Happy Independence Day
Since the 4th of July festivities are about to begin, I thought it a good time to share my story. Not only will I be celebrating the United States’ independence from England, I will be celebrating my personal independence from slavery known as marriage and the sentence of life in Hell being married to a Borderline Personality Disordered woman. It has been an uphill battle that is now over. While not easy, I hope that those of you that remain enslaved can find the voice, power, and ability to remove yourself from that soul sucking situation. Additionally, I would like to thank all of you on WAATGM that submit posts and comments regularly. I stumbled upon this sub a mere 7 months ago. The comradery, brotherly love, and no bullshit attitudes have been a welcome relief from the day to day bullshit. It has helped to remind me that the light at the end of the tunnel is not necessarily a train, just that the bullshit behind me was a real-life train wreck.
They say that ignorance of the law is no excuse for breaking the law. Many of us has heard this phrase at one point or another. For those that haven’t heard it before, the basic gist is that the law is the law and you will be held accountable for your actions (breaking the law) even if you did not know what you were doing is/was illegal. The same thought process stands true with women. Ignorance of women is no excuse when you realized that you have chosen the wrong one (or two or 5), you will still be held legally and financially accountable to that woman. If you are not married, then don’t ever get married. If you are married, then do not make rash and impulsive decisions when you finally see the face of the stranger that you are legally bound to. Divorce is a woman’s game that is designed so you have very little chance of winning. The rules are written by women, changed by women, interpreted by women, and enforced by women. Most of them are hidden until the judge shoves a copy up your ass. Acting impulsively just makes it easier for them to screw you over.
Anyoneinamerica’s Story
About 25 years ago, I started a new job where I met this hot little Latina (red flag) woman. She was separated from her husband (red flag) and father to one of her two children (red flag). She was an attractive woman that was about 5 years older and was actively flirty with me (red flag). We worked together and hit on each other for about 6 months before anything moved forward. The entire time the flirtation was sexual but lacked the crudeness that you would find with the typical slut. She had a coy virtue to her method that left me with the impression of a good girl that is just stuck in a bad marriage. Now enters Captain Save-a-Hoe...We went from flirty co-workers to balls deep fucking, literally 5 minutes after I suggested it (red flag). There was no dating, there was no seduction required, there was an unspoken urgency that I didn’t recognize and mistook for attraction and passion. I had been around the block a few times and was no stranger to sex, even some really fun kinky stuff; but the talents that this woman possessed were professional grade(red flag). My younger and more ignorant self was hooked. I was thinking with my dick and not heading advice from others. In my mind, she was the perfect woman. My own sexy olive skinned, dark haired, and horny Latina unicorn.
We continued to fuck with abandon like coked up rabbits and we began ‘dating’. We would go out to dinner, movies, dancing, theater, and other romantic type shit. Of course, it was all on my dime, since she was a ‘traditional’ kind of girl, despite the porn star quality sex I was receiving (red flag). There was plenty of time to do all these things since her soon to be ex-husband had custody of the kids, even the one that wasn’t his biological child (red flag). Regardless of what we were doing, we would be fucking afterwards. We would fuck in the car, in her apartment, in the office after hours, on the patio, and on a boat. If it was logistically and physically possible, then we took advantage of it and fucked. The more extravagant the date, then the more intense the sex was later. I didn’t realize until later that the sex was just bait and switch and a form of behavioral conditioning. She was training me to associate great sex with providing my time and money for her, at least indirectly.
Not long after this point we decided to move to a new city and get new jobs. It was a new beginning for both of us. A way to start a new life together and all that other chick flick bullshit. However, in all reality it was a way to separate me from my friends and family. Since I was blinded by sex and thinking with my dick, I jumped at the chance. We moved to a new place, got an apartment, and began to play house together. We combined incomes because that is what all serious couples do, right. We both worked and put money in the bank. Since I worked further from our apartment, didn’t have a desk job, and she was ‘better’ at balancing the checkbook; we (she) decided that she would manage the finances. It was weird that we never had extra money to do anything like taking trips to the beach, going to a winery for the weekend, and the occasional nice dinner out. We did these things before, when I was paying, but no longer. When I asked about it, I was told that we didn’t have the money. Again strange, since I had the money before. I asked to see the finances and the bank statements, which I thought was a reasonable request. Apparently, I was wrong in that regard. The argument that ensued was long and loud. It continued even after I gave up and went to sleep. She would wake me up to argue some more. When I say argue, I really mean to say call me a new derogatory name that she thought up and repeat the other ones that she had already used. The general overview was that I was a piece of shit for not trusting her and having the audacity to ask where the money was going. I later learned by going through my own financial information, that she kept locked in the desk, that she had a previous bankruptcy, had managed to acquire some credit cards with high interest, and had also managed to max them out. I was paying these debts and didn’t know. What happened when I asked about her financial situation? Another fight where I ask a question, she repeatedly yells obscenities at me, questions my manhood, and berates me for having the temerity to go through the papers in her desk. As you can probably guess by now, each and every time this occurred I would cave in. Once I would admit my transgression and properly grovel for her forgiveness; I would be rewarded with great sex. Thinking with my dick was getting me in deeper and deeper shit.
These types of spats played out on repeat for a few years. She was a master manipulator and easily twisted anything I said to be in the wrong. I truly began to believe that I had problems and was in the wrong for questioning things that seemed wrong to me. My perspective was destroyed and only she could think correctly. If I wanted peace and happiness, then I had to change. Unfortunately, I did change. I ceded control of my money, my life, my decisions, and my happiness to her. ‘We’ decided to get married and ‘we’ decided to have children. So we got married and had 2 children. ‘We’ decided that it would make more sense financially and developmentally if she became a stay at home mom until the kids were old enough for school. We wouldn’t have daycare expenses and household issues like meals, laundry, and housekeeping could be taken care of by her. Of course, it did not work out like that. When the kids became school age, she couldn’t be bothered to find a job. The constant excuse being, “I’ve been out of the market for sooo long, I can’t find a good job.” As a SAHM, she couldn’t be bothered to clean the house, wash laundry, buy groceries, prepare a meal, take the kids to school, pick them up from school, take them to doctor’s visits, change out of pajamas, have sex, or any other domestic duties. She was a literal parasite. She only consumed and provided nothing but shit in return. Speaking of consuming, the only thing that she did for the 19 years that we were married was buy shit. Twice during our marriage and once at the dissolution of our marriage, I had to figure out a way to pay off the ballooning debt that she created through on-line and TV shopping. I promise you that you do not know real financial and physical manifestations of stress until you have a BPD wife, two kids, a brutally murdered credit score, and $40K+ in consumer debt on top of regular cost of living; and persevered through it not once, not twice, but on 3 separate and distinct occasions. It got so bad at some points that I seriously considered suicide but couldn’t figure out a way to accomplish this and guarantee that the insurance companies would pay out. Additionally, I obviously couldn’t trust that she would be a good steward of the money or my children.
I love my children and would do anything for them. I do not think of them as a negative thing in my life, but the reality is that they were her safety net. I didn’t understand until much later that they were the anchor on which she would guarantee her cash and prizes when I was used up and she moved on to the next mark. Since she could not be relied upon to do anything but manage the finances (poorly) with an iron grip; and I being the only responsible party in this ‘relationship’ I did the only thing that I knew how; I worked. I worked my regular job which pays well. I worked side jobs to bring in cash to pay the debts. I worked in the house to feed and provide for my kids. I worked to raise my kids. I worked, I cooked, I cleaned, I did laundry, I went to the grocery store, I took my kids to the doctor, dentist, & orthodontist, and I got my kids to school & back. I lived on about 3 hours of sleep each day for many years while she slept all fucking day and shopped all night.
THE MAIN EVENT(S)
That’s right events…plural. Now that I have provided a little background on the hell that was my marriage and my life on a consistent basis, I will talk about the 3 distinctive events that pushed me to wake up and realize that my life sucks and is in no way close to normal. During the relationship there were almost daily fights, arguments, disagreements, and the beloved silent treatment. I became numb, tolerant, accepting, and blind to them. What most men would consider the ‘main event’ was just a weekly event in my life. These spats were usually verbal, emotional, and manipulative in nature. They did not always include violence, but that was always a possibility and did happen often. As a male, I was expected to take it but not reciprocate. In addition to these daily and weekly conflicts, there were 3 major events that I classify as ‘main events’. Each ended up being extremely physical and violent and each ended up with the police being involved.
The first was at the 6-year mark of the marriage. Things were becoming unusually more tense and financial difficulties were the cause. The short version was that I was less than a real man because I didn’t make enough money to support my family. I was neglectful of my family (her) because all I did was work and take care of the kids. I am spending too much time away from the house ‘working’ and must be fucking some chick on the side since I had no interest in trying to fuck my wife. The hindsight view is a little different. We were severely in debt and she was no longer able to hide it from me as I was receiving collection calls at my work. To deflect away from the problem of debt, to manipulate me into not leaving, and reassert her control over me; she instigated a fight and escalated it to physically violent. Lots of things in the house were broken, many glass objects were broken on my head. When she picked up broken glass and kitchen knives to attack me, I called the police. She was removed but instead of jail they took her to a psych facility where she spent 72 hours. There was a hearing and the judge released her and instructed her to go to therapy for her ‘temporary moment of some shit’. There were no charges, no trial, no convictions. Not one fucking consequence for her trying to stab me because she got angry. She went to therapy right up to the point where I filed bankruptcy, lost the house, had no credit, forgave her, and agreed to work on things. Therapy immediately stopped. We moved into an apartment closer to my work, and life continued pretty much unchanged.
The second event was at the 11-year mark of the marriage. Leading up to this point from the last chaotic event, finances were doing ok since we didn’t have any credit and were paying cash for everything. However, after a year or two we started getting credit card offers with high interest rates. I found out much later that she had applied for and received many credit cards in both her and my names to ‘build up our credit scores again.’ Of course, dumb ass me accepted this as a good idea. During this time, she had become accustomed to me being available as her personal servant since we lived closer to where I worked. When I received a promotion, more responsibility, and had to work in a different location; she did not take it well. The accusations of infidelity began again. The daily and weekly spats were the norm for a while, but things were escalating like the last spat. As much as I tried to give in to her bullshit and avoid another fight, she would just push harder. I began to ignore her, not react or respond and continue with my responsibilities as if nothing was wrong. As was the norm for me at the time, I came home to get lunch and make sure the kids had something healthy to eat for lunch. She chose this moment to ratchet up the fight that had been going on for days. Yelling, cursing, and name calling ensued. Household objects became projectiles as she deployed the attack and retreat method of battle. She would throw something to hit me but would typically miss or I would deflect it. After a period of this combined with the need to return to work, I simply said, “I’m done. I am going back to work now.” I reached the third step from the top, as I was walking down the stairs, when I was hit in the back of the head and tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs. She had grabbed a large school dictionary and hurled it at me from a few feet away. As I picked myself up from the heap at the bottom of the stairs, I glanced up to see her standing at the top smirking. As I slowly walked up the steps glaring at her, she ran to hide in the bathroom. The locked bathroom door exploded as I walked through it. I walked up to her, grabbed her by the throat, lifted her off the ground, and informed her to never hit me again. I set her down, walked out, and went back to work.
I thought the fight was over, at least until I went home; but I was mistaken. Gravely mistaken. The cops picked me up from work later that afternoon. I was arrested and spent 3 nights in jail, since it was a Friday and I wouldn’t have an arraignment until Monday morning. I was arraigned, received a restraining order, had bail set, and had a trail date set. I contacted a lawyer to try and figure a way out of this disaster. I tried to bond out but couldn’t make bail right away because all the funds in my account were gone. I had to have my lawyer contact my employer to stop the direct deposit on my next paycheck and pickup my paycheck that Friday. I remained in jail for 7 days until I had the funds to make bail. I slept in my office for another week since I could not go to my home. Desperately trying to figure out how to piece my life back together and still ignorant, I thought that she had come to her senses and wanted to reconcile when she had the temporary restraining order removed. My dumb ass went back home to try and rebuild the marriage/family that was there. I was tried and convicted because nothing that she did mattered to the family court. I received 2 years of probation, forced to take parenting classes, forced to take the batterer’s intervention courses, and pay fines and fees.
I can argue the merits of the moronic Duluth model, the hypocrisy of the family court, and the bullshit that feminism has sprayed upon this country for a very long time. The actions of those 3 things led to my being awoken to how the system works and how I as a man am at a disadvantage. If it was not for the requirement to take the batterer’s intervention courses; I would have likely never learned the extent of the abuse spectrum. I would not have learned about the types of abuse that are classified. I would not have learned of the types of personalities that are abusive. I would not have learned exactly how the system treats abusers. Most importantly, I would not have learned that I was indeed being abused by my crazy spouse and she would likely kill me one day. Granted the classes all list women as the victim and men as the abusers, but it doesn’t really take that much of a leap to swap the gender roles to realize that I was the victim and continued to be the victim, regardless of what the courts might say.
I decided then that it was over, but I had persevered this long and I was not going to let the system screw me and my kids. I played the part that I was expected to. I received the abuse of my spouse on a regular basis. I redirected the abuse that she intended for the kids onto myself. I went on as I had done for the past 10 years. However, while I was at work I would:
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research everything that I could on my situation.
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research about NPD and BPD women and wasn’t shocked at what I found since I was living it.
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research the best family law attorney in the area and placed her on retainer.
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Squirrel small amounts of money away
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Record as many confrontations as I could
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Document each argument in a logbook
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Document each time she was abusive to the kids
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Find and research the Red Pill
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Find and research MRA sites
- Find and research NPD and BPD sites for victims
I continued and waited for the next event. I knew it would come and had to be patient. More importantly, I had to be stoic when it did happen. I could not react to anything that she would throw at me, lest I end up in jail again.
The next event happened around the 17-year mark of our marriage. I waited and suffered for an additional 7 years. She did not disappoint. One Saturday morning, while I was sleeping, she decided it was time to shake it up again. She began by throwing and shattering everything in the home that was glass. I woke up after the first item broke downstairs. After I heard 3 or 4 items shatter, I knew what was going on. I woke up the kids and had them get dressed, told them not to fight with their mom, and we waited. I waited and allowed her to build up a head of steam and destruction like never seen before. She laid waste to our home. She threw things at me. She threw knives at me. She attempted to hit me with her fists and kick me; and I passively allowed it. She broke a glass vase on the back of my head, and I allowed it. She hit me in the face with a book, and I allowed it. She kicked me in the stomach cracking a rib, and I allowed it. She left me bloody and bruised, AND I ALLOWED IT. When her attacking me didn’t garner the reaction that she wanted, she moved her attention to the kids. She screamed and yelled and insulted them, and I allowed it. When she punched one of them, I stepped in to protect him. She retargeted me for her violence and hit me some more. I sent the kids to the basement, followed them, and called the police. When the cops arrived, she was still destroying shit and throwing shit around the house. They arrested her and took her to jail for domestic violence. They took pictures of the destruction. They took pictures of my wounds, bruises, and cuts. They took pictures of the bruises on my child. She was released on her own recognizance (no bail needed) 2 hours later with a 3-day temporary restraining order. I refer you to my experience above on a Friday and encourage you to remember that this occurrence was on a Saturday morning.
I pressed charges and filed for a restraining order for me and my kids. I filed for full custody of my kids. I filed for full possession of our home. I went to court with 145 eight by ten glossy photographs of the destruction. My lawyer, on my orders, was relentless and employed a scorched earth policy.
She received 2 years of probation, batterer’s intervention course, parenting courses, court mandated therapy, and a full 2-year protective order for me and my kids. I was awarded full custody of my children. When the restraining order expires both of my children will be over the age of 18. Once the criminal and custody aspects were concluded, I filed for at fault divorce. After one-year separation (why I still don’t know), the divorce was granted. I have my house, my kids, my sanity, my peace of mind, my financial security, and a much better life. She did not receive any cash and prizes from the court. No child support, no alimony, no retirement account, no cash settlement, no house, and no car…not one fucking thing other than her clothes.
CONCLUSION / RESPONSE
As a result of the corrupt police and judicial system that has been overrun by feminist doctrine and policies, the average man cannot and will not receive a fair trial. A woman can and will use this against a man if she believes that it benefits her. I have realized that there were many events in my marriage that were designed to provoke a reaction from me so that my spouse could assert dominance and control. Having lived it and read more accounts than I can count of other men that were in similar situations and been fucked by the court for having done nothing more than defending themselves, I can say that I am cured of the mental disease known as marriage. There is absolutely no benefit to the male in marriage and incalculable liability. I shall never marry again. I shall never again co-mingle my finances with a woman. I shall never get to a point where I cannot walk out of a relationship again. The first sign of disrespect or attitude, and I will be gone. There will never be another woman sleep in my home longer than one or two nights. I will never be subjected to the whims of the evil incarnate that is woman. They will lie, cheat, and steal to benefit themselves. They have absolutely zero remorse for destroying people and will often do it out of boredom.
I consider myself to be a good man. I am responsible, honest, hardworking, fairly attractive, in shape, ear a decent living, fairly educated, etc etc etc. However, the simple answer as to why this 'Good Man' has checked out is that women treat men like shit and cannot be trusted to be loyal, supportive, loving, caring, or any other traditional female stereotype. The Female organism is fundamentally flawed and as a parasite destroys each and every host that it attaches to. Men are happier, healthier, and safer to avoid women like the plague that they are.
I would and will advise any man or boy to never get married and never be bound to a woman for any reason. The troubles are many and the benefits are non-existent.
I am going to have a very happy 4th of July as I have fought and won my personal independence. I wish the rest of you that have yours a happy independence day as well. For those that are still shackled under the tyrannical boot of a woman...figure out your battle plan and live free.
gronk4198 5y ago
Wow amazingly powerful story and so proud of you saving yourself and your kids from an awful situation. I too went through brutal divorce rape but am better on the other side. I try and tell myself...if I were in jail how much would I pay to get out, then it doesn't sting as bad but still a complete stitch up. Good for you amigo
goodmansaysfuckyou Mod 5y ago
Thanks for the supportive words. I found much needed support and a place to vent my pent up anger with WAATGM. Hang around and contribute, it is a place where we are all pretty much in the same boat and working through it.
u/anyoneinamerica user account was locked by reddit, so I have a new one now.
roseprincess1 5y ago
WOW, just wow.. i wanna say more but.. well i think its covered.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
Yeah, it was a rough time. All better and happier now.
SnarkyFella 5y ago
Wow... that was hard to read. The latinas can be fiesty i've heard, but a bpd one? Damn...
Raider_Scavver 5y ago
This is a Holocaust against men.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
It definitely felt that way to me.
Thanks for taking the time to read it.
kyledontcare 5y ago
"Benefits are non-existent." So dang true man.
RadTraditionalist 5y ago
I just read the whole post and wanted to say that, while it was certainly very long, I never felt like there was any filler in the story. You are a very good functional writer.
I'm a young man who lived with a girl as you described for a few years: suicide threats/attempts when she didn't get her way, stealing, emotional abuse, running out of the house, cheating, it ran the gamut. Go figure, she was a "traditional Latina" from Mexico. I can't even look at Latina women 5 years post-mortem because of that bitch.
The things I've read on WAATGM/WATGMA have been helping me come to an important life lesson before I have to live it myself but your post in particular really pushed it over the edge for me. I felt claustrophobic, small, terrified reading through the living hell you faced for so many years and I share my condolences for that.
The facts are that marriage is ruined in every capacity. I'm now 23 years old and I should take this opportunity to better myself and build up my independence.
Thank you for your post.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
Thanks for your comment and thoughtful words.
You are young and have many years ahead of you. You will make mistakes like everyone. Luckily for you, you have learned one lesson earlier than the rest of us. Just dont wife one up. Thebage of marriage has past us by. Set up your own home and preserve it for just you. Women come and go. Not one is worth your life or lifes work, but every one will want and expect it.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
Sorry in advance for this wall of text. couldn't figure out how to do it in 500 words or less.
[deleted] 5y ago
Never apologize for providing something of value. If someone doesn't see the value, they can fuck off.
lorem6300118 5y ago
Agreed.
I read every word, and each word was worth reading.
Flesh_Pillow5 5y ago
Amazing. Thanks for sharing this very well thought piece. Excellent writing and so much insight. Invaluable.
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
Thank you for sharing your story!
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
It felt like something that needed to be cast into sunlight. Just wasn't sure of how to do it.
Happy cake day.
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
Cake day?
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
Your user name had a cake next to it. I assume it was reddit anniversary. If not, then let them eat cake anyway.
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
Oh, lol! I guess that means it's my reddit birthday or something
[deleted] 5y ago
Just read the whole thing.
I thank you for sharing your tale of absolute woe. There are some excellent warning signs here, ones that I will be sure to take on board.
I would not tolerate a woman keeping her finances from me, especially if we're married.
Enjoy your freedom, you've earned it.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
While I definitely agree with you now, I was ignorant of that earlier in life. To add insult to injury, it wasn't her finances only. She managed and hid my finances from me as well. Just like a Ponzi scheme manager.
Harry_Teak 5y ago
Thank you for this post sir. You are a hero for both enduring what you did and by posting your experiences. I assume that writing this essay was not an easy task for you. I only hope that others in your situation and the inexperienced bastards considering marriage read this valuable document. This is the stuff men need to read.
You've probably done the research for your area, but I do want to note something in regard to this topic. I'm not sure how things are elsewhere, but where I live the cops will not remove someone from your dwelling if they claim to have slept there three nights or more. As far as they're concerned that is now Cupcake's "home" and she's got as much of a right to be there as you do. In fact if you call them to have Cupcake escorted off the premises you might be the one getting the escort.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
I have done the research in my area. Any one that you have had intimate and/or sexual relations with is considered a domestic partner, regardless of the amount of time. The cops will not check to see whom is the lease holder or property owner. They will not bother taking the time to verify anyone's story. If you have external genitalia, then you will be removed or arrested if anyone calls the cops. I do not do sleep overs. Period. Partially because my ex-wife tried to kill me in my sleep on 2 separate occasions and I do not sleep well with anyone; and partially because if I am going to be removed from somewhere, then it won't be my own fucking house. 99% of the time if there is sex being had, then it is at her place. I don't want anyone invading my 'fortress of solitude'.
Harry_Teak 5y ago
Always the best policy. Christ, sounds like my town's three-night rule is positively liberal by comparison.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
When it comes to domestic violence calls most jurisdictions go by the duluth model of the man is always wrong AND someone has to be arrested. Just and fair dont play into it.
The laws also apply to past intimate partners. An ex wife or gf from years ago that you javent had sex with in forever shows up and starts a fight= Domestic assault not basic assault. Visa versa.
Harry_Teak 5y ago
I know for a fact that it's just getting worse and worse out there. Monetizing female violence has been a growth industry for many years. That's why I'm so happy that most of my sex over the last thirteen years or so has been "chaperoned" by another woman. Cops get so confused when an aggressive ONS's story is torn apart by a female who was there as well.
[deleted] 5y ago
Thank you for you time and story, it's much appreciated.
It's hearing these stories that really put things into perspective.
You, having endured that epic part of your life and sharing it with us now will help so many guys avoid anything remotely like it.
Honestly, this was so well written and eloquently told that this should be mandatory reading and a have a place in the side bar. To remind everyone and newcomers alike what can happen if you're not careful.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Dude, I'm very happy that we have been able to bring some sanity and happiness in your life over the past few months. That was a fucked up story. How you maintained your sanity through that hell is beyond me. I'm infamous for my cold fury in my family and I am sure I would have never been able to endure what you had to endure for your children.
Congrats on being endorsed. You've earned it. Just like you earned your freedom, you now have an option to help us get other men get their freedoms. Continue the good fight.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
Thanks. I enjoy this sub. It is a cathartic experience for me, without the happy happy joy joy need a hug pycho-babble.
Im not sure how or if i maintained my sanity, but it probably comes from growing up in a very disciplined house and becoming accustomed to beatings. I can take a punch or two. At some point you learn how to diconnect and reconnect at will. Fucked up i know, but se la vie.
Happy cake day.
DeeplyDisturbed1 5y ago
Wow. That sent chills down my spine. Thanks for sharing your story /u/anyoneinamerica.
Having had to endure a rough marriage and experiences not so different than yours, reading your words brings a lot of powerful feelings to the surface. This shit is real. To this day, I have not had the guts to share my own story, so thanks for being so forthright. As men like you step up and share these stories, the more young men (and older) have access to wisdom and experience that they would otherwise.
Also, good on you for your epic patience and endurance for your children's sake. They are lucky to have a Dad like you.
Marriage is indeed a scam. The way I have framed it in my own mind is this: While most men should not have to go through this to reach their "final form" as a man, I DID have to go through it. Unlike a lot of men here, I was not so programmed into a blue pill mentality. It was a mix for sure, but I was warned by many men to watch for this and my father was very dominant in his relationship. My main problem was arrogance - I thought I knew better. I was good with women and could walk away from any one at any time. I had great success as a single man, and I had full control of my emotions....until I didn't.
My ex wife too was a Latina from a traditional background. I have come to realize that it is not race that was the issue, but culture. In her country, if your wife acts up, you beat her ass. As long as you keep it reasonable, there are no police involved. Any man who tolerates shit from his woman, is seen as weak and pathetic and he pays a heavy price.
Let that shit sink in for a bit, knowing what we know about OUR system. These differing mentalities are a nightmare in the making.
Happy 4th to you brother and good on you for getting to a better place. You have made me consider sharing my own story, but I will think about the time and place for that.
lorem6300118 5y ago
Well said.
I agree with your use of the word “epic”: while it gets used a lot nowadays, often hyperbolically and ironically, OPs story is indeed epic.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
In my case, this was definitely an issue. Their culture and our laws do not mix. Only someone willing to live above the law and inflict damage and fear can manage in this situation. My ability to inflict damage and fear is probably better than most, but all that shit is null and void once you are married and they realize that you are a nice guy and won't actually follow through. Then they will walk, stomp, drive, and bounce all over you even after they break one off in your ass. There is just no up side to be found, besides the initial great sex.
DeeplyDisturbed1 5y ago
I hear a lot of men talk about "Traditional" Asian women these days. That is another fallacy, and too many men take the bait and learn harsh lessons.
AWALT. Period.
In my view, the bottom line is this: Whether they want to admit it or not, a lot of women feel fear for the future. When women come to the US, they learn that they can get away with literal murder, rape, assault, and other crimes simply for being a woman. And not only will she not be held accountable, but a significant contingent of our society will praise her for these actions.
And the courts will reward her monetarily.
It is an extremely tempting proposition and an insane amount of power to dangle in front of the average woman. All she has to do is spread her legs and on average it is quite literally like a lottery ticket AND a get out of jail free card.
kyledontcare 5y ago
There is such a thing as asian jailbait. Women who are immigrants to this country from somewhere in East-Southeast Asia can be just as slutty, troublemaking, and awful as low-class white trailer park trash or a black Section 8 Ghetto Queen. In modern America, never marry, never co-habitate, never impregnate and never mix your money with hers. Pretty much the only path to sane living.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
That is absolutely correct. You might get a couple years toward a nice life, but once they understand the culture and watch enough tv to believe that they could do better, you lose more than just half of your finances.
[deleted] 5y ago
Thank you so much for posting u/anyoneinamerica. And thank you for referencing independence day and how it relates to the freedoms we somehow take for granted. It takes a lot for a man to do what you did; to endure for the sake of the kids; to go through the court appointed motions even though you were the victim; to succumb to the whims of the chaos in order to provide a better life for your family and attain the light at the end of the tunnel. Your post proves how men are the responsible adults in family and giving women a pass in media, society and in the courts continues to exacerbate problems and destroy family units. That is by design, to unravel the close knit ties of a male led household. To give women the power to subjugate men so that the state can use their slave labor for their own interests as well.
You have learned that you are alone, nobody cares for you, nobody is looking out for you, nobody needs you. If you want to live a happy life in this sick and twisted society then you must ratchet up that life for yourself and rely on noone else. That is your quest, to improve yourself for yourself and your children. The less you engage in female desire and entertain her masters by taking up agency for her the better off you and the rest of society will be.
But, your life isn't over yet. We have much work to do, brother. If you want to ensure the happiness and liberties of your children and their children, then you must also remove all your support to women and their benefits. As long as women have the Daddy Gov. Inc. to rely on, they will continue to legislate for more and more slavery, until your children wake up homeless and starving in the streets. Rectify this glooming doom by removing any obligations you have to their socialist support structures.
Because of your contributions and your desire to bring men off the plantation and fend for themselves, I have upgraded your status to an Endorsed level.
Thank you for enduring the pain, so that other men can avoid it.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
Thanks for the words of support and promotion. Not sure exactly how worthy of it i am at this piunt, but thanks all the same.
Life's a bitch, then you marry one.
BluepillProfessor 5y ago
You may have saved 1000 men with your story. Thank you.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
I hope you are right, but if just one is awakened and it prevents his misery, then i will be happy.
[deleted] 5y ago
Ohh you aren't worthy of shit, you are a man afterall! But sometimes us men have to give each other a chance, for us to prove who we are and want to be.
kevin32 Mod 5y ago
In the spirit of this sentiment - and with your blessings - I would like to permit u/anyoneinamerica to post certain weekend content whenever he wishes, on the condition that he balances posts with rule 5 content.
The "certain weekend content" I'm referring to is mainly Bitches, Tramps, Gold Diggers, and WAATGM In The Making. No memes.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yeah, but why not just extend this privilege to all endorsed members. ClockworkOrange comes to mind.
kevin32 Mod 5y ago
Yes, I was thinking the same. We have few Endorsed members who contribute, so their posting weekend content anytime shouldn't overshadow rule 5 content.
cc: u/ClockworkOrange92618, u/houseoftolstoy, u/Westernhagen, see my previous comment for context.
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
I appreciate the flexibility. There were quite a few that i didnt post due to the rule 5 concern, but asside from the humor content, that might be beneficial to the community to recognize as the toxic succubus they are. If/when i use the opportunity, i will try to ensure that it sticks with the theme. However, i would still appreciate you letting me know if i get a little off base.
kevin32 Mod 5y ago
Will do. To clarify, when I say "on the condition that you balance posts with rule 5 content", I simply mean that it's cool to post a profile that doesn't fit rule 5 during the weekdays, but then your next post should fit rule 5.
Click the links in my earlier comment for examples of the weekend Carol-types we allow.
cc: u/ClockworkOrange92618, u/houseoftolstoy, u/Westernhagen
anyoneinamerica 5y ago
Hairs needing split at this point. Most people dont know what Britain, Britannia, the UK, or the EU are anyway.
[deleted] 5y ago
It was Britain you gained independence from, not England.
[deleted] 5y ago
So glad you could contribute to the post in a meaningful way!
ValuableRope 5y ago
Good History is always meaningful!
[deleted] 5y ago
Hey now give me a few minutes, this is a heck of a read! ;)
[deleted] 5y ago
Heh, yeah I hear you, but well worth the read, I assure you.