There was a removed post awhile ago about a kid getting banned from gyms and stores for cold approaching. I proceeded let off some steam. Below is the copy and pasted version + some additions.

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Listen up PUA snots, I've been seeing similar behavior and attitudes and was recently triggered by some young armchair theorist due to his ignorance. This shit needs to be addressed.

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Subject: Cold-appoarch

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1) I can tell by your post that you're like one of those cold-approach PUA dorks that lingers in the malls spamming strange women for 'number closes'. People take notice. When a man is using a direct approach and his sexual intentions are obvious, people watch from afar or eavesdrop up close when they see a man do this if only for entertainment. Either they find it hilarious you're saying things most men wouldn't dare say from lack of confidence (and root for you), or they deemed you low value from the start and are anticipating your failure and rejection and they take pleasure scoffing at you peasantness. ESPECIALLY WOMEN. This is important because word spreads. On your first approach, people may just chuckle and go on with their day like nothing happened, but if they see a pattern, specifically a pattern of rejection, word gets out. Women start gossiping and talking shit about your low valueness, making sure to exaggerate to make you look worse in the public eye (i.e. bragplaining) and grab more attention. At the very least, you'll be eliminated as a sexual prospect by a great portion of the female population for no other reason than you'll hurt their rep (even if they found you attractive before). You're a sexual outcast.

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Now for the men. Men like me don't give a shit unless I'm with the girl(s) and you're disturbing the vibe at that moment in time. "Boohoo a man you didn't like hit on you". For the vast majority of other males? They are whiteknights. They are suckers for female approval and will raise arms against a man that any female that's slightly fuckable accuses or IMPLIES that you're merely bothering her. They don't even consider she may be lying or exaggerating. They don't care if it's true, they get to virtue signal and will turn against you. Male rejection is the worse form of rejection because men are the leaders and builders of all social circles. With restricted to women, it's just sexual ostracism, when men get involved, it's social ostracism. Goodbye. This is what you experienced. The guys don't even have to be white knights, they're just guys hanging with the girls and you suddenly disturbed the good vibes they've worked at establishing. Men never hesitate to kick out another sperm competitor. "Yo nigga, why you scaring the pussy. Youza pussy-scarecrow. Get." I would do the same.

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  • Conclusion 1: Cold-approach in this manner is spam. It's similar to marketing foot soldiers at kiosks and at grocery store isles confronting you about new cellphone plans, but with one difference, cold-approach in this manner is SEXUAL SPAM. The customer didn't walk into the store for that purpose. You're a hobo asking for pussy change. 'Mr. Expert Gamer' is a social outcast. Mr. Expert Gamer relies on the 'numbers game' which leaves a long trail of rejection in his wake, disturbing any social setting he's involved in due to the reasons outlined above. A mathematically valid approach in vacuum, but doesn't account for the social mechanisms. Guys who are successful with women aren't 'expert gamers'.

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2) You're approaching in closed settings. The gym is not a mating ground like a bar or club, it's a place to get gainz. The girl in question is 'forced' to endure your approach because where else is she gonna go? She shouldn't have to leave because someone is making her uncomfortable. Every citizen has the right to stand their ground, fuck the police. Every man needs to accept that in every society outside Islam and hunter-gatherer tribes not interfered by civilization, women, specifically 'stranger women' choose how the mating ritual proceeds. So in a closed setting like the gym, you wait for an IOI before proceeding. Or you better hope you're successful, otherwise you'll be at risk with your result. Even if you're polite about it not doing anything 'wrong', it doesn't matter. You better be good looking, swole, or clearly lifting heavy shit or have met her before (not really a cold approach if you know her is it?). You're also on a business establishment. They don't give two shits about you. One whiff that you're a problem, specifically a female problem, your ass is gone.

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Conclusion 2: Cold approach (spam) only works (not ostracized) in settings you don't frequent, have no social ties, and/or where the population is large (where you don't see the same people twice often). That shit does not work in a closed setting or a small population. Under these conditions, the dynamic in '1)' described above will kick in. I don't give a shit what these wannabe IDGAF-alpha-machiavellians think, reputation and image matters a lot. Creeper is a sexual connotation. There's nothing more damaging than a bad 'sexual reputation' (i.e. creeper and of course rapist and molester). Creeper is worse than liar. Creeper is worse than asshole. This is how you're viewed at the gym by the populace: https://youtu.be/XZs1GWtXZ34?t=49s

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How is it that other guys are flirting with women in closed settings like the gym and you can't get a break?

A: The 'cross-contextual chad' is a fantasy.

You need an environment outside work that you have an investment in and decent status, then attempt to approach those. The stranger banging chad is mostly a fantasy. There are very few 'outsider guys' who get consistent 'drive by pussy' or 'just passing through pussy'. By that I mean, you contacting women who are in environments and social circles you have no investment in and expect bangs with little socializing.

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Gym chads? They work at the gym or go to a specific one all the time and are in fitness groups and bang the girls there.

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Club chads? They have specific bars they frequent with the same circles and bang the chicks from those specific locations.

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You getting the picture? These guys are known by the girls in question or recognized as being officially established in that environment. Take them out of it, and they'd have to start all over, or at most get little success. Let me repeat, the 'cross contextual chad' is mostly a fantasy. YOU LOST YOUR STATUS THE SECOND YOU LEFT THE JOB. You don't get to leave the 'gang' then drop by and expect the privileges. As an employee who engages with these girls, you're at least a part of the 'group' and have a reason to be there. That's all gone. That's why the same behavior you displayed while employed was no longer deemed acceptable.

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PART 4 and Conclusion next comment, can't fit

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4) Your looks

I don't normally even mention a man's looks. Not even on this sub. A man can't change it other than body fat percentage and hair grooming. I most certainly don't insult him for it, but it matters in cold-approaching. When you cold-approach, you're stating, "I believe to be valuable enough to have sex with you while giving much less than other guys". You're an outsider with no investment in said setting approaching a girl who has tons of sexual options on a regular basis that has no idea about your value other than your looks. If you're not good looking, don't bother cold approaching, especially in a closed setting like the gym. You have two things going against you now, no investment in the environment AND don't meet the looks criteria.

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Take me for instance. I'm tall and good looking. Been told that my whole life. I can get away with saying things most others guys can't, I can be more aggressive in my approach than others. I can flirt and ask out a girl in the kitchen from the fast food counter in a volume where other people can hear and not be considered a creeper, even when rejected. I can flirt with a married woman, kiss her hand, and tell her that her ass is delicious and at the very least get rejected with a smile/giggle. If I didn't know she was married/taken after my flirtatious statements, then she tells me and the boyfriend or husband witnessed it, he laughs too. Being hit on by someone like me is not an insult. It does go wrong sometimes, some girls aren't interested at all, but I have a lot of leeway. But..... Even I rarely cold-approach. Why? Looks only get your foot in the door. You have to compensate for being a lone-wolf/stranger. Women don't bang dudes they don't 'know', usually( and this is excluding invaders). Sidenote: And after the girls gets to ~23, economic potential becomes important. After 23, money becomes a pre-requisite to sex even though it may not induce arousal. That's hard to impossible to show in a gym. After women become 23+ and you get older, the game changes dramatically. Many women, especially these women hate the entire concept of cold-approach. It doesn't matter if you're good looking, or higher smv than the schlub they're with. You coming up to them in this direct manner is 'offputting' for whatever reason they believe.

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Back on track.... Good looking has it's privileges (me). Great looking has even better ones, they don't even have to try or be fit. That's just the way it is. For the rest of you, you have to take a different route, what most people do: social circle game, career choice, hobby choice. These put you in close proximity and make you apart of a group (more detail in a later post). Yeah yeah I know I keep mentioning the comment elaboration post but I'm still working on it, until then you fuckers are gonna hear my rants.

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I don't wanna hear some 'non good looking' guy come here an try to disprove me. If you're not 'good looking' and still pull from cold approach, you compensated with something else. You didn't just pull with your wizard like seduction speech skills.

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5) Social calibration (iois and other people watching)

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When I 'cold approach' (almost never now), it's almost always because I saw her look at me in a sensual way, is strangely in my vicinity for no real reason, or I'm far away from home/vacation. On top of that I take in the surroundings. Who is she with, who will witness it? What kind of environment is this? Especially if I know she's taken. Social calibration and common sense motherfuckers. You don't instantly start touching a woman you don't know. You don't get all sexual with her friends or family around. You don't approach a taken woman in front of her peers unless she and the others clearly have no problem with it. Sometimes she'll give IOIs but the situation doesn't allow you to go for it. If you do anyway, a negative social mechanism kicks in, the woman senses it, and will act like she was never interested at all and make it worse for you to protect her image. WARLOCK'S LAW 2: Game is being naughty while keeping her image nice. I don't hit on a married even if she initiated it unless it's quite clear no one is around to judge it. People will forgive or overlook her part and blame you and she will deny all 'wrong doing'. I don't hit on women in closed settings or small groups, specifically in a direct manner, unless I get an IOI. Unless you know what you're doing, don't ever touch her ass, tits, or vagina with others around.

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Believe me because I used to be one of those PUA dorks with no social calibration (especially in high school). Cold-approach should never be a main source of talking to women. There's no easy route to pussy. Unlike a woman, your value further than the 'minimum looks threshold' (outside of extreme genetics) comes from things like status, proximity, and money. Men have to invest in groups to get something. Only women can barge through and be happily invited. This especially when you get older and people start partnering up and as explained earlier, start to not accept 'strange approaches'.

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It's not that you're talking to her that bothers her (usually), it's how you got there in front of her.

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Example: You work somewhere and see a hot girl. You walk up and ask if she is enjoying her experience there, then make some small talk and start flirting and ask for her number. If she finds you attractive in this scenario, this usually wont be a problem. BUT take the same guy that doesn't work there that just walks up to her and says hi and tries to escalate, and he will more than likely be rejected and she will act all awkward, regardless if you are physically attractive. You had no 'background purpose' to be there. It sounds stupid to men, but women care about that.

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If cold-approach is working for you great, you're doing it right. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

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P.S. Had a woman once tell me, "I like a guy who just creep in. I'm at a bar eating and watching the TV and he walks up and sits down casually for a bit. Eventually makes side convo about something superficial and eases his way in." I can confirm this. Keep that in mind.

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I could go on and on with slightly relevant tangents and forgot some things, but I'm tired. Goodbye.