This guy just explains what it is like to be married. The vast majority of women just simply won't want to have sex with their husbands.
I put that in italics because that is the bit that most people leave out. They say that women 'go off sex' as they get older / have kids / get busy with their career etc. No. They don't go off sex. They go off sex with their husbands.
It's not the man they don't desire, its the role. Husbands are not for sex. Husbands are for providing. Those are different things. Many men (including myself) develop deep seated insecurities simply because of being married. Because being married entails giving eveything to a woman who will then turn around and give you nothing.
And duty / pity sex is not what we want.
Women don't want sex with husbands in the same way they don't want sex with their fathers - fathers are for providing, just like husbands.
Yup. It's most probably an incest-avoidance evolutionary adaptation. There was a lot of in&band, incestuous sex in our early ancestors, so too much intimacy and the ick is activated in the wife.
There is this Russian TV show called To The Lake about this blended family trying to get to a lake cabin to hide out during an apocalyptic plague and the breakdown of society. The main guy is traveling with both his ex-wife and current wife and both girls end up having a heart to heart talk. The Ex confessed that she lost he libido and stopped having sex with her husband that the current wife is a husband stealer that swooped in. Then she has a moment of honesty and says "I should have just fucked my husband."
I guess this is the latest crisis popping up on the internet forums. Men pulling the plug on the marriage because of no sex and the freakout of the wife and how suddenly she turns back on her sex drive when she looks at the numbers and finds out no more resources.
If so, his post isn't a great example of it. There's a lot of unattractive, blue pill conditioning to unpack there. I give it two years tops, and he's going to be in another dead bedroom with his new girlfriend.
that may be. It's the role and the behaviour of the man that give them the ick.
For a truly damaged woman (and i think most of them are), a man that is devoted enough to marry a woman is basically proof that he is beta. it works like this - essentially, damaged sluts believe deep down that they are worthless (usually with good reason). So if a man is infatuated with her, he knows that he is by extension, worthless.
If you fall in love with a worthless slut, she will know that you are worthless pos, and she will lose all respect for you. to her, any man that would marry her is beta.
I can really see it boiling down to that. How does she perceive you? It doesn't matter who you are, but how she feels about you and who you are - since female reality is less about objective truth and more about feelings.
I infer then that, while being seen as a father/husband is not bad per se, it cannot be your sole identity. She has to see you as more than that. I remember reading a long time ago a woman explaining her experience in a date with a doctor. He was your typical nice guy - nice to talk to, pleasant enough - but didn't provoke her tingles. She was pretty determined to not have a second date, but he got paged, and she went with him (I don't remember if he was her ride or what else). Well, once he got into the hospital, he started barking orders - no time to think, just action. After seing how in control he was, she turned to wanting him bad.
The reason why she wanted him was because he was no longer focused on her. he was working, showing skill ignoring her. that made her panties wet. This is why women have such hot fantasies about their favourite celeb / pop star - because the pop star never looks at them, never give them attention. They don't even see the woman, so the woman experiences the delicious tingle of rejection from the object of her desire.
This isn't the case with my wife. What happens to men when they reproduce is their brains rewire to become paternal and develop oneitis. This is great for everyone because it ensures the survival of the mother and consequently the offspring of the father.
A lot of guys get stuck in that paternal oneitis and let the woman lead through her frame. Then they become a beta orbiter and end up with a dead bedroom. Maybe develop a dad bod. And then the woman loses desire.
So the trick is to maintain a masculine frame in marriage. This is usually accomplished with religion but now we can do it with red pill theory.
So my advice for the OP is to keep his GF and fuck his wife on the side. The GF created dread and the wife created pre-selection. It's the best of both worlds. In the old days a man would just get a mistress and remain married but separated. In his case the daughters, at that age, will be raised 90% by the mother and only 10% by the father. If they were boys they should be raised 90% by him.
Maybe develop a dad bod. And then the woman loses desire.
You still have not got it. it's not the dad bod that is causing the dry pussy. It's the fact that he is loving and caring for her - that is what give women the ick.
You are basically blaming men here for dead bedrooms - its not the mans fault - it is the preference of women that causes dead bedrooms. Women are excited by bad boys that treat them like shit. And giving them all your time, affection, resources and atttention is the opposite of the bad boy expereince. It totally dries the pussy.
Well, I think we're both right. I have to bad boy up every so often to keep from having a dead bedroom, but the majority of the time I just maintain my masculine frame in the relationship.
And tbh, you are man shaming when you say that women go off the man when he develops a dad bod.
It seems you're still confusing which rules are in effect at which forum.
"No shaming men for any reason" is rule 1 at WAATGM and WATGMA, and our mod team strictly enforces it.
There is no such rule at TRP or askTRP.
And he's partly right: we can't expect our wives to be viscerally attracted to us if we allow ourselves to become dumpy shlubs.
It's not necessarily a still-plugged-in man's fault that he thinks his wife will love him unconditionally even if he lets himself go; he's been lied to his entire life.
But worrying about "fault" (as in your other reply to him) is mostly for children. Once we recognize a problem which is within our control, it behooves us to fix it rather than ruminate about "fault".
God knows I've wasted a good bit of time on that in my journey.
BUT ... I am simply pushing back on the concept that its mens fault that women don't desire their husbands. Men are gaslit into believing it is somehow their fault that their wives don't want them. And they go pound the gym, buy a porsche and do all sorts of other stuff in their mid life crisis, which is born out of the fact that they are wildly successful but somehow still an incel.
The truth is that it is not the fault of the man - it is because he married her. Marrying a woman is enough to dry out the panties. It doesn't matter if you are Brad Pitt - if you marry a broken woman (a tingles addict) she is not going to want to fuck Brad pitt.
This guy was raised to be a pay pig, seeing as his own mother sold him out for her own gain. Why this man puts up with these selfish narcissistic women is beyond me
His daughters have no hope either as there's no way the selfish wife and mother will allow him to raise his daughters right. The daughters will inevitably become selfish alpha widows just like the other women in the family.
i just want to stress the fact that his own mother (i.e. his own flesh and blood, and allegedly the closest person to any human in this life) ganged up on him with his wife (a stranger, compared to her son at least). granted, we don't know whether he eventually told his mom his side of the story, but i believe it's his mother's prerogative to ask for it, or try and defend her child (allegedly the most imporant thing in a woman's life).
if this bypassing of the mother-child bond in favor of the female imperative doesn't make one question the value of marriage (or relationships in general), then i don't know what will
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
Reason I posted this:
This guy just explains what it is like to be married. The vast majority of women just simply won't want to have sex with their husbands.
I put that in italics because that is the bit that most people leave out. They say that women 'go off sex' as they get older / have kids / get busy with their career etc. No. They don't go off sex. They go off sex with their husbands.
It's not the man they don't desire, its the role. Husbands are not for sex. Husbands are for providing. Those are different things. Many men (including myself) develop deep seated insecurities simply because of being married. Because being married entails giving eveything to a woman who will then turn around and give you nothing.
And duty / pity sex is not what we want.
Women don't want sex with husbands in the same way they don't want sex with their fathers - fathers are for providing, just like husbands.
adam-l Senior Endorsed 4mo ago
Yup. It's most probably an incest-avoidance evolutionary adaptation. There was a lot of in&band, incestuous sex in our early ancestors, so too much intimacy and the ick is activated in the wife.
Seagram7 4mo ago
There is this Russian TV show called To The Lake about this blended family trying to get to a lake cabin to hide out during an apocalyptic plague and the breakdown of society. The main guy is traveling with both his ex-wife and current wife and both girls end up having a heart to heart talk. The Ex confessed that she lost he libido and stopped having sex with her husband that the current wife is a husband stealer that swooped in. Then she has a moment of honesty and says "I should have just fucked my husband."
I made a similar post about this topic: https://www.forums.red/p/whereareallthegoodmen/322860/listen_up_you_misogynist_sexist_men_women_do_not_owe_you_sex/7847005/
I guess this is the latest crisis popping up on the internet forums. Men pulling the plug on the marriage because of no sex and the freakout of the wife and how suddenly she turns back on her sex drive when she looks at the numbers and finds out no more resources.
Durek_The_Bald 4mo ago
If so, his post isn't a great example of it. There's a lot of unattractive, blue pill conditioning to unpack there. I give it two years tops, and he's going to be in another dead bedroom with his new girlfriend.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
that may be. It's the role and the behaviour of the man that give them the ick.
For a truly damaged woman (and i think most of them are), a man that is devoted enough to marry a woman is basically proof that he is beta. it works like this - essentially, damaged sluts believe deep down that they are worthless (usually with good reason). So if a man is infatuated with her, he knows that he is by extension, worthless.
If you fall in love with a worthless slut, she will know that you are worthless pos, and she will lose all respect for you. to her, any man that would marry her is beta.
Impressive-Cricket-8 4mo ago
There should be a list of RP one liners.
I can really see it boiling down to that. How does she perceive you? It doesn't matter who you are, but how she feels about you and who you are - since female reality is less about objective truth and more about feelings.
I infer then that, while being seen as a father/husband is not bad per se, it cannot be your sole identity. She has to see you as more than that. I remember reading a long time ago a woman explaining her experience in a date with a doctor. He was your typical nice guy - nice to talk to, pleasant enough - but didn't provoke her tingles. She was pretty determined to not have a second date, but he got paged, and she went with him (I don't remember if he was her ride or what else). Well, once he got into the hospital, he started barking orders - no time to think, just action. After seing how in control he was, she turned to wanting him bad.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
great anecdote.
The reason why she wanted him was because he was no longer focused on her. he was working, showing skill ignoring her. that made her panties wet. This is why women have such hot fantasies about their favourite celeb / pop star - because the pop star never looks at them, never give them attention. They don't even see the woman, so the woman experiences the delicious tingle of rejection from the object of her desire.
whytehorse2021 4mo ago
This isn't the case with my wife. What happens to men when they reproduce is their brains rewire to become paternal and develop oneitis. This is great for everyone because it ensures the survival of the mother and consequently the offspring of the father.
A lot of guys get stuck in that paternal oneitis and let the woman lead through her frame. Then they become a beta orbiter and end up with a dead bedroom. Maybe develop a dad bod. And then the woman loses desire.
So the trick is to maintain a masculine frame in marriage. This is usually accomplished with religion but now we can do it with red pill theory.
So my advice for the OP is to keep his GF and fuck his wife on the side. The GF created dread and the wife created pre-selection. It's the best of both worlds. In the old days a man would just get a mistress and remain married but separated. In his case the daughters, at that age, will be raised 90% by the mother and only 10% by the father. If they were boys they should be raised 90% by him.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
You write
Maybe develop a dad bod. And then the woman loses desire.
You still have not got it. it's not the dad bod that is causing the dry pussy. It's the fact that he is loving and caring for her - that is what give women the ick.
You are basically blaming men here for dead bedrooms - its not the mans fault - it is the preference of women that causes dead bedrooms. Women are excited by bad boys that treat them like shit. And giving them all your time, affection, resources and atttention is the opposite of the bad boy expereince. It totally dries the pussy.
whytehorse2021 4mo ago
Well, I think we're both right. I have to bad boy up every so often to keep from having a dead bedroom, but the majority of the time I just maintain my masculine frame in the relationship.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
you still haven't got it. And tbh, you are man shaming when you say that women go off the man when he develops a dad bod.
You haven't got it. Women go off men when they prove to the woman that they are not one of the bad boyz, by marrying the woman
You can take the exact same guy, and have him behave two different ways;
1 - he is a selfish asshole, treats her like shit, never calls her, fucks her best friend and lies to her. Result = wet panties
It is the role, the behaviour that determines the dampness of the pants. Same guy, different results. It's not the dad bod.
Women want men that will treat them like the dog shit that they are. if you won't do it, they'll find someone else who will.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 4mo ago
It seems you're still confusing which rules are in effect at which forum.
"No shaming men for any reason" is rule 1 at WAATGM and WATGMA, and our mod team strictly enforces it.
There is no such rule at TRP or askTRP.
And he's partly right: we can't expect our wives to be viscerally attracted to us if we allow ourselves to become dumpy shlubs.
It's not necessarily a still-plugged-in man's fault that he thinks his wife will love him unconditionally even if he lets himself go; he's been lied to his entire life.
But worrying about "fault" (as in your other reply to him) is mostly for children. Once we recognize a problem which is within our control, it behooves us to fix it rather than ruminate about "fault".
God knows I've wasted a good bit of time on that in my journey.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
sure, in agreement...
BUT ... I am simply pushing back on the concept that its mens fault that women don't desire their husbands. Men are gaslit into believing it is somehow their fault that their wives don't want them. And they go pound the gym, buy a porsche and do all sorts of other stuff in their mid life crisis, which is born out of the fact that they are wildly successful but somehow still an incel.
The truth is that it is not the fault of the man - it is because he married her. Marrying a woman is enough to dry out the panties. It doesn't matter if you are Brad Pitt - if you marry a broken woman (a tingles addict) she is not going to want to fuck Brad pitt.
That is the truth I am trying to describe.
wswZtyqNGQ 4mo ago
This guy was raised to be a pay pig, seeing as his own mother sold him out for her own gain. Why this man puts up with these selfish narcissistic women is beyond me
His daughters have no hope either as there's no way the selfish wife and mother will allow him to raise his daughters right. The daughters will inevitably become selfish alpha widows just like the other women in the family.
prapra-horse 4mo ago
sound like 'I asked her what should I do'
he doesn't know that yet, but he is already in downward spiral
AbusiveFather1 4mo ago
i just want to stress the fact that his own mother (i.e. his own flesh and blood, and allegedly the closest person to any human in this life) ganged up on him with his wife (a stranger, compared to her son at least). granted, we don't know whether he eventually told his mom his side of the story, but i believe it's his mother's prerogative to ask for it, or try and defend her child (allegedly the most imporant thing in a woman's life).
if this bypassing of the mother-child bond in favor of the female imperative doesn't make one question the value of marriage (or relationships in general), then i don't know what will
prapra-horse 4mo ago
that's the future of RP:
1) 10 red flags of your mother,
2) is my mother narcissistic,
3) do green flags outweigh red ones,
4) I'm 12 my mother still tells me to come and sleep with her - is it normal,
5) forget about chicks and gym - grind 24/7 and move out ASAP - otherwise your mother will destroy you,
6) my mother see different guy every day and they clap a lot in living room - is it safe to go and get the milk
7) urgent update: my mother invites me and my mate to sleep with her in a bed tonight
8) how do I avoid eye contact with my mother while she is getting railed on the sofa