Warning, long read.
I'm a 34-year-old guy who recently became single after a 15-year marriage to my high school sweetheart. Now, I'm reshaping everything.
Since re-entering the single world, I've realized I have zero game and am lightyears behind. What have I been doing about it? I practice whenever possible, chatting up with as many people as i can. I'm also making more eye contact. I'm not there yet, but I'm improving! Next, I need to start implementing some Kino!
Being introverted and on the autism spectrum doesn't make this easier. However, I have a lot of knowledge about random subjects, which I can leverage as a PUA. I'm determined to turn my current weaknesses into opportunities. No excuses, no hiding behind my shortcoming. I can and will fix this.
Meanwhile, my attempts at online dating (OLD) haven’t panned out. Initially, I was clingy and insecure, overthinking everything—a total beta. Then, I realized I was becoming a beta orbiter in another situation. As soon as I recognized this, I cut ties. It was time to stop seeking validation, respect myself, and accept that my own shortcomings were to blame. Nobody to blame but myself. Later, I matched with a woman who was spinning plates hard and wanted me on her menu. Beta trap 101. I'm not on the menu. Instead, she should be on my menu. I respectfully wished her well and passed on the opportunity without being a little beta about it. I'm learning, and that’s a good thing.
Lately, I tried something new: I hit the club solo. After a few beers, I genuinely enjoyed the moment, dancing to some techno. Then two women introduced themselves to me and showed IOIs. That's when it hit me... i was a CHAD at that moment, i was having fun, wasnt trying. trying is for betas. I did not pursue, I was there for my own pleasure, I am in monk mode. Nonetheless, a very valuable lesson presented itself to me...
I lift weights four times a week and have made my own routine, pushing hard towards my goals. I'm not just building muscle; I'm crafting a new ethos for myself. I've made significant progress, and luckily, I have decent genetics. I've gained about 15 pounds of muscle in the last four months while losing heaps of fat. Actually in decent shape now! I have a strict but balanced routine. In another two months, I'll be in very good shape. But it's whatever, if I suck at other shit it doesnt matter how chiseled i look anyway.
For now, I’m keeping things low-key. Focus on friends, family and being a parent. But I’m learning, practicing, observing, like a Shaolin Monk, ready to strike when the time is right Like a goddamn wolf, and I am about to become a master of enjoying life as I shape it, while straight-up slaying like the Alpha I am.
For context, my ex and I have a kid. We interact in a mature and professional manner. The main reason I decided to work out, by the way, is that I wanted to be a healthy parent. I've also quit smoking for eight months now.
TL;DR Beta orbiter working his way up to Alpha, leveraging valuable TRP Sidebar insights, lifting plates, and setting the stage to dominate.
First-light 6mo ago
This all sounds great. Congratulations. You are definitely doing it the right way by concentrating on yourself and letting the women come your way not a lot of thirsty chasing.
The only thing I would add is don't go too hard against your nature. I am not saying that you are but don't try to fix your nature, optimise it. A lot of quieter guys try hard to be extroverts without realising they basically don't like it. (I was guilty of this at one point). Our innate character is both our strength and our weakness. We must not hid behind our weaknesses but if we try too hard to go against our character and become something else, we can lose contact with our strengths. You will always be naturally introverted and have some autistic tendencies (its a crap label that one but it does give one some insight). To be able to mix freely with the crowd who are not like this is a big win but if you sought out only that crowd or sought women from that crowd for LTRs, you would end up denying your strengths. You also risk being beta by trying not to be -trying to make yourself into the perfect Chad to please a woman not optimise yourself. You could end up without getting a woman who will naturally please you -who you can just be your dam self around and be accepted for.
Well done with the good work.
Broteine 6mo ago
You’re right, I'm definitely not going to force myself to be something I’m not. I know I'm a solid guy, and I’m honest about my mistakes and always owning up to my shit, even if its hard. I will never compromise my own values.
I get what you're saying about playing to my strengths instead of just fixing my flaws. I like to think I am a diamond in the rough, but I'm due for some thorough and serious polishing, lol. Ill get there thanks to you and the awesome advice from you all here.
Any succes in the romatic area LTR or casual, wont be a main goal, but rather outcomes of the hard work I'm going to be putting in. I’m all about being my authentic self on this journey. If I risk being alone in order to stay authentic, then so be it!
Appreciate it brother!
Durek_The_Bald 6mo ago
It's only a trap if you mistake one category of woman for another. Separate between who you'll fuck, and who you'll potentially take more seriously, and you're good. Some women (a lot of women) are only there to serve as a steady supply of sex as you're looking for other women. And having a steady supply of sex is good for a lot of things game-wise.
Broteine 6mo ago
I miscategorized her as something serious, but she was just stacking dudes for different favors: one for chores, another for dinners. The prospect of getting laid was tempting, but I gotta hold my frame strong. So, I nexted her. Why? Because I'm not some beta handyman trading screwdriver skills for scraps of affection. Maintaining my standards means not settling for being just another option in her rotation.
Durek_The_Bald 6mo ago
I would argue that a better exercise for your frame would be to try to fuck her, but without doing her any favours/chores. Women fuck the guys who don't simp for them, and that's a valuable experience to have first-hand.
Favours, chores, simping, jumping through hoops, orbiting, friendzoning etc...you always have a choice with that. Men in such predicaments are there because they choose to, not because women make them. It's not like you stick your dick in someone, and now you're there. Rather the opposite: Men who're there rarely stick their dicks in anything.
Like I said, some women are for "this", and some women are for "that". But you're not doing yourself any favours by turning down a lay (that you wanted, mind you) just in case it'll somehow turn you into an übersimp.
Check out The Rational Male (first book), and specifically the part about "buffers". Because this sounds like a buffer to me ("I'm not going to try to break her rules and fuck her, because she's collecting orbiters elsewhere, and she's not a potential girlfriend").
Even if you are looking for something "serious"(nothing wrong with that), it's good for you to have a couple of women you just fuck, and don't consider for anything more. Because, having that basic need met (sex) makes you more calm and collected when dealing with other women, women you might take more seriously. It's never a good thing to come from a position of need, and that's what sluts are for.
Maturin_nj 6mo ago
Nice. You don't do favors andbecome the reliable handyman. The matriarcy depends upon the willingness of an endless supply of male drones to voluntarily serve the female agenda. In return these guys get nothing back except maybe hope.
Check out two more books. The predatory female - Rev Shannon. And this on will help a lot. The stuff on female self esteem and vetting women is gold. Female Psychology for the practical man - Joe south. Can download it.
whytehorse2021 6mo ago
I like your attitude so I'm going to fast-track you. Here's a book I wrote with all the science behind everything social with neurotypicals: https://www.amazon.com/Social-Autist-Autists-Allocentric-Universe-ebook/dp/B09JSQ42TR
It's basically a cheat code so you don't have to use trial-and-error anymore. Red pill for autistic people, if you will. FYI I'm autistic and spent 4 years doing the research for that book.
Another fast track tip is a reading sequence of red pill books:
Manipulated Male, Polygamous Sex, and Das Ende der Dressur (The End of Manipulation) by Esther Vilar.
Rational Male series by Rollo Tomassi.
Sex God Method by Daniel Rose
Finally, we have a new type of "game" evolving that uses social media to bypass female selection criteria of social proof and preselection(mate choice copying). The guys over at MOA will help you get your instagram spot on and set up a marketing funnel for women. Just try to find the example instagram posts and copy the script. Then ask them fto critique it. https://www.skool.com/men-of-action-free oh here's the example post https://www.skool.com/men-of-action-free/instagram-testimonials
Broteine 6mo ago
Thank you my man! Ive noted these books down! When I got the time I will check them out! I also took a quick look at those Instagram accounts you mentioned, and wow, that’s quite the scene! It seems like some guys might be skipping their gym sessions, huh? They don't really look like they belong in those settings, lol. Wouldn't you agree? But its good to know whats out there honestly! You never know and might give it a shot! :-)
whytehorse2021 6mo ago
Instagram: It's all fake. You just go around to the top 20 instagram selfie places and take photos. Walk into a 5 star hotel take a photo. Go to a ferrari dealer, snap a photo. Go to a fashion show with models, snap a photo. Chicks go to your instagram and think you're some rich guy that other women want to bang.
You might also utilize the forums. Today I learned from them how to get a million views using instagram reels. Anyway, some of those books I listed are real quick reads. You can get some on audio books and listen while you work out or drive if that's your thing.
Broteine 6mo ago
But what's the point? When she sees my 2004 Toyota, the gig's up. I need to keep it real.
whytehorse2021 6mo ago
Nope. I had a friend that didn't even have a car, no job, and lived with his mom... all the hot chicks were fucking him.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
Good shit man, you are hitting your new life with the right attitude. I'm also early 30s autism spectrum so this is actually pretty good.
Looking forward to seeing your progress on here
Broteine 6mo ago
Thanks, man! I appreciate it! I will definitely be posting updates later! I'll probably be staying a monk for a while still! There's still enough work to be done "under the hood," if you catch my drift. How was your experiense turning potential downsides of being on 'a spectrum' into upsides? Can you remember a specific turning point?
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
You should like you are learning fast.
Top tip - stop calling yourself autistic or introverted. These are just labels.
Genearlly speaking, the hardest prisons to get out of are the ones we build for ourselves. Stop creating barriers to your own progress.
Have a sit down with yourself and think about this - and then stand up and tell yourself that you will never call yourself autistic or introverted again. Set yourself free from this b/s
Broteine 6mo ago
Hey, you're right. Everyone's got their own quirks and stuff. And guess what? I totally agree with you. I'm a lone wolf, and I don't give a damn about what others think or say about me. Never have, never will. I own my frame.
Maybe it's more like, I'm naturally more like that. But if you can work on and change those things (and actually make progress), were you ever really autistic or introverted in the first place? I guess the answer to that is no.
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
Good to hear. I'm a bit of lone wolf myself, I understand the need for solitude. I also love company and proper conversations, but I can't be doing with 'night life' and shit like that.
I see so many guys (on this forum) and IRL who have been damaged by labels - they start talking about 'their anxiety / anxious attachment etc etc and they build their own prison because of some fraudulent 'diagnosis'. The therapy industrial complex has a lot to answer for.
The answer is to build your own social networks / friendship groups. Make sure you get what you need, in terms of friendship, society, education, company, inspiration, exercise, diet, sleep.
And if you do? You'll see all your problems drift away. Focus on creating a good life for yourself.
Maturin_nj 6mo ago
You understand the beta pitfalls. So all good there. The real trap is being BP. that may be where your original problems lie. The BP spell must be obliterated before completing your journey of putting yourself in control. You can't fall back into your old BP mindset. Beta orbiter at 33 is about as bad as it gets. So great job at handling that shit. Dont ever let it happen again. No Friendzone shit either. Orbitor and FZ is for very low ranked guys. Just a reminder I'm sure your aware of that.
New rules: you have principles that these chick's need to meet. You don't bend to them. No big upfront investment. Never qualify yourself to woman. She better be meeting you a minimum of half way in effort or next her. Learn to dump them without hesitation the way they dump you. Ghost them. No explanations required. Learn No contact and use it. Withdraw attention. A good attitude from m'lady is mandatory from the get-go. Can't emphasize how integral this is.
Broteine 6mo ago
Thank you, bro! Breaking free from that blue pill spell has been a total game changer. Can't believe I didn't see reality earlier. All that BP nonsense was holding me back, making me act like a BIG FAT BETA. At the time, I hadn't discovered TRP, but I sure as hell felt something was wrong. Once I read about TRP, everything fell into place, and now I know why.
Now, that I'm in monk mode, working my ass off, and people are starting to notice. Im upgrading myself. Leveling up. Things will change.
Regarding that chick I was tempted to orbit, I ghosted her. Completely cut her off. She tried reaching out, but there’s no way I’m falling back into orbiting. Ever.
It’s on my terms now, or it’s nothing. I’m setting new rules and living by them. We’re running the show now, not them. I didn't even know about TRP back then, but now that I understand, I see, I was programmed as a beta. Not for long, though.
Thank you for these rules, I will definitely apply your advice!