I've applied TRP with great success. I can easily get dates with women I am attracted to, have gotten past my fear of escalation, and the frequency of which I get laid is purely limited by logistics rather than a lack of game and physical attractiveness.
However, my ability to score is predicated on the idea that women are fundamentally replaceable. I have no issue aggressively escalating with women I meet because I know that there's no social fallout from failure. It's easy to succeed when the stakes are low.
Where everything starts to break down is when I try to sexually pursue girls I see regularly. In my social circles, I'm known to be a very outgoing, charming guy who can get shit done and put you in contact with the right people when you need. In general, the women I deal aren't uncomfortable with physical contact in a social setting (e.g. I'll lightly tug her hair to get her attention from behind, touch a shoulder as I walk by, etc).
The key to my social success is that it's not serious. I can get away with these things because everyone knows that I'm a guy who just likes to have fun. It's kind of like how a 40 year old guy with a wedding band can get away with saying things to a young waitress that a 20 year old could never pull off -- the expectations are clear, he's not actually trying to pick her up.
My motivation for trying to pick up women from my social circle is that I don't love the ONS situation. I'd like some short-term companionship, and while I'm not stupid enough to commit without properly vetting a girl, I know a lot of the women I'm "friends" with a lot more intimately than a read I could get from a casual encounter, so I'll generally be more successful in properly evaluating our compatibility. (Read: if I meet her on Tinder or at a bar, we aren't going to be compatible.)
Make no mistake: I'm not pining after a specific girl and it's not as if I'm trying to escape the "friendzone". None of these women are more than casual acquaintances. But I'm concerned about the social fallout of "escalating quickly" as I normally do; yet it doesn't need saying that "taking it slow" with a woman generally isn't the way to go, as I have observed first hand.
To be honest, I wasn't sure if I should put this on askTRP or the main sub, I opted to put it here because I'd like to prompt a discussion about your experiences with gaming girls in your social circle (e.g. girls you meet pursuing your hobbies) rather than post a specific scenario with a particular girl that I'm pining after. I can repost it there if that was the wrong call.
Any thoughts? For those of you who are established socially, what are your experiences with gaming girls you see on a regular basis? Obviously not referring to women who can damage your professional reputation.
Bigjohnthug 7y ago
I see this attitude in the community a lot. The issue comes from thinking that you have to 'game' girls to get them into you. Nope. If you're a worthwhile guy you don't do anything to 'make' girls like you. They just do and you, as the man, make the moves.
I can tell you you're enough but honestly my word isn't worth anything. You have to start believing the girls in your social circle are horny and would probably prefer to fuck someone they know than not. Especially an attractive guy.
vengefully_yours 7y ago
Fucking kids. Think they know something and decide to spout off about it.
I met girls through cold contact mainly, but I have also met them through mutual friends. I keep them around as long as I like, when I no longer interested in fucking them, they decide if they want to remain close to me. Whatever works.
Now on to what you think you know.
You can't think a girl can be vetted, that she is different than the rest, that somehow she isn't like the others or is high quality. I've fucked enough high quality married bitches to know that all they need is opportunity and plausible deniability and they'll fuck any man who gives them tingles. She doesn't want to lose her provider, so you will never know I fucked her, unless I happen to tell you. It's rare I tell anyone, because you don't mean shit to me.
I learned the hard way, that she can and will do whatever she wants, no matter how or what I am. So I simply do not care if she sucks another cock. I know first hand how they are, and the only variable in them other than physical appearance is what it will take to get her naked in my bed, or me into hers. If you're considerably higher value than her, she is less likely to cheat, but make no mistake, if she thinks she can do better than you, those legs open easily. They can do whatever they want, I can replace them at any time, but add long as I'm getting the pussy and no diseases, I really don't give a damn what she does when I'm not there. Hell I share them with sone of my friends.
They are a warm most place to jerk off, and sometimes they're fun to be around when you're not dumping a load in them. Does that sound to misogynistic for you? Well do you know what you are to her? Ultimately you're a walking ATM, a wallet, a resource stream she gets for a little bit of pussy.
That is the fucking reality of it. Accept it and move on.
[deleted] 7y ago
Every post you make is like a fresh breath of air to me. I wish we could shoot the shit in real life.
Work-Hustle-Kill 7y ago
I need to read this kind of comments more often.
ThrowFader 7y ago
Dang it. You see here kids? This is words of wisdom from a real man who's seen shit!
[deleted] 7y ago
this is a herpes lifestyle
[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
[deleted]
whatsthisgarg 7y ago
I'm not really sure why you're concerned; maybe there's something specific that is not coming across here, but none of this is a bad thing. Pre-selection is great, and you're smart enough to know that, which is why I think there's some element of the situation missing in the post.
My experiences:
early 20s, in a particular music scene, it seemed like the more women in the scene that I slept with, the more wanted to sleep with me. ONS, short-term, long-term, whatever they had in mind (didn't always work out for them, but I got what I wanted).
late 20s/early 30s, in grad school, same thing. The fact that I was all-but-married was not an obstacle to most of them. They either just wanted to get fucked, or had some delusion that I was going to leave my GF and go be with them.
I think the common theme I see above is the wonderful ability of women to delude themselves that they are special, and those other women either didn't really happen, or didn't really matter.
But to be completely honest, there were a few times where, contrary to TRP, the women didn't want to "share an alpha." (I know you're sleeping with X who is a friend of mine, so maybe we shouldn't do this anymore.) EVEN THEN, on almost every occasion, when that situation ended, they came back for more.
FieldLine 7y ago
The RP ideas that I've implemented into my life were practiced elsewhere. Some worked for me, some didn't, but at the end of the game, there wasn't any fallout either way.
That being known as a "player" will help you bed more girls may very well be the case. Enough guys have said so here for me to believe it. But I haven't been able to bring myself to "go public" in this sense, that is, effect a change on my persona that will be impossible to undo.
Having such a title may net you more girls, but there's something to be said about the quality of the girls you're bedding.
I respectfully disagree with /u/vengefully_yours above -- while it's true that every girl is capable of cheating, and while most very well might be, it's impossible to say that there's no difference between a girl who spends her nights night boozing at nightclubs or meeting guys from Tinder and one who spends the night at home reading or pursuing some kind of hobby.
What I'm trying to say is that right now, today, I have a good thing going. People respect me. I do well in school, I have a great job, and I'm on track to make a lot of money when I graduate. I'm in good shape, and I can get laid when I want to.
I got to this place by being careful. I don't want to fuck it all up for some pussy. And like most men who are where I am, I'm tired of playing the field, and would rather consistently be with one woman than be with a different one every night, even if only for the short term.
I just have no idea how to do that. I suspect it would involve getting with girls I already know (as opposed to the classic Tinder hookup which is already a red flag from the starting line), but maybe you would suggest otherwise.
Mr-Ed209 7y ago
Why would you rather be with one woman?
I feel the problem here is you're chasing something that doesn't exist.
The whole thing of having a 'connection' with a girl is largely meaningless and is more than likely to reduce your value in her eyes. That's the whole dilemma of TRP for most, women's nature (to value strength) goes against what would make a relationship mutually enjoyable for both involved.
She doesn't necessarily have to cheat... But if you act weak she's still going to test, treat you badly and be a huge impact on your time. It's a serious thing to consider a LTR, do not do it if your just trying to lock down a nice piece of ass - that's not how it will end up working out.
whatsthisgarg 7y ago
Sounds like you're concerned for your reputation. I've been reading your comments for a long time, so I know that you are a thoughtful, intelligent young man. You trust yourself. But maybe you are bordering on being too careful. Only you can know.
I know the feeling. It is powerful. As a testament to its power, I will tell you this: I turned away five of the most beautiful and sexy and interesting women that I was having sex with on a regular basis, without attachment, to be with just one. Guys who haven't been in that situation (and some who have) will not understand how that is a candidate for an option.
You have to find the right woman. And you also must know that in the absence of the "right woman," you are at risk for choosing the "almost right" woman. Guard against it. Don't listen to vengefully, too much bitterness. I'm not saying he's wrong, though.
I really feel sorry for this younger generation. My nephews and guys I know in their 20s -- 100% LTR failure. Some, most actually really painful. The women don't seem much bothered. Hard shit.
blackedoutfast 7y ago
escalating quickly is always preferred, even in social groups. go for the ONS / plate at first and then if it goes well you can eventually let it become a more serious relationship. never try to go for a relationship first, that's bluepill beta thinking and how guys end up in the friendzone or being the beta bucks boyfriend who gets cucked.
if it doesn't go well, you can just frame it as a random drunk hookup or whatever, no big deal. the worst social group drama happens when two core people who are in a serious LTR break up and then everyone starts having to take sides.
isolation is obviously very important if you're at a group event with mutual friends and you don't need to worry about an opening line. but other than that it's the same process: be flirty and sexual, use kino, and then make up some excuse to go somewhere else and then ramp it up.
it's very important to have a reputation/image as a guy who regularly gets laid but is very discreet about it. you can tell funny sex stories and all that when it's appropriate but never brag or name names.
if you're a high SMV, fun, socially competent, popular guy you will inevitably going to have girls in your social group start trying to reel you in. have an abundance mentality and always remember that you're the prize, especially in this situation. most guys fuck up and start beta dating (or getting friendzoned) by the first girl that shows them attention. don't be thirsty and control the frame. once one girl is chasing you, other girls will start chasing you and they will be competitive with each other trying to be the one who wins. this drives your smv even higher which makes girls want you even more and then you're playing on Chad-mode.
be very careful you don't become an orbiter or catch oneitis. you have to walk a thin line when you're dealing with female friends. if you're already interacting with girls on a social/friends level in a group, it's very easy for them to pivot into you hanging out one on one, doing favors for them, etc.
you can always skip the girls at the core of the social group and focus more on the girls at the fringes, and random friends of friends, coworkers, old college roommates, etc that will occasionally get invited to parties or whatever by the core girls. the social group gives you pre-selection but you don't have to deal with the potential issues with hooking up with girls in your group.
[deleted]