OG post author: u/Archwinger (TRP Vanguard)

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Archwinger:

Guys get rejected by women. All the time. Even really cool, really masculine, super-duper-alpha-manly-men get rejected sometimes. Rejection is no big deal.

But a lot of guys are paralyzed by the fear of rejection. The fear of embarrassment. If a woman blows you off or turns you down, that’s embarrassing and means you’re not good enough, right? Actually, not always. But even if it did, so what? They’re just women.

When you walk up to a girl and she’s rude and blows you off, you feel hurt. Embarrassed. Angry. You might even want to give her a piece of your mind. She didn’t even give you a chance. She didn’t even give you the common courtesy of exchanging a few polite words. She didn’t treat you like a human.

The fact is, she did you a favor. She wasn’t going to fuck you. She didn’t want to. She wasn’t interested. It doesn’t matter why. Maybe she thought you were ugly, maybe she has a boyfriend or husband, maybe she’s a super-ultra-mega-lesbian, or maybe she has a raunchy vagina and is waiting to finish her course of antibiotics. It doesn’t matter. She did you a favor. In fact, by letting you know she’s unpleasant, she saved you the headache of dealing with her. Now you’re not going to waste your time thinking you’re getting somewhere with this girl only to get turned down later. She saved you all of that energy. Be thankful for that. Embrace the rejection and move on.

However, some girls that aren’t going to fuck you won’t give you the courtesy of blowing you off immediately. Maybe she’s afraid you’re going to be a douchebag and make a big scene if she’s bitchy. It’s a legitimate concern – some loser guys do that. Maybe she enjoys the attention. Maybe she’s manipulating you for free drinks. This isn’t something to get mad about. Basking in the free attention and validation you’re handing out is just what women do. If you’re giving out attention and not getting laid, that’s on you.

Your job is to control your encounters with women. To make your intentions clear from the start. To flirt. To escalate. Touch. Keep things moving forward at a steady, comfortable pace until you get a hard no. Don’t sit around paralyzed by the fear of rejection and embarrassment, chatting with some girl like you’re one of her girlfriends. Like you just want to be her friend or something. If you make your intentions clear from the start, touch, escalate, and flirt – if your intentions are so clear that she can’t pretend not to know why you’re talking to her – she will be forced to either reject you or respond positively to your advances. Controlling these encounters is up to you. If you sit around chatting and not making moves, hoping she’ll give you a signal, you’re letting her be the man, which is about as sexy as a yeast infection.

Time and time again, we see questions from Red Pill guys that go something like, “Here’s what I said and did with this chick at a bar, but at the end, she flaked! What did I do wrong?” And a bunch of idiots go through his conversation and try to pick out the one or two lines of speech where he blew it. Like this girl was some kind of puzzle he could have solved if only he’d said and done the right things.

While some guys do blow it, in most cases, what a guy does wrong is far simpler: He didn’t force her to either reject him or respond positively, early in the interaction. He didn’t escalate in a clear manner that could not possibly be ignored. He didn’t control the encounter.

Some women just aren’t fuckable. At least not by you and not tonight. There’s nothing you’re going to be able to say or do that’s going to magically unlock her panties and get you in bed with her. You didn’t say or do anything “wrong” at the bar. She wasn’t going to fuck you, no matter what. Your mistake wasn’t what you said during your conversation. It was your failure to figure out whether this girl was fuckable at all, early in the encounter, before investing half your night paying attention to her. It was your failure to embrace the possibility of rejection and be thankful for it. To escalate and risk that rejection.

Even the most super-hot, manly, badass dudes get rejected sometimes. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. Sure, sometimes it’s entirely your fault. You’re not hot, you’re not dressed well, you’re socially awkward or acting funny or your game sucks ass. You have a lot of work to do. That’s fine. Own that. But recognize that tonight, at this time, that particular girl was not fuckable by you. No matter what you say or do. She might go home with somebody better. That shit happens. But your job isn’t to fuck every girl every time. It’s to control these encounters. To figure out, early on, whether a girl is fuckable, and not waste your time with the ones that aren’t.

Rejection happens. Don’t go home and seal yourself off in “monk mode” for ten years as you bench press and read pick-up literature, or get on line and start posting rants for 8 hours a day about how none of this shit works unless you’re naturally seven feet tall with a perfectly symmetrical face. Just do a better job of controlling your encounters and getting to that rejection sooner, so you make better use of your time and energy. Because some girls are fuckable, tonight, by you, right now. You just have to embrace the possibility of rejection, and be thankful for the girls that refrain from wasting your time by rejecting you, so you can move on and maximize your return.

Remember, they’re just women. And women are for fucking. One of many hobbies you enjoy. Quit taking them so seriously. Just try to fuck one, and if it doesn’t work, go try to fuck another. Repeat as needed. Never let yourself get hung up on this one girl you thought you were maybe going to fuck. Just embrace the rejection and move on.

Obviously, still learn from your mistakes when you make them and they cause you get rejected. But don’t make the biggest mistake of all by trying to avoid the risk of rejection entirely. It’s just a woman. It’s not even a real risk. You’re not jumping out of a plane or putting all of your money into cryptocurrency. It’s just a dumb slut that might giggle at you. Does being judged by a woman really keep you up at night?