Society these days mistakenly likens the maturity of a woman to be the exact same as that of a man, blissfully ignorant of biological reality. More often than not, you will see this popular myth being reinforced to girls. While this can be observed at various points in their lives, there are some key periods when this can be very blatant. For example, epiphany phase girls who finally want to cash in their chips portray one aspect of this maturity myth as them having finally grown up, matured and wanting to find a guy who is “worthy” of them.
There are a lot of reasons why girls reach their epiphany phase and their party years eventually end up with their “wising up/ maturing” to seek commitment. Inability to lock down an Alpha Fucks (much less an Alpha Bucks), concern for her status within sisterhood, the need to secure financial stability etc. are all well discussed and explained. While the desire for settling down is usually chalked up to her concerns for financial stability, hypergamy or concern for her status within the sisterhood and her concerns about missing out on marriage and the being relegated to the lower rung of the sisterhood (women are judged by their ability to secure commitment), these are not the only reasons why women hunt for commitment.
While these factors do play a big role, we also need to remember that women ultimately play by the rules of the society they are in, the rules of their biology and how much of their biological imperative is allowed within the context of the rules of the society they live in. Men who excuse shitty behavior of women (by claiming that it is in their nature to be so) often forget the role society plays in emboldening her to feel safe in acting a certain way.
While women might act in a selfish way to maximize their own benefits they are indeed playing by the rules of society and what is allowed within these rules. Consider two different types of girls: the wealthy career girl and a broke single mom. While the case of the single mom who wants to settle down to get financial security seems obvious enough, the case of the career girl needs more explanation.
Women live according to a script. Most women deliberately do things that were the domain of men in the olden days. This is done for several reasons. We will get to the reasons after considering the script that women usually play by: The current rules of society (for women and men) is that you grow up, become a legal adult when you turn 18, go through your youth gaining experience and maturity, you reach a certain point where you think you can handle married life, settle down and build your own family. As was explained previously, this is just an appropriation of what used to be the general guideline for the life path of men in the old days: You grow up, become an adolescent, get a job/ join military/ become a businessman, get some maturity and then start your own family. A rite of passage to masculinity.
Women, in the olden days, were expected to follow a different path. They were to learn wifely duties, find a guy (that she would feel comfortable submitting to and one that is within her league) and maintain the household. Needless to say, theirs used to be a more passive approach. Women received instruction on all this from older women in their families, who in the case of nuclear families were mothers and grandmothers and in the case of extended families, would comprise of mothers, grandmothers, aunts etc. Nonetheless, these women had themselves done what they were teaching their daughters to do. While the women were instrumental in building a girl into a girl worthy of married life, the role of the father was to help vet and screen young men wanting to marry their daughters.
With the advent of gender equality philosophy and the notion that men and women are the same with just different sex organs, we've set the life path of both the genders to be the same. We know that women actually coveted this and willingly spearheaded this via movements like feminism, but for the extent of this post let's just stick with this being made by society as a whole for now.
When men were expected to mature, their maturity was expected to come from hardship, self-improvement and attaining success leading to increased resource acquisition. This actually worked because men are expected to be the providers regardless. This maturation process often happened away from the eyes of women. Various cultures have had rites of passage ceremonies where boys were sent off to the forest for a period of time so that they can learn to survive on their own. While this can be traced back to the roots of every society, as society progresses, young men usually went through their rites of passage amidst other men: mentors who consisted of older men, brothers, fathers, uncles, family friends and colleagues.
These days, when women are expected to go through the process of maturity, they are expected to date around, define their taste by trial and error, get some maturity based on their experiences and then settle to build a family. Women, being sexual creatures (in that, that is their primary worth), define their entire process of maturity through fucking. This is true for the majority of women. Seen through this lens, a girl who goes through a series of short term relationships is not much different from a girl who goes through a series of one night stands before deciding to settle down. The minority that tries to follow the traditional male maturity process of power and resource acquisition, ends up becoming masculine and can only attract feminine men. This is the fate of career women.
The reason women usually go through this maturity process is primarily because of two things:
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The mistaken belief (solipsism) on women's part that men are also attracted to traits that women are attracted to. While she thinks a masculine man would appreciate a woman who is tough and who went through the male maturity process, what she does not understand is that this only applies to men.
- While every woman wants to fulfill her hypergamous objective of getting a higher value guy than herself, feminism has made it uncool to be submissive to men or to do anything pleasing to any man. The outlined maturation process serves as an act of defiance to her patriarchy defined rules to femininity. Women use this maturation process to try to prove to themselves and to men that they're as capable as men before finally settling down to be a wife. This entire process is a rebellion against being completely feminine or even desirably feminine. It's a statement of, "I can do man stuff too. Now that I've used my youth to do man stuff, which I expect impressed you, I want your respect (not as a woman but as one of your equals: a man) and I want a better contract than what I would have gotten under the oppressive patriarchy."
If you look at the ages at which Americans got married (first marriage) even four decades ago, it was around the age of 25 for the guy and 22 for the girl. These days, it's around 30 for the guys and 28 for the girls. These days, the age at which girls even start to think about locking down someone with economic potential is around 25, which if you notice is the age at which men used to get married. This is primarily because of the feminist message that women are at their peak in their thirties, but this is not possible without the acceptance for the maturation process she's supposed to go through before settling down.
When women get to the end of their maturation process, which is conveniently right after their party years, they frantically start looking to settle down not because of other women alone, but because everyone around her expects her to have become mature and capable of settling down. This is usually when friends and family members who dismissed her party years as her finding herself will start openly asking questions like when will she finally act like an adult and settle down. Girls go for betas around this time not just to extract resources but also to win social points. A beta serves the exact same purpose as that of a trophy wife. He is there to make her look good in society's eyes. She does not love him or care about his wellbeing. He is merely there to protect her and serve as a consolation prize. He is proof that she did mature and finally did become an adult. And if it does not work out, it was because he was not mature enough to make it work. It was by no fault of hers. After all, after having "made mistakes" and "maturing" because of that, she did become an adult. He just wasn't mature enough.
PS:
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If she is not successful in her attempts to secure commitment, she will rationalize her maturity process to be one where she has discovered inner peace after having finally figured out that she's the prize. A good example: http://archive.is/6cbwo
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Source for marriage age data here. https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2018/11/15/2018-median-age-of-marriage/ https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2018/08/24/us-marital-status-data-through-2017/
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See my comment here for a great example of how women go through life as outlined here.
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See here for more on the internal script women go through in their party years.
- See here for u/Aldabruzzo's take on the "life experience" phenomenon.
SomeGuy1251 5y ago
Fantastic read.
Very good points here.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Thanks. Check out the other posts in this sub as well.
Heypunk11 5y ago
Just my 2 cents but I want to thank everyone from helping me, I'm finally opening my eyes to the reality of my situation, I just dont know what to do.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Go through the posts in this sub. Also check out the sidebars in the main sub and trp. Feel free to reach out dude.
DirtieHarry 5y ago
OP, really appreciate you pulling the well written post together with sources. It was a very insightful read.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
My pleasure dude. Consider contributing to the sub if you want to.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Then you're going to like this sub.
[deleted] 5y ago
She went back to the time before she had discovered the opposite sex. That must be childhood, unless my math is way off.
DeeplyDisturbed1 5y ago
I once dated a woman who lived in a wealthy area of a large city. She was among the top 3 most beautiful women I have ever known. She had just divorced a wealthy guy (more of the Chad type) because he was a serial cheater (according to her).
Nearly every woman in her social circle was married to a pathetic (but wealthy) beta male. When I would attend their parties, these men had this sort of peacock thing happening. The social one-upmanship was everywhere. You could not pull together a group of three of them who could kick my ass - no bragging intended, just showing that they were THAT weak.
Nothing odd so far.
But then my girl would talk to me later. Most of these women were deeply unhappy.
This is just one girlfriend, with one group of friends, who lived in one building on one block in one city.
Let that sink in.
Needless to say, the fact that this was my woman's social group made me realize that my relationship with her was going nowhere. Even though at the time I was hearing these things, the relationship was strong and new and buzzy. A woman's friends speak volumes about her character.
So back to the quoted text above - this is absolutely true. My anecdotes above are just a few. I have many other examples, but /u/moorekom nailed it.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Excellent comment. Two things I would like to add:
The behavior of guys and the kinds of women it attracts.
I categorize men largely into three categories: betas, alpha fucks and alpha bucks.
Concentrating on the alphas, the analogy I use to distinguish the two is rock star vs royalty. These are completely different characters and the women they attract are very different as well. While the rock star might attract quality, he mainly attracts quantity and most of these girls are just sluts, party girls and gold diggers. A well brought up quality woman might never stay with him unless he was quality himself.
On the other hand, royalty certainly attracts quantity thanks to the status it brings but only a girl of quality can play at that level, keep the man and get the approval of their peers. Look at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. He fell for a gold digger and the world is harshly critical of him for it. Apart from fellow sluts, no one respects her for it. Prince William on the other hand gets an approving nod for choosing Kate Middleton, who is (at least on the outside) very regal and feminine.
I've also often noticed that as the status and the confidence of a guy increases, he does not try to amog/ one-up/ peacock anyone. There is a quiet confidence about a guy like this. He does not do anything flashy to gain attention. He does not necessarily stand out in the crowd immediately. But he gets the respect of a lot of people, mainly men and high quality women. He might not attract a lot of women because most women these days are only after AF^1 and they might mistake this guy for a beta. He attracts a select few women, one of them locks him down and she mate guards him.
When I started my redpill journey, I was a complete asshole. I certainly attracted women but I wasn't doing myself any favors when it came to my reputation or in attracting high quality women. In a certain social circle I was in at that time, I was nicknamed the village asshole. Sure it attracted attention but it also cost me a lot. As I went on in my journey, I have certainly tempered down. The way I interacted with women then and the way I do now are completely different. I no longer care about grabbing attention immediately nor do I care for girls who are into this. I might take my time socializing with a woman, but by the time I am done, we will never talk again or I get complete submission. I graduated from chasing women to select women chasing me.
If we examine the behavior of the guys you encountered, none of them belong in the AB category. They are all, at best, what I like to call as alphas with a touch of beta or betas with a touch of alpha. This is not very uncommon. Most guys, even guys who fancy themselves as redpill alphas, are like this. One of the common misconceptions I've seen in TRP is that LTRs are TRP on hard mode because you need to keep her hypergamy satisfied. Not only is this putting her value above yours, this is not natural when it comes to a woman's hypergamy.^2 Your job in an LTR is not to keep her by placating her or spiking her interest. All of this comes from the faulty logic of you chasing her. No, in a healthy LTR, you keep the bar so high the woman is chasing you. She makes sure you are satisfied. She makes sure the relationship is going well. She makes sure that you don't stray. She is happy that you chose her. If you haven't visited the sub girlsmiring in reddit, you should. The utter adoration that these women have for their men is something beautiful. All of this explanation is to punctuate the behavioral problems that these men have.
I do not agree that women like the one you described are alpha anything. They are just bitches. There is an effort by women to try to categorize themselves on characters that make a man attractive. And since a lot of these women are only mature enough to go for an alpha asshole, they tend to model themselves after them too. This is why you see a lot of vitriolic profiles in our subs where women take enormous efforts to be as bitchy as possible. They think that it comes across as alpha. On the contrary, this is completely unappealing to men. What defines an alpha female is her beauty, youth and her feminine behavior. That is all. No man gives a shit about her education or her ball busting characteristics. In the aforementioned social circle where I was infamous, I encountered a very cute girl who acted like a tomboy. She wanted to be acknowledged as equal to men and I clearly understood what her character and desire was (even when I was the village asshole). There was attraction on both ends, but I held off because of her unfeminine behavior. Matter of fact, I dreaded her hardcore accidentally because of the high standard of feminine behavior I expect from women I like. I never said anything directly but there were enough clues she understood why I treated her the way I treated her. And she became very playful, feminine and she started chasing me. Long story short, that did not go anywhere because I came to know that she was already in an LTR and that is a hard no go for me. Although I was bummed about that girl for a while, it opened my eyes to a lot of things: why I became bummed about her in the first place and also the fact that women just want a man they feel comfortable submitting to. All the standard she thinks she has is her just justifying to herself what kind of man she would be comfortable submitting to. The way most of these women act is simply because they are clueless to men's psychology and act based on faulty assumptions. I made a detailed comment here on the topic of RPW based on my experience with this girl and a few other girls I've encountered after that. Again, all of this is to punctuate why women are unhappy. They are acting completely counter to their nature. They are only happy when they are chasing men who are better than them. They are never happy when they fancy themselves as princesses and expect to be chased. I've said this before in some comments here: If a girl is to have any chance with me, she needs to understand that it is her and me against the whole world. It is not her vs me. Any girl who does not understand that or follow that will be dumped immediately and unceremoniously.
Edit: After finishing this up, I realize I would have been better off making this into an essay. It already looks like one. :)
^1 When women are wanting, they always look for leaders of men. When women can manage on their own, they look based on their vanity.
^2 I believe that when a woman is chasing a guy she is madly in love with, they are both in their natural states. She is happy to chase a guy who is clearly better than her and he is happy to have accomplished enough to attract such attention. Whether anything happens depends on his standards.
Cc u/where_muh_good_mens. I'm sure you'll like this and would love to discuss this when you're back.
DeeplyDisturbed1 5y ago
As always, you make some great points.
I should have called her the "queen bee type". I am not even sure what that means, but no matter what name we give her, she was the most dominant woman in that crew and they all knew it.
My relationship with that woman ended, but I ended it. She came back several times crying and begging, but it just wasn't meant to be. She is a fun-time party girl, not a partner. She wound up dating another guy after me, broke up with him, and then started texting me again. I am not particularly impressive, so it goes to show that all we read and write about here plays itself out on a daily basis all over the place.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
I call these women bitches. That's all. We can probably add a clueless and unfeminine in there.
That is besides the point. Beauty might lure someone in but it is character that keeps them. You do need to look good but your game is a lot more important. Women ultimately look for worthy leaders to submit to. I'm sure you know that that's why she came back to you.
Speaking of game, the utter lack of game in most American girls is a topic in itself. Not only do they have no clue about how to obtain relationships, they actually go about it in exactly the opposite path whenever they attempt to lock down a relationship. All a woman needs to do to get a relationship is to be pleasant and to submit herself to the guy. That's it. But, they can't these days because they are too invested in their feminism fueled egos to make that sacrifice. And they pay the price for it too.
[deleted] 5y ago
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Venicedreaming 5y ago
How do divorcee outrank single people?
[deleted] 5y ago
Women got swindled. They spearhead the push to be like men because:
A: they thought it would be easier (why else would men do that when they "control" everything?)
B: they saw ugly men with hot women and thought if they were rich they could do the same.
The worst part is because of group in bias they won't ever see the light. They are just to easy to manipulate, it's why corporation always go after them, and advertise them to have men spend money on them.
SomeGuy1251 5y ago
Pfffft
Swindled is not the right word. They deserve very little sympathy if AT ALL.
There is the old saying "you can not con an honest man"...now admittedly that is incorrect but the point is that con men and the like work by exploiting a vice or "evil" trait.
They were presented an unrealistic and harmful (to society, themselves, men, etc.) and gobbled up the offer. Now that the consequences have come (that quite frankly were obvious and told to them) , what do they do? Mostly shift blame, deny, continue , etc.
No they made their bed now they can sleep in it.
Popeman79 5y ago
Very well said. As nature intended, man and woman are polar opposites. Their paths to grow should be opposite too.
A teenage boy is insecure, seeks a set of values to follow, an identity. He often is too righteous for his own good, gullible and innocent to a fault. With trials and experiences he becomes a man, defines who he is, and from then on shall refuse to comply to anybody else's rules. He becomes a man when he stops being innocent and compliant.
A teenage girl is very quickly aware of the power her youth and beauty grant her, and her ego inflates. It doesn't matter if she's smart, has ideas of her own, has achieved anything: boys and men lust after her, and give her attention and validation. To become a woman, this girl has to realize that her looks are a fleeting thing, that she needs a man more than she thinks, and must find in herself to become humble, innocent and compliant despite the constant validation.
When a modern woman "finds herself" she loses exactly those two characteristics that men seek: innocence and compliance. Whereas men who embrace the feminist imperative and shame their own identity also lose the characteristics that would make them valuable: being unapologetically themselves.
Today's society is filled with 'strong and independent women' who seek strong independent men, whereas they can only find good-hearted, innocent and compliant boys who in turn wish they could find a good-hearted, innocent and compliant girl.
siriusisness 5y ago
Goddamn! Buncha fucken wordsmiths in this thread!
Blogginginvicecity 5y ago
Fantastic! Thank you. This comment is a great post on it's on, not to mention a great addition to OPs piece.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Very well said yourself. I agree. A man's greatest qualities are his capability and experience. A woman's greatest qualities are her innocence and compliance. Looks do matter but apart from that, this is probably the key defining traits.
Popeman79 5y ago
Sorry I failed to mention that I started rambling on innocence and compliance after reading the comments that you made that you linked in the OP. I obviously agree wholeheartedly with what you wrote.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Ha ha... Dude, there are no original thoughts. Every opinion we have is built on top of something we learned from another source. Your comment might have been inspired by mine in the other post but you did build on top of it. It serves as a pretty good summation of that post and a great addition to this one. I expect to hear more of your opinions.
blobsa 5y ago
nice and detalied l, i loved reading it
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Glad you enjoyed it.
faintingoat 5y ago
insightful.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Thanks.