How TRP helped me get involved, expand my social circle, strengthen friendships, and boost my self-esteem to unknown heights. | TheRedPill

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How TRP helped me get involved, expand my social circle, strengthen friendships, and boost my self-esteem to unknown heights.

[deleted]

Posted 10y ago in Field Report - Permalink - Locked - 8 Views

Before I get into it, I'd just like to say that this doesn't have much to do with getting women and spinning plates. This isn't about being Alpha McThickDick and pulling women left and right. Instead it's about discovering my self-absorbed, pessimistic mindset, how it was holding my life back, and how discovering TRP and changing my attitude helped me get back on the road to happiness and success.

For a bit of backstory, I'm a sophomore in college studying Accounting, Finance, and Spanish. I discovered TRP about 6 months ago, and after lurking for so long I finally created my first Reddit account just for this sub.

In my days before TRP, specifically my freshman year in college, I had, quite possibly, the shittiest attitude in the world. I was narcissistic, thought I was somehow above other people intellectually, and all around avoided excessive social interaction with these people I deemed below me. I rarely exercised, not becoming severely overweight (5'11", 190 lbs with a BMI of 26, 25+ is overweight), but not at all muscular or fit.

This put myself in a terrible position. I skipped most of my University's "Welcome Week," commuted instead of lived on campus, and barely initiated conversation with anyone in my classes. I would stay at home, play computer games, and only go hang out with the few friends from high school that were still nearby. Meanwhile, I was under the impression that this inactive, antisocial lifestlye would eventually culminate into the success, friendships, and love life I had always imagined. After all, everyone deserves a fairy-tale ending to their life, right?

Wrong.

Coming up to the end of the school year, I realized what a terrible spot I had put myself in. I hadn't made a single new friend, and my smarter-than-thou laziness landed me with a GPA of 3.28 (I know that might not seem bad, but it came from easy-A entry-level classes where I just blew off all homework as "busy work." I should have done better.) To make matters worse, I still lived at home, and I realized how terribly bleak my situation really was.

Lo and behold, after scouring the internet for ways to better my self-esteem and gain confidence, I discovered The Red Pill. I had mild success with girls in high school, having a few sexual encounters, but that had tapered off, so the eye-opening advice that TRP offered enticed me. I soon discovered, though, that TRP is much more than just advice on how to score, it contained a plethora of ways to become a better, more respectable man.

I took these lessons to heart, and over the summer I went full-on monk mode. I began lifting 3-4 times a week with cardio sprinkled in. I wrote down my goals for the upcoming school year, which were to get involved, be sociable, and work as hard as I fucking could to better my academic and social life.

September rolls around, and I was as ready as I could have been. I had lost nearly all of the flabbiness in my body, and started to see some meaningful gains from lifting. I talked to everyone in my classes, asked/answered questions in class, chatted with strangers in lectures of 500 students, and made more friends than I could have imagined. I also became more involved, becoming an undergrad representative for two business school organizations and volunteering as a tutor in adult education classes for Spanish speakers learning English.

All of this has led to me feeling 100 times better than before. I’ve become good friends with a dude I met in one of my classes and his roommates, and we’re getting a new place come January. Recruiters and professors give me very positive feedback on my level of involvement. As a cherry on top, my game has started to blossom, and I’ve been on a handful of dates and fucked a couple of girls in the last 4 months.

I’m still a long way from being the man I can be, but I’ll be damned if I don’t feel very happy to see myself finally taking steps in the right direction. Slowly but surely I hope to chip away at my major character flaws. I’m going to continue to constantly work on improving myself, and work as hard as I can to create the future life I want.

Yeah, it’s a wall of text, but I wanted to give an example of how TRP can help you hit the ground running with more than just your sex life. Hopefully some of the new guys who are looking for somewhere to start will find something useful in this, and hopefully you veterans can appreciate it, too. The road ahead is long and tireless, but now I feel ready to face it. Thank you TRP, and thank you guys for reading.

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brannana 10y ago

I am, or rather was, what you would've been had you not found TRP when you did. Your life experiences up through Freshman year of college mirror mine. You discovered TRP then. TRP didn't exist for me to find. Here's what your life would've looked like.

I hid and faked my way through the rest of college, with a steady decline in my gpa along the way. I was fortunate enough to have a girlfriend, even though she went to college 500 miles away. Half of each college year was spent working in the "real" world, and I managed to score a job only about 2 hours away from her. So, for 6 months out of the year, I lived with her on weekends, and hid, alone, in my apartment during the week. She separated from me, once, when I was becoming too clingy. Hell, she was my only social life, and that was only two days a week, of course I was clingy. That was when I first sought help for depression. Over the four remaining years of college and co-op, I went from 5'7"/135lbs to 170 lbs, and steadily gaining. I proposed to my girlfriend, she said yes. She went to grad school, and I followed, figuring job prospects would be better near where she was going than in my hometown. I was careless with money, and rang up a good bit of credit card debt behind her back. She found out 2 months before the wedding, and nearly called it off. Instead, she took over the finances, and we got back on track. We got married, bought a house, had a kid. She stayed with her first employer out of grad school, I was jumping from job to job. After our first was born, my depression deepened, my work suffered. She was getting promotions. I was getting HR warnings, and not being "picked up" when contracts changed hands. I went on medications. They did a little, but not enough. We had a second child, bought a bigger house. I landed a government job. The depression got deeper, my work suffered more. I gave up.

I wasn't going to kill myself. Not out of any concern for me, mind you, but I figured that a deeply depressed dad was better than no dad for my kids. But I sure as shooting wasn't going to lift a finger to help myself. The HR write-ups were getting more severe. My therapist had me check into a mental hospital, to "create a false bottom" for me to hit, to try to shake me out of it.

It worked, kinda. It woke me up to the very real possibility of losing my family. I tried to get back on track at work, but it was too little, too late. I ended up leaving my job "for personal reasons": the "no-fault divorce" of firings.

It's been a long, slow climb out of the pit the past 7 months. I would make progress, but my self-esteem and guilt would tear it back down time and time again. Until about a month ago. Some off-handed response to somebody's misogynistic comment on YouTube mentioned /r/TheRedPill. I popped over just to see what they were talking about.

I didn't find misogyny (ok, well, not much), I found what I needed. A manual for the modern man. Yeah, the information was scattered over dozens of blog posts, reddit threads, and others, but if you had patience, and could integrate the ideas that were in front of you, it was there. A few simple steps to incorporate into everyday life: holding frame, amused mastery, taking control of my own life.

It was like an IV drip of pure self-esteem. Even trying out small, simple things from game on my wife (hand on the back of her neck/grabbing hair while kissing, planning the evening without checking everything with her, just basic leading) have led to a far greater physical and sexual relationship with her.

Anyway, there's a snapshot of the 20 years of lousy living you missed out on by finding TRP when you did. No go out there and enjoy the life you're creating.

[deleted] 10y ago

I'm glad to hear things are on the up-and-up for you. Thank you for sharing

georgespelvin1 10y ago

Sounds like you were lucky. You're wife stayed with you through all this and now you both reap the rewards. I enjoy a story with a positive ending.

kranos33 10y ago

Have to say, your gf/wife has been great to support you so far. Not all women are cold hearted bitches, but yes, you have to pull your weight in a relationship and not rely too much on your partner.

Anyways, as the chinese saying: The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time, is today.

Glad you are turning that shit around. Hit the gym, and get a rocking body, and be the rock for the family. At the beginning it will feel like you are faking it, but eventually it will become you, and a natural thing to do.

brannana 10y ago

Glad you are turning that shit around. Hit the gym, and get a rocking body, and be the rock for the family.

Thanks! As soon as I finish rehabbing my biceps tendon, I'm back in the gym. Pushed a little too hard when I was building a stone facade for one of our fireplaces.

xcallide 10y ago

can anyone please analyze the wife's behavior in relation to AWALT?

very curious

brannana 10y ago

Best I've been able to come up with is NAWALT. I've known her since we were 6. I know every person she's ever slept with, and vice versa. No carousel riding here.

Either that, or she sacrificed her AF days for a shot at the ultimate in BB.

You make the call.

xcallide 10y ago

yeah i've been thinking along the same lines. a theory: the longer a woman stays in the AF phase, her ability to get a quality BB gradually diminishes. some women choose to get a high quality BB and leave the AF stage early on. regardless, we can still say AWALT because the temptation to get with AF is still there, just like how men find can find other women attractive. to fall back into the AF stage or for a man to cheat is a calculated risk since such action jeopardize LTR+child-raising aspirations. it is when a woman values (positive) LTR/child-raising aspirations/stability/loyalty/(negative) image/reputation that she enters the BB stage early on, and prioritizes other things above the risk of AF enjoyment. in this sense, choosing to be a BB is not completely hopeless: lots of advice on TRP help you become, if you will, the "alpha of the betas". people on TRP have said that the "perfect man" for a woman is a mix of alpha and beta, so there's that. it seems that there are two kinds: those who are primarily beta, but rise to the occasion as an alpha; and those who are primarily alpha, but rise to the occasion as a beta. you cetainly sound like the former.

but remember that all of the above is my theory: i think it is sound logic, but the rest of the sub may think otherwise. additionally, i am a relatively new member, so newbies of TRP, dont take my theories as TRP-endorsed, unless if it is. we are all searching for truth here.

zudomo 10y ago

Thank you. This perfectly expresss what TRP is for me.

I've only been coming here for a couple weeks and I put my pill date as of 6 days ago (when I actively started putting things into effect).

To me, it was always about this and not about getting women at all. I wish there was more things related to just being a better person, or living a better life, rather than getting women.

I know TRP likes to use the term SMV, but doing everything (lifting, gaining a skill, getting a good job...) is all just value in general. It doesn't have to be in regards to your value if a woman will have sex with you or not.