How often do you hear women tell you the following?
“I haven’t felt butterflies like that in years.”
“We shouldn’t be left in a room alone together.”
“Wow, how do you do that to me?”
Master the triggers for sexual attraction outlined in this article, and beautiful women you’ve just met will make the above statements regularly.
There are five elements to creating an irresistible sexual attraction: 1. Intent 2. Tension 3. Eye Contact 4. Mystery 5. Sexual conversation. Fortunately, there are simple, practical tricks you can learn that will allow you to master each of these elements with ease.
Intent
Intent can be such a murky concept. Although it might seem like you’ll have to fine-tune your chakras or meditate in a cave to master intent, it’s actually a concept grounded in human psychology. Put simply, intent is your expectation of what is going to happen in an interaction with a woman.
Intent is mostly expressed in feelings. Humans evolved mirror neurons that allow us to feel what people we interact with are feeling. This allowed people to avoid dangerous situations, if someone had a bad intent, they could feel that something was off, and so they would exercise caution in that interaction. Similarly, if you are nervous, a woman will be able to feel that, and she will assume that you must be nervous for a reason, your intent will make her lose interest in you. Conversely, if you feel confidently attracted to her, she’s much more likely to feel the same for you.
So, if you expect a girl to like you, she’s more likely to become attracted to you. How do you learn to project a strong intent? No, you don’t need to align your chakras or meditate in a cave. You can build your intent through a technique that psychologists use to treat anxiety, conscious reinterpretation.
Harvard scientists ran a study in which they caused participants to feel socially anxious by making them give a speech in front of an audience. The first group wasn’t given any special instructions, and unsurprisingly their levels of social anxiety were high and their performances suffered as a result. The second group was given a very simple exercise to practice. Whenever they felt nervous, they were to tell themselves, “I feel excited.” They were instructed to reinterpret anxiety as excitement. The audience scored the second group as performing significantly better, and participants in the second group also self-reported feeling more calm and confident.
How do you use this to change your intent? If you are nervous talking to a girl, you can do exactly what participants in the study were instructed to do, tell yourself, “I am excited.” Over time, as you practice this, your anxiety will turn into excitement, and she will feel this excitement off of you, and therefore feel more positively towards you.
But you can take this even further, when a girl makes you feel anxious, you could interpret that as nerves, but you could also interpret that as sexual attraction. In fact, the feelings people feel when they are nervous and when they are attracted to someone are almost identical: butterflies in the stomach, fast heartbeat, and even sweaty palms. If you feel that these symptoms are a bad thing, they will make you feel uncomfortable, if you feel that they are your body’s way of telling you that you should talk to someone, they will be positive. When you see a girl you like, and you feel the symptoms of attraction, tell yourself, “Damn, she’s attractive, I need to talk to her.”
One of the largest psychology studies of all time found that the most powerful trigger for attraction is the feeling of being genuinely liked by someone else. When you learn to accurately reinterpret anxiety towards a girl as attraction for her, you will allow yourself to feel more attracted to her, and as a result, she will feel more attracted to you. This is the power of a strong intent.
Sexual Tension
Negs, pushes, emotional spikes, are all techniques used to build sexual tension. Unfortunately, they are also the most misused techniques in the pickup community. I’ve floundered with these techniques many times myself, I would walk up to a girl I thought was particularly attractive, and I would start berating her with negs. I was overtly teasing her to raise my ‘perceived value’, and to make her feel a lack of validation. Suffice it to say, this didn’t build attraction, it just led to uncomfortable, and short, interactions.
Why? For any teasing technique to work, there’s an important nuance that must be understood. Before you tease, you and a woman must be in rapport for it to have a positive effect. If you and her aren’t on the same wavelength, aren’t vibing, than these techniques are meaningless.
However, if a girl is connecting with you, and then you strip her of validation, it will build a powerful sexual tension. To get her validation back, she will start to chase you. There are many lines you can use to make a girl chase you, for example, if she says she’s from California, you can say, “I hate California.” If you were already in rapport with her, this will feel invalidating, it will make her wonder if you really like her. This creates a psychological vacuum effect, to ease her discomfort, she will start to chase you and earn your validation back.
There are numerous effective techniques, the key is to only use these techniques after you’ve already built rapport with a girl. The power of this simple strategy will shock you.
Eye Contact
Eye contact can trigger attraction on its own. Famed evolutionary psychologist David Buss writes in his book, Why Women Have Sex, “In one study, forty-eight women and men came to a lab and were asked to stare into each other’s eyes while talking. The effect of mutual gaze proved powerful. Many reported that deep eye contact with an opposite-sex stranger created feelings of intense love. Another study had strangers first reveal intimate details of their lives to each other for half an hour, and then asked them to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes— without breaking eye contact or making any conversation. Participants again reported deep attraction to their study partners. Two of these total strangers even ended up getting married!”
Eye contact is powerful, but how do you improve it? Whenever you are in a location with women, improve your eye contact with this simple game. Whenever you see a woman, look at her eyes, if she doesn’t look at you, avert your gaze after 3 seconds, if she does look at you, hold eye contact until she looks away from you.
Over time, this simple technique will lead you to make powerful eye contact effortlessly in all of your interactions with women. Your ability to create attraction will be significantly magnified.
Mystery
Like intent, mystery can be a vague, hard-to-understand concept. In high school I learned that it was attractive to be mysterious, and I heard that to be mysterious meant not to talk much. So, to become mysterious, I just didn’t talk to girls. Maybe this did cause me to create an aura of mystery, but I was missing the point.
To be mysterious, you simply have to make a woman curious about you, you have to leave her with unanswered questions. Mystery is attractive because it shows that you have depth, and women get bored of the constant barrage of uninteresting, simple, guys that try to get in their pants. Show that you are different, offer her some mystery, and you will trigger attraction.
How can you do this without learning complicated routines? Say one line that she won’t be able to get out of her head. Tell her something she doesn’t usually hear, something provocative, something that will make her wonder about you.
My personal favorite line to accomplish this?
“I bet you don’t meet a guy like me every day.”
This line has an insidious effect. It proves itself true, very few men would say something so cocky, and simply saying this line proves that you are different from other guys, because other guys don’t talk like that.
This line creates mystery, because she will wonder exactly what it is that makes you different? She will want to know why you would say something like that, she will want to know why you have so much self-confidence. She’s going to want to solve this mystery, and the only way to do so, is to spend more time with you.
Sexual Conversation
What happens when you think about sex? Assuming you don’t have some kind of dysfunction, you get aroused. If you talk about sex, you will make a woman more attracted to you because of a strange phenomenon called the misattribution of arousal. In the famous bridge study, participants crossed a nerve-wracking swaying bridge with a 230 foot drop to the river below. On the other side, they were approached by an attractive female lab assistant and given a short survey. Afterwards, she gave them her phone number so they could call if they had any further questions. Half of the participants called the lab assistant after crossing the rickety bridge, and several even asked her on a date.
This is in contrast to the participants who crossed a safer, more stable bridge, none of whom asked the assistant on a date.
This is because, like I mentioned earlier, the symptoms of anxiety and attraction are very similar. Participants who crossed a dangerous, rickety bridge were brought into a state of heightened emotional arousal. They were still in this state when talking to the attractive lab assistant, and afterwards they decided to ask her on a date because they thought their anxiety from crossing the bridge was attraction to the lab assistant.
Similarly, if you bring sexuality into a conversation, it won’t make a woman attracted to you directly, but thinking about sex will turn her on, and she will naturally associate her feelings of sexual arousal with the person she is interacting with, you.
How can you bring sex into a conversation without it being uncomfortable or awkward? Play the question game. The rules are simple, you each ask questions of each other, the more personal the better. Questions can’t be repeated, and if either of you are uncomfortable with a question, you can ask to have it replaced with another question.
Tell her you want to play the game, explain the rules, and to start you can ask moderately sexual questions like, “What was your first kiss?” As the game progresses, ask progressively more sexual questions. Because it’s a game, nothing is off limits, and if you go too far, she can just pass to the next question.
The question game will allow you to comfortably bring sex into your conversation, and as she thinks about sex, she will naturally associate those thoughts with the person she is talking to, namely, you.
Conclusion
Integrate these five triggers for sexual attraction into your interactions with women and most women you meet will desire you. Women want to meet men who turn them on, but so few guys get it, so few men understand what really make a girl feel sexual attraction. These guys try to prove themselves with impressive jobs, nice cars, and big muscles. But women don’t want any of these things as much as they want a man who makes them feel good, use the techniques outlined in this article, and you can be confident in the fact that you will give women what they really want.
Master the Game Book (Dating advice that doesn't suck): https://www.amazon.com/Master-Game-Practical-Abundant-Dating-ebook/dp/B06XV14VDN
The Blog: https://redpilltheory.com/
YouTube: (https://youtu.be/sC_FgKUqN2w)
SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 7y ago
“I bet you don’t meet a guy like me every day.”
When she asks what's so special about you what do you say?
AveVictoria 7y ago
These are the sort of posts I come to TRP for. Well done OP.
The "I feel excited" study you mentioned stood out particularly for me. I remember being anxious/nervous before and during an exam. Then something clicked; I thought about how good it would feel to finish this exam. Those feelings of anxiety were replaced with euphoria, I'd never felt anything quite like it in my life, it was almost like being drunk.
Anyways I passed the exam and got the highest grade possible (Australian) on that subject.
Waltthizzney707 7y ago
Question: doesnt playing the question game remove all mystery from you?
Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
That's a bit of a misconception. Mystery might seem like it means playing your cards to the chest, but what makes someone mysterious (in my opinion) isn't that at all. Mystery is when someone stands out as different from other people, that difference is intriguing and makes you want to know more.
newName543456 7y ago
You forgot kino: perhaps the biggest trigger of them all.
Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
It does build a lot of attraction. But if you kino and a girl doesn't like you there's a solid risk of making her uncomfortable, therefore having the opposite effect. That's why I don't label it as a trigger, unless you're very skilled at calibrating it's better to save it for when you're confident that a girl already likes you.
[deleted] 7y ago
The TL;DR for the entire TRP.
truthseeker201 7y ago
I can vouch for the eye contact thing, especially if you have nice looking eyes, it can be a deadly combo.
ecosci 7y ago
All you need is confidence and options which will help with anxiety towards women and social situations practice eye contact everyday until it becomes natural and learn more about female nature because these strategies wont work half the time women are fickle creatures.
x0diego0x 7y ago
I realized the anxiety argument when I was like 18. Whenever I felt anxious it meant that I needed to do something, and put my mind into figuring out what it was, and then tried to do it.
[deleted] 7y ago
Honest this line
is so true , I just realize my mistake.
5kevin 7y ago
Long time lurker. One of the most helpful, clarifying and straight-to-the-point posts I have seen concerning sexual attraction which is hands down the most important topic that is discussed in this sub. Bravo , sidebar material.
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Obwalden 7y ago
"Long time lurker", Your comment history says otherwise
i agree with you tho
stylesm11 7y ago
Maybe he made an account to start commenting
Obwalden 7y ago
His first comment was in this sub a year ago
sezamus 7y ago
Pure, meritorical gold. A one in a month post.
I really liked the intent part and I confirm that. E.g. military P.F. tests (difficult ones) cause a lot of stress and anxiety that can drain you off your energy or give you a double boost dependently on your mindset.
MrAnderzon 7y ago
This should go on the sidebar
whistleclick 7y ago
I'm still a new reader and I concur
rigbed 7y ago
The first point about anxiety is gold, I heard it before but only recently, surprised pook didn't mention it
hax34123 7y ago
Where can I find the book of pook?
RonJeremysMustache 7y ago
http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/
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htbf 7y ago
Never knew about it but it's amazing.
ConsiderMeFucked 7y ago
Try my patented D.E.N.N.I.S. System for free!
i_am_mr_skeltal 7y ago
Just do t forget your monster condom for you magnum dong.
landon042 7y ago
if i remember correctly, half of his points were stuff here and is good shit, but idiots on the show r retarded.
ConsiderMeFucked 7y ago
You take that back! They're all amazing!!!!!
treeslooklikelamb 7y ago
Maybe the M.A.C system might be more appropriate...
[deleted] 7y ago
absence of fear + physical fitness = (sexual) attractiveness imo
funinsun10 7y ago
5 real triggers...
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Atuli 7y ago
Brilliant post. Understanding just these concepts alone will sky-rocket your success with women.
LOST_TALE 7y ago
have you read that book?
What else have you learned from it?
Adustar 7y ago
Probably the best post in here ,that I ever came across.Big ups to the OP.
falecf4 7y ago
Great post, bookmarked. Subbed to your site!
Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. Curious, are there any topics in particular you'd like to see an article about?
falecf4 7y ago
Out of the 5, mystery would be my weakest point. I'm so open about everything I don't always leave a lot to the imagination. Beyond that, I'm just working on building my life.
yayaja67 7y ago
This is an awesome post, with a lot of actionable advice. Thanks!
MrAnderzon 7y ago
That's why they say for dates to do some type of activity instead of the usual dinner and a movie.
Elfclan30 7y ago
Nice. Gonna finish reading this later
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blasted_biscuits 7y ago
Good post. Well formatted with stellar examples of each point. The sexual tension section is gold. I've seen it time and time again. Don't fight female nature, learn to use it to your advantage.
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Scottyzredhead 7y ago
This guys comment history: Pokémon, league of legends, hearthfire (assuming that's also a video game), rocket league exchange?, for honor, blizzard, march against trump and a post of "me_irl" that shows him never getting pussy. A real go-getter over here.
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htbf 7y ago
People trying to understand how humans work using scientific research... The tragedy!
You had a girlfriend for 2 years?! Look at mister alpha over here! A lot of people here had girlfriends. Some had fiancées and wives. Some have kids. Some have mutiple girlfriends. And some are just by themselves and doing juste fine.
See, the difference here is that there is no judgment. Here is how shit works, do what you want with it, stop whining and pursue your personal ambitions.
The only douchebag here is you.
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htbf 7y ago
You're saying that because you read somewhere else that this place is misogynistic. Look around and make up your own mind. It's a uncensored place for men who need to talk without restrictions. Sure, there are the occasional stupid and misogynistic post. But this one isn't.
Penguin327 7y ago
It get's even sadder when you see the type of people that circulate subs like these
Dolvido 7y ago
Then how did you end up here? ;)
Metalgear222 7y ago
Solid post. Too often I get caught up in the notion of not looking in the eyes of women I find attractive to separate myself from those oogling at her all the time. But there is a balance there. A deep stare and smirk into her eyes every so often probably works wonder. Will try it at the gym this evening and get back with you all.
EDIT: well they are definitely intimidated by me despite being 5'9. Im jacked though. I'd say its hit or miss, some smiled some seemed offput. I'll keep trying it.
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Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
Thanks for the suggestions. The simplest way you can get girls to chase you more, especially on dates, is to send mixed signals (I.e. disqualify).
You can tell her she reminds you of the sister you never had and that you're really comfortable talking to her.
You can tell her that it's so rare for you to meet a girl who you feel like you can be friends with and have a nice platonic conversation with.
These all will make her doubt if you're really interested in her sexually and that doubt is intriguing while also getting her ego involved, now she will want to prove that she's sexually attractive to you.
You can also do takeaways, act like something she said was really dumb and say that after she said that you have to leave. Then actually start walking away, you want to make her think you might actually be leaving, this will make her feel she has to chase you.
[deleted] 7y ago
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Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
It's unlikely that kind of thing will make it into a book (at least of that scope), however I'm working on a video product that will cover what you're asking for here with infield footage.
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jjk35 7y ago
Holy moly this is hilarious.
imn0tg00d 7y ago
I always hear "Do you say that to all your girls?" or "Do you always bring home random girls you met the same night?"
Shaman6624 7y ago
Don't you read shit test theory this one always comes up as the most basic shit test
Nogaz 7y ago
When they say that I know for a fact I will smash. Treat it as a sign that she sees you as high value
imn0tg00d 7y ago
Well yeah. I know that they will smash. They usually say that as I am kissing them or after we have already had sex.
5kevin 7y ago
"Only the pretty ones "
"Sometimes they bring me to theirs" Or "Depends how good their first impression is"
feelhuman 7y ago
"Sometimes they bring me to theirs"
That's brilliant.
imn0tg00d 7y ago
Good response. I just turn around and ask them the same question. I never answer it though.
Legionnaire90 7y ago
Great post, thank you.
Can you link names/ url of experiments?
Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
Mutual gaze and attraction: attraction: Huston, T. L., and Levinger, G. (1978). “Interpersonal Attraction and Relationships,” Annual Review of Psychology 29:115–56.
Reframing anxiety as excitement: http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2013/12/performance-anxiety.aspx
Bridge study/misattribution of arousal: http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1975-03016-001
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[deleted] 7y ago
5 triggers for sexual attraction:
You are physically attractive.
You don't care about her.
You don't care about her.
You don't care about her.
aherne18 7y ago
Pretty much. It's easy to appear valuable when she holds not value to you, but you have to be physically attractive to make any impression.
IF you are attractive, the more beautiful she is, the more she falls for you in direct relation of how little you fall for her.
[deleted] 7y ago
Bingo. It's so important, when gaming 8s and up, to ignore her beauty and appear only slightly interested.
stormyge 7y ago
I love how you proved you your points with scientific studies! Great post!
theoneandonly1321 7y ago
Wasn't able to find this...could you post a link?
Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2013/12/performance-anxiety.aspx
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[deleted] 7y ago
Subscribed, I gotta read more.
DarkRenaissance 7y ago
Amazing post. Well written and straight to the point.
Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
Thanks! Will post more in the future, is there anything in particular you'd like to see an article about?
twatbutters 7y ago
Good post; eye contact is generally a good sign of how confident an individual is. If you pay close attention, most overweight or scrawny weak men can't maintain eye contact in social situations. Instead they go to their phone or look around the room like idiots. To add to this, their lack of confidence seeps into how they talk as well-- they often stutter, include unnecessary words like "umm," into their sentences, etc. Eye contact (as long as you're not using it awkwardly) conveys confidence and power. If you lack the ability to use it well, practice it by just letting go of your hamster that tells you that it's awkward or rude.
theONE843663 7y ago
Bruh... do u know how long it took for me to stop using 'uhmmm' and 'uhhhh' in conversations? Replacing that with silence was so difficult to get used to.
Oz70NYC 7y ago
About 2 weeks ago I'm in a meeting with a potential client. 2 females, an art auditor and her assistant. Boss lady is well over the wall, early mid 40s. Decent looking, but you can tell she must spend money to maintain the looks she still has. Assistant is about early 30s I'd say. A bit more attractive then her boss, but clearly not as intense. Both are about an HB6-7, with the younger one having 8 potential in a more "formal" setting.
So boss lady is explaining her needs of my firm to my partner and I. Like I said, she intense. First generation feminist intense. It's clear to me she's used to getting her demands met from the tone of her speech. So I decide to play a game. As she's speaking I stare into her eyes with unwavering intent. After a few minutes she notices and gives a quick glance before looking away nervously. Every so often she'd look back to see if I had stopped, but I didn't. So she'd try to maintain focus on my associate, a female.
I decided the assistant should get the same treatment. I divert my gaze from boss lady to her, and unlike boss lady, she can't look away. She grins that shy girl grin, twiddles her hair...about every non verbal tell a woman can do to say "I want your cock"...she did. So I switch between both of them over the course of the next 15 or so minutes, and I notice now boss lady is gazing with longing eyes at me as well, but when I look at her, she looks down, fiddles with her paper work, checks her phone or so on.
The meeting comes to an end, and we agree to terms. I customarily seal the deal with drinks or dinner later in the night to go over things more formally with new clients. Here's where it gets interesting. First off, boss lady decides where we'll meet, a quiant little bar in Chelsea not far from her office. I show up and they're both waiting, boss lady looking fit as fuck, and the assistant confirming my HB8 theory. I immediately surmise talking business wasn't in the cards. Not tonight.
Long story short, they both mention how beautiful my eyes are, and how my gaze is "intoxicating" as boss lady said. I don't usually mix business and pleasure...but here I had 2 pretty women starving for dick it woukd seem. Who am I not to help the needy? Turns out this wasn't the first time they "shared". I leave the details to your own imaginations. So yes...I can vouch for the power of eye contact. It's been in my tool box since my early 20s.
StudntRdyTeachrApear 7y ago
Awesome post. It's about being bold enough to do what is uncomfortable to most. To be audacious enough to blatantly assert dominance can seem unnatural to those who associate it with a lack of civility, when really the most powerful and attractive men in the world do this to the dismay of male onlookers, and to the approval of female recipients.
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Oz70NYC 7y ago
Believe what you want, fella. I don't share stories for imaginary internet cool points. I share to give examples of my results putting RP principles into practice. It only seems unreal because in your mind you're still not bold enough to push limits. That's your problem, not mine.
RomanEgyptian 7y ago
I'm from a a culture where it is rude to maintain eye contact. As soon as I got over it results increased :)
twatbutters 7y ago
Context is important-- if you're in business settings or social settings where these people are not there, use eye contact. If you're in the type of cultural setting where it's considered rude (e.g. South or East Asian cultures), then by all means, don't do it.
RomanEgyptian 7y ago
Absolutely, took some time to get used to but like you said context is key
kelvin_condensate 7y ago
Lol, you don't need to pay that much attention. Their behavior is that of a beaten animal.
LymanRP 7y ago
Spot on. I don't think a lot of people don't realize that simply making direct eye contact in conversation greatly boosts your perceived confidence and SMV. One of the things that I've found surprising is how often people, notably women, will look down when I make eye contact.
caP1taL1sm 7y ago
Looking down while breaking eye contact is a sign of submission. Women do this on purpose because they're submitting to you, who is maintaining strong eye contact.
The takeaway is to NOT look down while breaking eye contact. Look to the side, or up, but never down. I know women like me when the tension builds between us and she keeps fluttering her eyes up and down because she can't withstand my gaze.
And this is within the framework that for me, eye contact was a huge problem and one that was causing me difficulties in a variety of social situations. I'd say about a solid 25% of my "gains" socially and sexually have come directly from being more comfortable with eye contact and using it to my advantage.
LymanRP 7y ago
That definitely makes sense. When you say looking down is a sign of submission, could that be interpreted as attraction? Say I walk by a girl, make direct eye contact and she looks down... does that mean she potentially sees me as attractive and dominant and would be open for an approach?
caP1taL1sm 7y ago
http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap8.html
pevans12 7y ago
This post stands on its in feet. It needs no help. A lot of shit around here is vague or grossly overly explained. I read this three times
Transformationalpsyc 7y ago
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. Are there any other subjects you'd like to see an article about?
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Terdmuffin 7y ago
This is one of the best and most easily applicable posts I've seen in a long time. The part about nervousness vs excitement really resonates with me and to be honest I should should considered trp Canon.
merryhexmas 7y ago
This is fantastic and spot on. I really have only been utilizing eye contact and had to consciously force myself into habit to do it over the past couple years. I didn't even know it had any effect but then I read about primal triggers and wouldn't you know it it worked like a charm. Seriously if all you can take away from this is one thing learn to master seductive eye contact.
At first since you're not used to holding eye contact the very idea of holding it is really hard because instincts train you to look away. You have to physically battle to get over this one. Once you do you don't forcefully stare at her because that intensity gives off the wrong vibe. You can start with your eyes a little wider when she catches your eyes and then gradually soften them until they're in a relaxed state but still penetrating. Do this a couple times and she is yours. It works so well because you are conveying intent with your gaze, you are showing her confidence by not flinching away, it creates tension because she will be the first to look away, it establishes dominance when she does, and it sets the frame of the date to being sexually charged.
monadyne 7y ago
When training yourself to be able to sustain direct eye contact, here's a trick: focus your gaze at the bridge of the person's nose. To them, it appears that you're looking into their eyes.
Eastuss 7y ago
TIL I am natural at it and why GF hates when I talk to other women.