Valentine's day gifts are the ransom you pay to release the hostage (her pussy) from your girl. Do not negotiate with terrorists. If she has desire, she would not really hold her pussy hostage. If there is no desire, it does not matter what ransom you pay now. You will pay more.

PS: Holding the pussy hostage analogy comes from the late comedian Patrice O'Neal. Credit goes to him for that.

Hehehe. I’m sure there are century old philosophy books written on this subject, but the travesty of modern Valentine’s Day is due to a concept of “Free Love”. “Free Love” is similar to Communism or for older folks, “The Playboy Philosophy”. Notions of where sex and love shouldn’t be bound by commercialism. Of course modern Valentine’s day is HIGHLY commercialized.

The dream of Free Love is that outside of arranged marriages, people would connect as “soulmates” and be selfless to each other. An ugly man could marry a pretty woman if his “soul” was pure and vice-versa.

This is Hypergamy Catnip for both genders (with caveats). PUA’s chase after hotter women by simulating an emotional connection but this is largely made possible by women desiring attention validation, good looks, and simulations of wealth (the man acts “intelligent”/“witty” associated with commercial success), wears stylish clothes, is in a top percentile of something, etc. Most women, whether they consciously admit it or not, play the game of men spending money and attention on them as essential for romantic courtship while she enjoys the goodies and delays marriage. Success for either is like The Prisoner Dilemma by denying that they are playing a one-sided game.

A woman psychotherapist who writes hypergamy relationship books told me that she supported OTHER women marrying down, but she wanted to marry up. But what if EVERY woman is like this and what if most successful men she desires don’t want to marry? Last time I checked, 20 years later, she was still single. What a surprise.

I’m chuckling because here was my Valentine’s Day: I made a surprise for my wife by buying and hiding flowers (Got them for $10 at Aldi, costs $30 at the grocery store. God only knows how much at a florist!) and a nice card and then hand-drew romantic calligraphy on the card that she was especially amazed by. She ran up and gave me a kiss. She gave me NOTHING else but that was ok. She was happy and for me, a “gift” is its own reward in this context.

About 2 hours later she remarked: “While I really liked that card, I would have preferred $1000 to spend on jewelry.”

I laughed out loud. I am not exaggerating. I truly belly laughed and wasn’t angry because there was no way I was falling for that. As a “game”, my wife played it lousy. I KNOW that $1,000 won’t be enough next year as Loneliness points out and heck, such a gesture isn’t “romantic” but “insecure” and we know how women treat insecure men. I am in Marriage Game mode. My wife saw I hadn’t fallen for it and I think I got a chuckle out of her as well. She didn’t ruin the holiday. She was still touched by my card, and I won a point in Marriage Game. We had a nice dinner at a family run restaurant we support with our daughter and exhausted went to sleep. I’ll get taken care of today while the child is at school.

I think Romance is still possible, but it can’t be “free” as in unrestrained. Only after a man has established and retains authority, either via the state or Men’s Game, is there a sort of soil for “romance” to grow and prosper in.

The Hypergamy Relationship Author had written in her book (that I still have in my book box) that she was angry when a boyfriend gave her a thoughtful card instead of spending money and she rebuked him. He apologized and spent money on her. We know how that turned out.

I was playing chess with my 5 year old daughter the other day. I beat her (not intentionally, I was trying to let her win) but I want her to learn the rules first more than anything. My wife is LOUSY at female hypergamy game and for that, I love her. And ironically, she knows she’s lousy at it compared to me and she loves me for that too. For now.

That’s modern marriage I suppose. There is no “happily ever after”. Marriage Game is something I never stop playing.

One of my closest friends has been kinda down the last few weeks. Friend and I got him something he'd absolutely love to cheer him up but he hadn't been around for several days so I couldn't give it to him right away (something personal, I'd love to share if I could. Worked hard on it and I'm pretty proud of it!). Timing worked out so we got to hang out with him yesterday. I had just described how awesome the last few days have been and he said to pass some of that joy his way.

Figured that was the perfect moment. We went into the other room and brought out the gift. He thought it was pretty awesome, then we told him that it was his.

He was happy crying over the gift. He kept hugging us so we wouldn't see him wipe his face. So many hugs. So much emotion, so much joy. My face still hurts from smiling that much. The gift only cost me $30 but I put 10+ hours into it and he could tell. He was just beside himself knowing that people were thinking of him. It ended up being the best valentines day any of us have ever had by far!

Now I try to imagine how far $30 would get me with a date on Valentines day and it's laughable. I've spent 10x that and never felt nearly that level of love or appreciation in return. No matter how much time I put into it my time would mean nothing. It'd be the $30, and I'd be torpedoing myself.