Context:(english not my native language) This post feels all over the place,I gotta get used to writing more so bear with me.

Me(26)Illegal immigrant in PTY,moved to a house with about 15-20 people for 2 years. I was in a foreign country in a better situation than my shithole homeland.Most women met were completely looking for the money guy.One got pregnant while there,the other moved with one of the guys.One was married.Some lived there for short times And one was an unofficial hooker.This post is about how my friendship to this non-hooker and immersion in the meat market along with forced interactions in social dynamics helped me through divorce and avoiding the black pill/anger phase.This non-hooker always had older men around to buy her stuff,sometimes bought us beer,she got plenty of gifts,like a set of weights she was glad to share with us.

I was single for the first time in 8 faithful years,and wanted to fuck something real bad.My first target was one of these girls hooker wannabe,she made me go through endless hoops but always made sure in the end to let me know i had no money.The others that came and went were either taken or fully into gold digging mode, always going out to bars and hookerish stuff. The rest were not for me except the hooker that became a dear friend until i moved away.

During that time she befriended everyone,the kindest person there.She was about 34 petite,small tits and a beautiful ass.Gave little pecks to a couple of us that werent thirsty,as most of em were betastasized and drooled for her,she rewarded alpha traits like ignoring her beauty and not buying her stuff.She slept(never fucked any of us) on a room with 7 guys.I was in a room with 4 other guys, she spent a night with me once where i was relieved to sleep with one hand on a womans tit and my hard cock rubbing against her butt.

During those 2 years I never spent money on her,more like with her,we shared food,drinks,stories, worked out together, helped each other out with paperwork and everything.And she always made sure,as the hottest girl there, to put me on top on the hierarchy of guys there.Im a horny guy but never thirsty.I gave her back rubs(im told im good at it) in front of everyone and she moaned loudly when i did, some full body massages with oil got very sexual,and we usually had a crowd of drooly guys and a few girls just watching us and listening to her moaning when I massaged her body, i took it as a life test of horniness because i always knew it would go nowhere with her.

This lady was not only a friend,she was giving me something else,she was useful,gave me social proof and value amongst those guys who grew either jealous or respectful towards me (based only on sexualit) I didnt care about any of those guys, some of them stuck together like in high school,I of course tried to get along with all of them,as much as possible.

I got used to female and male attention,i was an illegal immigrant,broke,horny but never stopped dating and trying to hook up as long as I had the money and time.Also tried to make friends with everyone. I had found TRP about a year earlier, and was well aware of what was going on,I wasnt the "alpha" male of the overpopulated house,but i know it was the closest experience of what being "alpha" id ever been at the time.

Where am I getting with sharing this life experience?

Go out,have fun,experience,live,touch,dare,keep trying, dont disregard red pill theory,just dont become a robot about seduction.And most important,dont hate women,dont hate the market and dont hate society. Get used to unfair situations, get used to AWALT. Dont let hate stop you from moving forward,anger phase is real and many guys get stuck there for sure.

With my mindless flirting,girls leading me on,being horny and only getting a massage, gold diggers everywhere, watching girls pick other guys but me, I had a thousand reasons for getting angry at society,at women,at men,at my living conditions,at the sexual market,at hookers and gold diggers.

I was forced to be around people, you're probably not forced though, so you gotta push it and talk to everyone,flirt a lot,sometimes shit where you eat,dont lose focus,understand why things happen and how you can fit into every dynamic.

Those experiences helped me tremendously to develop some compassion,even towards myself,and not be the guy stuck in an anger phase that hates everyone because he got turned down by everyone,or because some things are completely out of reach.

Hopefully, you are in anger phase and find determination to get rid of that,and this post helps you.