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lurkerhasarisen Mod 2y ago
i would be curious about what factors they looked at before declaring that there was no way to predict whether a relationship had "legs" that beat randomly guessing. We know that certain factors correspond with significantly different rates of marital stability, with the most important being whether or not the bride was a virgin.
Age and education levels also matter, although I suspect those are proxies for maturity. Religiosity also matters (although not as much as it should - a lot of people play church), as well as the stability of their parent's marriages.
In short, it's possible to bring divorce risk into single-digit percentages, but it requires ruthless vetting of prospects and your own actions. You have to be willing to walk away from trash women and trash habits.
Loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
Is this truly the most important factor?
I'd argue that it isn't.
I'd argue that the most important factor is whether the marriage deal is enforced by the community (in its many ways).
When marriage and all that marriage entails, is enforced by the community - the most obvious benefit is that a woman is not free to exercise her hypergamy once she's married.
A less obvious benefit is that the woman herself, thinks with an entirely different mindset and mentality.
It is within this context that marriage is much more balanced. It isn't equal, but it is balanced.
In a balanced marriage system, men's wants, desires and needs are important. Men living in such a system also think differently. One of the differences is that they don’t want women who aren't virgins.
They're allowed to have that preference and they overwhelmingly do!
Men in the west, aren't even allowed to think about such heresy. That's why many have convinced themselves that the past doesn't matter...
...until it smashes them in the face and they realize that it does matter after all.
lurkerhasarisen Mod 2y ago
Alas... we don't live in that world. Given that there is little or no social pressure on women to be good wives, the impetus must either come from elsewhere or not at all. Obviously it's not possible to know the future, but there are ways to stack the odds. It turns out that the single biggest predictor of marital breakdown is whether the woman is a virgin on her wedding day. The other things I mentioned also increase the odds, and if you stack the factors you can reduce the risk to a level that a man may find acceptable.
Oddest-One-Here 2y ago
And because we have not lived in that world for many decades now, men are increasingly walking away from the idea of long term commitment and marriage because there is no real benefit to them anymore, only risk and liabilities.
Loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
If nothing is keeping her in check, nothing is there to keep her in check.
Unless she keeps herself in check.... good luck with that...
Sure, it increases your odds, but that doesn't make it a good deal. At the end of the day, she's still an empowered wymyns. She still has that loaded gun that she can use at any time.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
Well said.
Loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
Thank you
Oddest-One-Here 2y ago
The lesson I got from the video is that even if you avoid any obvious red flags, the odds that you will enjoy a happy successful "Until Death Do We Part" marriage is a long shot in this modern era.
Loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
Good lesson.
Overkill_Engine Endorsed 2y ago
Heh. Reminds me of a quote:
“Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.”
moorekom Mod 2y ago
Good qoute.