
Exactly. Feminism is basically trying to teach these women how to be a prostitute without being a "prostitute" And women like to use the argument "it's not prostitution because I'm not getting money from him"
Sure you're not fucking for 10 dollars but You're fucking and selling the idea of sex with you for a free dinner and a place to stay.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
Anything short of fucking a guy for free because of genuine desire is essentially prostitution if he hasn't spent any money on her
Splitting the check is arguably one of the only ways a date is not prostitution
lurkerhasarisen 1 6mo ago
I see that we’ve come full circle: FDS tells women to extract resources and attention from men they don’t like and whose time they don’t value by pretending to be interested. Red pilled men learned to reduce the amount of time and resources they’re willing to spend determining whether a woman’s interest is real or feigned, and now the same women are calling that a trap.
This is like the trend of women jumping on board the PoundMeToo bandwagon, and calling men “creeps” and then complaining that attractive men don’t approach women as much as they would like.
Women - being emotional creatures for the most part - demanded that all the rules be changed, but it never occurred to them that men would adapt. Men - being rational creatures for the most part - have done the cost / benefit analysis and the risk / reward analysis, and realized that pursuing a woman by making grand gestures fails on both counts unless she makes her intentions crystal clear.
The result is that women are now on the hook for making an effort. They need to make the approaches, and if they want the first date to be anything more than a cappuccino and a scone, they’d better be prepared to pick up the tab and put out.
Way to go, feminists… you got played by your own grandmothers.
Theolympicnomad 6mo ago
Exactly like I told Mr.Vermillion. Feminism is teaching them how to be prostitutes without being "prostitutes"
ogrilla99 6mo ago
Feminists lost the day they started explaining -- with a straight face -- that pole dancing was a legitimate form of exercise and got suburban housewives taking lessons.
And they think we're the ones disrespecting them?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
FDS unintentionally did an incalculable amount of damage to female dating strategy (even for well-meaning women) by broadcasting all of their methods publicly and proudly.
Same thing with #poundmetoo
A brilliant illustration of why women should never lead anything. They are not capable of devising end goals that actually meet their needs because they don't have the ability to do rational cost benefit analyses. And where they are aware of undesirable tradeoff, go through with it anyway because their solipsism demands that they be correct in their emotion-driven machinations.
To exercise discipline for women is to deny themselves emotional outcomes and women operate on emotions like lungs need air
Problematic_Browser 1 5mo ago
FDS was doomed to failure because the whole premise was flawed:
"You aren't getting what you want in the dating market, so the solution isn't to change yourself to be more appealing to men, but to demand more from men."
It's a flawed strategy.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5mo ago
Summed up nicely. They were trying to fight gravity with more dead weight.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 6mo ago
Unless planning a divorce!
Source: my parents and many other couples I observed over the decades.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
Touche
Women are capable of it during acts of utter destruction and regression. (Marriage is a destructive action)
Overkill_Engine 2 6mo ago
Though women have done enough long term damage to the institution of marriage for short term gains that they meet the definition of the earlier dynamic, just on a far larger macro scale and timeline.
Men are starting to realize there is little to no point in engaging in a contract that women are allowed to renege on at will while men still get held to their imputed obligations.
Going to be a lot of divorced or never married women in retirement homes with no one to advocate for them once GenX starts retiring, and it's just going to get exponentially worse.
And it's not like there was a lack of warning signs that would have informed women to restrain themselves in order to retain a better outcome than dying alone of sepsis in a pile of their own shit and piss.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
I forgot they were a thing and also never once thought about that. Yeah they are fucked when the last wave of the original feminist generation(s) die off or get too old to bother with the debate any longer.
It's a lot harder to stick up for failed positions when too many men from your own generation see it for what it is. The men of previous generations went with it in larger numbers.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 6mo ago
[Admiral Akbar voice]:
IT'S A TRAP!
pfft. It was just good, common sense that I and many others followed back before the Red Pill was anything other than a prop in "The Matrix".
Most women agreed with it back then, too. They understood that I didn't necessarily want to spend a ton of money on a stranger that one or the other of us might decide we really aren't interested 10 minutes in. They understood that it was easier to peace out from a walk in a park or coffee at a shop than from the middle of a meal. They understood that it was about getting to know each other a bit, and being thrifty was the way to go.
It didn't originate with TRP. TRP is just about good strategy; "if it works, it's Red Pill". If bringing flowers actually helped men get laid, then it would be Red Pill.
On a first date, we're essentially strangers. Of course I don't like you (yet) or value your time (yet).
And if you respected men's time, efforts, etc or even just respected men as fellow humans, you wouldn't expect them to drop a ton of cash just to get to know you a bit.
And men know that if a woman is sufficiently attracted to them, no spending is necessary. I didn't spend one dime on some of the women I fucked. Related blog post: Roissy's classic Be a Skittles Man.
Overkill_Engine 2 6mo ago
Hell, I've had women buy me breakfast. Granted, that was them covering a red flag that their idea of cooking was putting frozen food on a cookie sheet. But still.
lurkerhasarisen 1 6mo ago
A lot of guys don’t understand how little effort is required when a woman really wants a man. I can think of three cases when I was single where women were all over me with literally no effort on my part. I was celibate before I got married, but I have no doubt that I could have banged all of them… one of them flat-out propositioned me when I wasn’t trying to “close the deal.”
When I was in a dating service about a dozen women picked my file and initiated contact. I have no way to gauge their interest because I only dated one of them (the one I married), but I’m certain that at least some of them were genuinely attracted.
And that’s not counting the ones who were immediately DTF since I’ve been married. Obviously I haven’t taken any of them up on it, but the offers were pretty clear. (In one case a woman I had just met straight up invited me to her hotel room.). Edit: when I say that we just met I’m being generous… we didn’t even know each other’s names.
As I have repeatedly stated: nobody who knows me in person has ever mistaken me for a Chad. The fact that this occasionally happens is a mystery to me. I’m sure it has something to do with my generally “positive attitude.”
Problematic_Browser 1 5mo ago
Most of the guys who struggle have never been in a market where they are 2-3 points higher than their competitors.
They don't understand that women don't play games with men they're attracted to because they have never been anything other than "just another dude".
ogrilla99 6mo ago
Yeah, it really is eye opening the first time it happens and changes your expectations forever. Once you realize that women aren't chaste good little girls that need to be wined and dined before they deign to have sex, and that they're actually just as horny if not hornier than the average guy, it changes your definition of what it means for a girl to "like" you.
FWIW, being horny doesn't always translate into being a slut. Every woman wants to have sex with an attractive guy. The difference between a slut and a good girl isn't the desire for sex, it's who they're attracted to (and how many of them). You find a good guy with good character attractive, marry him and become an absolute goddess between the sheets? Good for you! That's what's supposed to happen. Give up the same enthusiastic sex for every ex-felon on the street? You're a slut and not wife material.
lurkerhasarisen 1 6mo ago
I think the line between “slut” and “good girl” isn’t defined by who a woman finds attractive, or how many men she finds attractive: it’s based on her actions. I see attractive women every day… that doesn’t make me a man-whore.
Any woman has sex available at all times, and has temptations thrown at her constantly. What differentiates one from another is whether she avails herself of the opportunities.
It’s not a sin to be tempted because the forbidden fruit appears attractive: it’s a sin if you give in to it. (Setting your mind on it is also sinful, but that’s a theological principle for another day.)
wswZtyqNGQ 6mo ago
Correct. Drugs, alcohol and gambling are available to men at all times, and temptations thrown at us constantly. What differentiates a mature man is whether he avails himself of the opportunities.
Justanaverageguy 6mo ago
It’s worse than that now. If you take a woman on a coffee date you will likely end up on one of the many of “are we dating the same guy” pages with your pic and all. That’s the new FDS. So coffee dates are even out these days.
Problematic_Browser 1 5mo ago
Those pages aren't anything except free advertising for men. I've been on one of those and when confronted I just laughed about it and asked if the reviews are any good.
Women don't give a fuck about sharing a man if he's attractive enough.
Overkill_Engine 2 6mo ago
Yes ladies, please reject coffee dates out of hand and let men know upfront that you are just in it to be a mealdigger, saving us so much time filtering you out.
No-Stress-Cat 6mo ago
I think diners make great dates. Even if just for coffee. It's not expensive. I usually come out with stuff like, "Yeah. I really like a home-cooked meal." and "So tell me, how would you make the meatloaf and mashed potatoes here taste even better?" and one of my favorite questions, "So, what is your signature dish? How do you make it differently that makes it special, that makes it say YOU?"
lurkerhasarisen 1 6mo ago
I like the cut of your jib. A woman’s ability to cook is a lot more important than a man’s ability to splurge on a tomahawk ribeye. That’s especially true when you’re young, since it takes years for a man to reach a financial place where he can drop a lot of money on a bunch of low-probability speculations (which is what a first date with a virtual stranger is).
I’m no longer a young man, but although I’m married I can imagine what my situation would be like if I were single. Even though I’m at a place where I could afford to be relatively extravagant, I don’t think I’d have to be: any woman of quality who dates men my age will have had enough experience to know that it’s her job to impress me.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 6mo ago
I did a mix of coffee dates and mostly tried to do walks in public parks,etc.
I had some women who were offended, say, I'm a grown woman, you aren't a grown man.
Was happy to let those woman walk, I'm 100% confident those women would expect me to go to a nice restaurant , she'd order expensive drinks and totally expect me to pick up the tab.
So, I never put myself into those positions.
Never had problems finding women to do walks or coffee.
If a woman is interested in you, attracted to your profile, they will go along with what you want.