[I wrote this for my sobriety newsletter and thought it may be of value to some people on here. Depending on alcohol to get you through social situations, interactions with women, and difficult emotions will only turn on you in the end. Every time you use the crutch of drinking, you cheat yourself a little more each time of the maturity and courage you would naturally build. I fell into this trap badly and have since recovered, I now enjoy sharing my experiences.]

Drinking and partying, partying and drinking. Year after year goes by... What a wonderful time! A feeling so good, I never want it to leave. Mistakes are made without care, and the tongue is granted the privilege of exploring topics once too guarded to approach. Fear slips away, satisfaction flows warmly through the blood. Anxiety no longer enslaves you, and social connections become effortless. The past is forgotten, the future disregarded. The needs of others fall away—it’s my time to feel good now. Who wouldn’t want to live in this bliss forever?

But then, the mirror. When did I get a gray hair? Have I always had bags under my eyes? Do I need to trim my nose hair again? How long have I been working this job I hate? How long have I stayed with someone I don’t love anymore? These questions stir something deep, yet they’re never enough to force change. It takes something catastrophic, a stroke of luck, the right person, or the right message arriving at precisely the right time to ignite transformation. It truly is a miracle to get sober. Walking through the doors of AA and completing the steps feels like an act of grace.

With sobriety comes new rewards. Mornings become pleasant, emotional stability improves, and having God or a higher power in your life offers strength you never imagined. The program introduces you to bright, supportive people. You revel in these newfound boons.

Yet, after a year of sobriety, these gifts start to feel familiar. Not unappreciated, but no longer miraculous. It’s like someone who’s spent a lifetime in a wheelchair suddenly able to walk—awe fades into routine. As long as you don’t drink and stay in the program, you’re endowed with this ability to walk on your own. But then the question arises: what now?

This is when you begin to understand why you drank. The enormity of drinking’s role in society becomes clear. You realize you need to do something with your newfound abilities. The time and money drinking stole from you now feel like a surplus of raw energy. You recognize how high your potential is and feel the sting of wasted youth. This reclaimed time corners you into a life geared toward growth. You know you can never return to drinking—it would rob you of everything you’ve earned, most importantly your credibility. But now, you also feel a responsibility to your innermost self, the part of you that burns to fulfill your dreams. And in this understanding, you grasp why people drink.

Drinking turns off growth. Plain and simple, that’s its appeal. Growth is expensive, demanding, endless, and often painful. Without alcohol, you’re left with the void it once drowned. Instant gratification is gone. You must face the intense pains and joys of everything. No shortcuts. You confront the emptiness in your life: dissatisfaction with your job, your relationships, and the person staring back in the mirror. Every drinker reaching for another round is desperately avoiding the truth. They’re evading the relentless call to grow.

Growth, however, is a lonely business. It requires leaving people and places behind. Many aren’t ready for this journey. They resist the discomfort of breaking up, leaving the bar, or searching for new meaning. Society encourages conformity, safety in mediocrity. Most people conform to their immediate environment, whether it’s the opinions of the bar crowd, the news, or parental expectations. They avoid anything that hurts, like growth, and cling to anything that feels good, like drinking. They become unremarkable, unpurposeful generalities.

But the journey of sobriety is not one to miss. The view from the tallest trees rising above the forest is unmatched. You shed the masks you once wore to fit in with people you didn’t even like. Naturally, you repel those who would drag you down and attract those who bring truth. Nothing terrifies a sick person or an alcoholic more than the truth about themselves.

If you’re on this path, I’m proud of you. It’s not easy. Each day, you gather courage to resist the damaging persuasions of the world and yourself. You’re growing, just as I am. This growth matters more than any fleeting comfort alcohol could offer. It takes bravery to stand against those who want you to conform to mediocrity, to stay in a place that makes them feel better about their own choices.

If you’re not yet on this path, you must be close. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.

Read more on sobriety and alcoholism here at my substack. https://s0berkn1gh7.substack.com/

Stay sober my friends!