Men, in case some of you haven't clued in yet, do not ever rely on reddit for any kind of serious relationship advice. At best, some users are good at providing steps for dating successfully. But beyond that, forget it. I have lost count of the number of times I've seen people in all sorts of different mature dating or relationships subs ask for help for a genuine problem they're having and some of the stupidest replies proceed to follow. I'd like to outline a few things to easily identify issues:

• The sub itself is pretty active and practically every topic gets 100+ replies, getting 500 replies on a weekly basis being fairly normal. Seriously - what can a person do with 100+ replies, let alone 500? That number of replies is going to be all over the place and when the numbers build up to several hundred, it's nothing more than people who are so focused on social media posting their inane yammerings because they are so hooked on it. It's more important for them to contribute crap that most likely helps no one than thinking critically about the problem. Sure you'll have a couple of decent replies in there, but 500? I feel terrible for some people posting about actual marital problems hoping that reddit can steer a course during a rough patch. This is absolute ridiculousness.

• The vast majority of all advice given on the entirety of reddit boils down to 2 things: go to therapy, and end the relationship. Redditors seem to have a hard-on for throwing out therapy everywhere. Having been to therapists myself at different points in my life while I can agree therapists do provide a valuable service to some people, they are not some universal solution and there are bad therapists out there. People must have a goal when entering therapy and I never continue seeing one who doesn't agree with it because they just want to drag it out indefinitely. There have been redditors on here who admit to having been in therapy for years, do you really think I'd take advice from them? As far as the ending the relationship, people will utilize anything to justify their response, always telling the user who posted that they deserve better, they should know their worth, life's too short to be unhappy, etc. While on the surface these justifications sound good, it's a very weak position because they aren't really interested in putting in any effort to better understand the OP's problem and have only a bit of information to go off of, which brings me to the next point.

• Any time a user posts some kind of relationship problem, always always ALWAYS remember that you're only getting one side of the story no matter how objective it may be worded. Hardly anyone who replies ever takes this into consideration and usually just reinforces whatever the OP is thinking or feeling and remember feelings can change rapidly from day to day if the person in question is letting their feelings do the thinking for them rather than their own brain.

• Many redditors who are regular users already are what you'd consider fringe aspects of the population. I mean you only have to look at some of the weirdest subs hosted here to see this and see how active they are. But when you get so many of them in one place it makes it seem and feel as if it's the norm. It isn't. This is why it's important for people to go outside, socialize with others in your normal daily life to better understand and appreciate what a "normal" baseline for life is. Beware of anyone who talks in generalizations and posts to these types of threads who claim "all X are Y" when in fact you know that those X people you meet in daily life are nothing like the Y they described.

• Something useful to keep in mind is that the majority of people suck at communicating. A lot of relationship problems can be resolved not with communication, but with effective communication. Much like a lot of users who post their lamentations about not getting any dates, people will advise them they need to get out more and socialize because social skills are muscles too and if you don't exercise them, they will atrophy. The same thing applies here. Think about it this way - ever met someone in your life who just talks a lot and won't shut up? Even if they're actually sticking to the topic at hand they are overly wordy thinking that they're communicating well because they're saying a lot of words. It gets tiresome very quickly just listening to them. They are not effective communicators. Now take some politician, doesn't matter who, doesn't matter what party, doesn't matter what your politics are. They have to give speeches to large audiences not just in person but potentially millions watching on tv. Their message has to be clear and concise so that many people can understand what they are trying to say. This would be an example of someone who is communicating effectively. Yeah I know all politicians lie but that's another topic.

• Stop being lazy. Most people are just plain lazy and that applies to dating/relationships. They expect the other person to make the first move, take the initiative, do all the work, etc. Quite often you are the only person standing in the way of your own success. Someone who has goals in their life is more attractive than someone who just wakes up every day to sit on their ass with no plan for anything, and this goes for both sexes.

• Remember that you can control yourself. So much "advice" and responses I read rely upon trying to force changes or some kind of ultimatum on another person. For all we know the OP cannot exert control of their own self.

• For the men here I'm condensing down the excess bullshit and noise of how to better interact with women to help improve your results if you're single. First, women are attracted to men based on physical appearance. I was told this lie back during the 70s/80s/90s that women aren't attracted to looks so much. So maintain good hygiene, a nice haircut, and dress neat and this will help you. Second, women like muscles. They like it because it looks good on a man and they like to feel secure and protected. You do NOT have to be some shredded bodybuilder, you do NOT have to be a gym rat, you do NOT have to make gym/weight lifting your life. Do this physical activity consistently for your own health and well-being and do this regularly for months/years. Always remember that a fit body will never go out of style at any age. Third, be confident in how you move in life. This naturally carries over into all aspects of your daily life if you embrace it and women love a confident man because it exudes leadership qualities. Fourth, for men at more advanced stages, women inherently hate it if a man has choices and options in the dating realm. It's true that those same women will tend to find such a man more attractive if they know other women are interested in him. But they hate it because women are used to being the ones to have the luxury of choices among different men who show interest in them. But with great power also comes great responsibility so if you ever get to this position know exactly what your goal is and don't let yourself be swayed from that goal.

He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior. -Confucius