Dedicated to exposing all the women who complain about wanting a "good man", to show women's poor dating behavior and unreasonable standards while offering little to no value themselves.
Impressive-Cricket-8
Posted 1y ago in WAATGM In The Making - Permalink - Locked - 8.3K Views
WhereAreAllTheGoodMen Sidebar
We're just a bunch of clueless NiceGuys™ with kindness coins that don't seem to work in women's holes so that the sex we're "entitled to" falls out. Because apparently we weren't demonstrating good relationship material through the attention, respect and stability that women demand. We were only "pretending" to be nice just to get laid.
In response to r/niceguys, this forum is dedicated to exposing all the women who complain about wanting a "good man" after dating jerks and riding the cock carousel in the prime of their youth, and think they're deserving of commitment and financial stability when all they have left to offer is their depreciating looks, narcissistic mentality, used-up vaginas, and another man's kids.
Women in their 20s have numerous opportunities to date the decent men they claim to want, but many reject or friendzone these men for jerks and promiscuity. She takes advantage of a good dude's kindness for attention and favors, then accuses him of being a bad person who thinks he's entitled to sex.
But when she's in her 30s with depreciating looks, jerks who won't commit, the likelihood of being a single mom, and the social pressure from her married friends, she asks "Where have all the good men gone?"[1][2] Funny how back when she was chasing the bad boys "Being nice is the bare minimum", but now that she's past her prime and needs a bailout, she wants a man with nice guy traits.
Furthermore, dating jerks and riding the carousel before settling down with a good man is planned by many women, and encouraged by feminists. They then come to the dating market with unreasonable standards while offering little to no value themselves. Such women are totally unaware that the mature, stable men they now need are the same decent men they rejected, except these men remember the rejection and are responding in kind to avoid unstable, unappreciative women who view them more as ATMs than romantic partners.
The reason women end up here is because their behavior is not exposed as the lucid, self-destructive, feminist ideology that it is. And we're here to help Good Men guard their commitment and resources by exposing women who would make poor life partners and mothers of their children. Providing observations and opinions on the posts here allows us to better understand women's psyche and later depressive/miserable state when they are not held to a moral standard required for healthy, functioning relationships.
Rules of conduct:
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1. No shaming men for any reason.
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2. No white-knighting or NAWALT. This is not a debate forum.
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3. No comments such as "Her profile looks decent", "She's not asking for much", "At least she's honest". No comments saying a post is fake without proof. Proof must be sent via modmail.
- 4. No brigading, doxxing or witch-hunting. Do not look for the individuals posted here, nor ask or give their personal info/social media, nor ask or give the source or you will be banned and reported to the admins. See here and here.
Rules for submission:
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5. Submissions must show a woman who is looking for commitment while also either complaining about jerks or promiscuity, needing her kids provided for, being entitled or unreasonable, or complaining that she "can't find a decent guy". (Examples, details)
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5b. No posts of women who are merely fat, post-wall, unattractive, seeking sex or money, nor women merely behaving badly. (Examples NOT allowed)
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6. No personal information in dating profiles or social media accounts. Take a screenshot and censor all names, social media, hometown, school, and place of work. Additionally, censor any children's faces if their mommy included them in any profile photos.
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7. No links to any subreddits or websites, nor crossposts where the OP is a woman. For articles use archive.is. For Reddit use a censored screenshot. Screenshots must contain the full story. No links to any women's Youtube, TikTok, etc. videos. Use Streamable.com to upload videos after censoring them through Musicaldown.com.
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8. We accept images from Imgur, Postimage, and ImgBB.
- 9. Other content may be posted on the weekends. See the types of content we allow.
Recommended reading:
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Dating profiles showing women's Dual-Mating strategy and unreasonable standards
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OkCupid study shows women reject 80% of men based on looks alone
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Milo - The Sexodus: The Men Giving Up On Women And Checking Out Of Society
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Women Want to Know Why Men Don't Want to Marry Anymore...Allow Me
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WAATGM mod explains why promiscuous women can't get good men to commit.
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Okay, I get it. You're sick of hearing men complain about girls only dating assholes.
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Dear Girls Who Are (Finally) Ready To Date Nice Guys: We Don’t Want You Anymore
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Dear Single Moms: I wasn't your type then, why am I all of a sudden your type now?
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The Truth About Single Moms Who Bring Young Children To The Dating Market
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Carol asks WAATGM for the harsh truth after riding the carousel
- Complete list of resources here.
Link Flair:
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The Big Question- Carol asks "Where are all the good men?", "Why can't I find a decent guy?", "What happened to chivalry and respect?"
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Bailout- Carol wants a man to help raise her kids and provide financial stability.
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Leftovers- Carol whines about how hard dating is as an older woman.
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Dual-Mating Strategy- Carol admits to promiscuity and dating jerks but now wants a good guy to settle down with. Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.
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Cock Carousel Rider: Carol complains about being single while having a history of promiscuity.
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Entitlement Princess- Carol has unreasonable standards while offering little to no value herself.
- New Carols Unlocked!- A list of all the Carols we've identified.
Content Archive:
Related forums:
DextroShade 1y ago
Let's read between the lines and get the truth here: she only wants him back because the kind of men that her parents would approve of won't take her seriously due to her being a single mother. So now she realizes her tatted up DnD-playing ex-husband is the best she will ever get, and her parents probably figured that out too.
Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
As Saint Kevin said: "you don't get any higher than your baby daddy."
Impressive-Cricket-8 Founding member of FapGPT 1y ago
This is an NPC: life just happens to her. She has never had her own mind - and still doesn't. She relies on outside approval - her parents (but it could very well be her friends or faceless followers in whatever social network with which she's obsessed). She cannot make her own decisions; only after permission is granted that she feels free to act. And she still cannot take ownership for her past, present or future - it's the hormones, it's the parents, it's the stress, it's the therapist, it's because she's a Virgo. This is quite a sad story, but not an unprecedent one.
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago Stickied
It is not a surprising story. She comes from a rich family and she seems to be pretty. All her life, she was adored, taken care of, fawned upon and protected. She does not have the maturity that comes from living life because most of it has been directed by perception and prestige. To make matters worse, her parents are elitists who ended up putting up their status above the happiness of their daughter. In this situation, unless I know this girl (and she sounds like a girl), I would blame them the most as well.
All that said, the mistakes of parents end up costing the kids. No one would care that her problems are because of shitty parenting. All they will see are the end results, as witnessed in the comment sections. If I know the husband and he asked my advice, I would caution him against getting back with her for the below reasons:
She sounds very immature and easily influenced by other people. First, it was her parents and now the therapist. What is to say that she will not be influenced by somebody else in a few more years? Maybe she feels neglected by her husband's preoccupation with his business to provide for his family and she ends up cheating because the new guy made her feel special. Can you really say that this girl has the mental fortitude to make mature decisions?
Even with all of that, I would not advise this guy to take her back immediately. She is only to be given a chance to prove that she has changed. If she fucks up ever again, she's out.
Impressive-Cricket-8 Founding member of FapGPT 1y ago
Point 1 is really the crux of the problem: she's as fickle as a candle's flame. Unless her enviroment can be 100% under control (and really, who has time and energy for that?), there's no guarantee she won't bail on her current partner because muh feelings.
She never developed her own personality, her own sense of right and wrong, her own limits; even now, after all that happened, she isn't a full grown adult. Even if her parents were absolutely against the marriage, she could have bitten the bullet and eloped. Instead, working in the family business was more important than prioritising her new family - maybe the money was good, maybe daddy was still paying for her credit cards, who knows. But she never drew boundaries, and I hardly think she will now - all that changed is that her parents realised they messed up. And still, only after they gave her permission to regret the divorce she admitted her regrets.
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago
Yes, what we have is a kidult who looks put-together on the outside and looks like a catch. Mature men would know what she is and would prefer to avoid her or to deal with her on a very conditional basis.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
This chick puts the "M" in Mentally Ill.
I knew a girl like this. And I got out of it (years ago). We didn't marry but were living together. So effing glad I took off, the last thing she did (I had moved all my stuff out while she was at work) was throw her purse up in the middle of the street screaming.
I was young and stupid and didn't break up with her via text, I did it face to face. This girl's post gives me the same vibes as my ex.
shudder
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Yeah I mean, I agree that this is ultimately her fault. But her parents are clearly terrible elitists as well who spoon fed her horrendous advice. They got her to go get divorced, and AFTER she had gotten pregnant. Did they think that she was going to find Mr Right with another man’s kid? Even if a guy gets past the kid, he’ll probably want to talk to the ex husband and learn why the divorce happened. He’d be out soon after.
LolTroll11 1y ago
Honestly, I think it was a status issue for the parents, they wanted a more presentable, more prestiged man.
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago
Then they could have built the husband up to that level. The problem is that they wanted a pre-made solution. Like most women (and people in general), they wanted a sure thing. They did not want to build somebody up. That has blown up on their faces spectacularly.
LolTroll11 1y ago
I find this drive of people particularly funny. People never want to invest in men and younger men are told to fuck off of they're not beautiful, rich or unnaturally talented. And when these men do find success society is shocked that they want to escape the matrix and basically don't want to have anything to do with the society, it's problems and be independent of the society.
Everpax 1y ago
When parents are wealthy enough, they don't even worry about provisioning, what they were concerned about is image: how the nerdy tatted up husband made them look at family gatherings, social events, etc. That spiel the parents gave her about how her ex didn't provide enough was just part of the smear campaign to lead to the outcome they wanted (have her find a more presentable man), and the daughter apparently having literally zero autonomy, bought it hook, line and sinker.
Unfortunately for them, the daughter they have now is a depressed single mom who isn't going to find a new husband anytime soon, hence the backtracking on the parents' part. It was always about optics, and will always be.
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 1y ago
I'm sure the optics are a big part of it, but there's also the shift in burden. When she was married, dealing with her ditziness (and her child), was her husband's burden. Now it's their problem.
Their attempt to play God and arrange everything and everyone's lives to their liking blew up, and they're in the blast radius. Their daughter is even more of a hot mess than she was before, and their grandchild is being raised by an unstable woman-child who is dependent on the family business for her income. Perhaps they've realized that they can no longer retire, because there's no guarantee that if they sell the business the new owners will keep paying her. Sure, she may be in management now while she's the owner's daughter, but if the ownership changes she's likely to end up on the street with a dependent child and nothing on her CV except having been given a job by her father. They are, economically speaking, parents again, in the sense that they're on the hook to provide (albeit indirectly) for a toddler.
If they fail to do that, there go the optics as well. The two are intertwined: how would it look for them to be jet-setting around the world in their golden years while their baby-mamma daughter and grandchild are living hand-to-mouth?
Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
This is precisely why arranged marriages fucking work.
The parents do the vetting, so they will NEVER undermine the husband because at that point it becomes "shit, we fucked up." They have ownership of the match.
The woman's fickle feelings don't matter for shit. Men usually do their duties in marriage, it's women who get lazy and dumb. The whole family structure in arranged marriages keeps that shit in check.
But whatever, that's just more of that stupid fucking #PATRIARCHY ensuring the best outcomes for women and children again.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
Situations like this are also a good example of why Welfare is such a poison to family unit cohesion. When all the involved parties know at least a portion of the burden can be shifted to the taxpayer, it disincentivizes wise decision making by mitigating consequences.
Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
The western woman is literally the product of diffusing consequences across the broad swath of men.
Think about it: there was a time when, if a woman was reckless, she was in actual danger. Now? Where are the consequences?
A woman can be financially reckless. Taxpayers subsidize women's shelters and food programs.
A woman can be sexually reckless. There are free clinics where women can get access to contraception, fetus deletus, and a woman can literally just put a baby in a box and walk away, consequence free.
A woman can be reckless about her relationships. She can knowingly date an abusive piece of shit and she will have somewhere to run to when she's tired of getting her ass kicked. She can call men with guns to stop the ass kickings at any time as well.
A woman can be reckless in her marriage. A man can literally build her a mansion and do everything right. Doesn't matter because when she gets bored (the only thing you can't do to a woman is bore her), sucks off her ex boyfriend in the living room, and gets caught she can leave with half of the assets and the kids.
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 1y ago
I can't imagine marrying a divorced woman... especially one who had divorced me. I don't have the stats for divorced couples that reconcile, but I imagine they're not very good.
In any case, if the guy decides that this can be salvaged, he should lay down some very strict and explicit boundaries that she could not even think about questioning. Quitting her job working for her father would be the first item on that list.
Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
It's like stepping in the same pile of shit twice. My dad remarried my harridan mother and it blew my mind.
My mom was an absolute bitch and he went back for more AFTER she cleaned him out in the divorce. It red pilled the fuck out of me and my brother watching it happen - we're both master bastards now and unapologetic about it.
I was visiting home one time and my mother lectured me on how I treat women (like bowling balls) and I had to pull her card. "I should treat women the way dad treated you? What did that get him?"
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
On the other hand, a truly humble woman who realizes how much she needs her husband's leadership and authority is priceless. This guy would have perfect dread game, a submissive wife, and she might actually thrive if she cuts ties with her parents and learns how to be a good wife and mother.
LolTroll11 1y ago
I don't expect that from a woman that couldn't even get a real job outside her father's. Would not
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago
Exactly. She is not mature enough to realize all that. The husband would have to take on the responsibility of making her responsible. From the sounds of it, he is not a strict guy. He doted on her too.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Not gonna disagree with either of you. Just saying, if ever there was the perfect storm for a woman to be really repentant and wake up to her evil tendencies, and to learn to be a doting and submissive wife the rest of her days with strict checks on her natural hypergamy, this is it.
Took my wife quite a lot of counsel, years, and tears to come to the same place.
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago
It's an unfortunate situation with a lot of potential, which is best suited for assholes like us. The husband does not sound like the type. Unless he has been hurt enough to become that guy, he is prone to get burnt again. From what we've read, his best option will be to walk away.
To add: in case of assholes like us, this situation would not have manifested itself in the first place. Either this girl would not have passed the vetting or she would have been handled much more strictly. A woman does not become submissive by herself. She submits to your authority, maturity and superiority.
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 1y ago
This is purely a thought experiment in the absence of data, but it occurs to me that she may have chosen a passive guy EITHER because her father is domineering and she rebelled against that by choosing a quiet nerd, OR her mother is a ball-busting shrew and she thinks that passivity for husbands is normal. There are other possibilities as well.
In any case, the parents own some of this as we have both noted. They did not prepare her for life as an adult. On the other hand I suppose we could ask about how they were raised by their parents, and how they were raised by the previous generation? I.think the quote about the sins of the fathers being visited upon the sons is mainly about that: bad parenting creates multigenerational dysfunction.
We can go all the way back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden if we want to, but at some point adults have to take primary responsibility for the results of their choices, and this woman is an adult.
As you and I have both noted on many occasions: as long as grown women demand the authority to act on their own, they must accept full responsibility for the consequences like men have to.
Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
I've noticed that women learn their behavior based on what their fathers let their mothers get away with.
If there is no father, well... It explains a lot.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
And that is why I am a proponent of paying close damn attention to a woman's parental situation as well as how she interacts with them when vetting.
If they are a shitshow and she is anything other than horrified by it and trying her damnedest to not be like that, it's a warning sign clear as day if one has the will to pay it mind.
LolTroll11 1y ago
The concept of marrying into a family has been pretty eye opening for me. It actually explains a lot of why things were like that in the past.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
External locus of control.
It's very important to be able to identify and avoid people with that. The chances of them ever taking personal responsibility in their lives is very very low. And trying to rescue one even with adequate precautions is just asking for them to drown you with them.
chunky 1y ago
She should give full custody over to him. It's clear he would be the better parent, and she can better afford CS payments.
Then she can try to get him back. But he would be well advised to say no.
LolTroll11 1y ago
Wow, I was surprised for a change, there. She claimed to take most of blame and responsibility, even thinking that she would be the most sane of all women posted here.
Then I read these words
Then it all came together.
I was fooled for a bit here, not gonna lie, thinking that she might be misled by her parents. But then I read this line and it clicked. I am reading a story about a college educated woman with a child, "model" and self proclaimed my life my rules. You're not going to influence her decision if she wasn't thinking about itself, push for it, yes, manipulate it, no.
Boar_excrement Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Fuck everything else: GET THE SON OUT!
This train wreck is already priming herself to mentally and emotionally abuse her son. This kid is going to face something worse than everything found in those DnD books: his mother.
Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
There's no saving throw for that!
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 1y ago
I actually understand the parent's viewpoint (although I certainly don't condone it). They undoubtedly struggled and sacrificed to build an empire, and raised a daughter who was going to benefit from all that hard work. Not only is she capable of profitably running a department in the family business (although she probably gets more credit than she deserves because she's family), but she was pretty enough to earn significant money as a model. She could have had anyone, yet she chose a man her parents would not have approved of. We have to be consistent if we're going to say that a woman should not marry against her father's wishes: she chose a husband who is "beneath her station" socially and economically.
That's not a slam on the guy: he chose a different path, and it's not like he's some deadbeat bad-boy: he is a perfectly good husband and provider. However, he is not the kind of guy that a successful businessman would chose to be the father of his grandchildren. My father-in-law wasn't intially all that thrilled that his daughter chose me, either, but I had higher status than he did. In this case, the husband is the one who came from, "the wrong side of the tracks." My wife moved up through marriage - this woman moved down.
I have no problem thinking that the girl's parents are snobs, but I also think that they had her best interests at heart. They probably know how hard it is to build wealth when you start out poor. It's natural that they would want to spare her that struggle.
The problem is that she married for luuuurve (which is obviously about as constant as a strobe light in her case), and set herself on a path for which there is no easy exit. A collision involving the two parts of her life was inevitable.
The parents could have said to her, "You made your choice, so now you get to live with the consequences." Perfectly legitimate: and although they would have not have had all the financial benefits, the struggle itself could have bound them together.
On the other hand, they could have offered to bring the son-in-law into the family business, too. Give him a place in management so she could raise the child(ren). Also a legitimate option.
But instead they did the one thing guaranteed to make everything worse: they sabotaged her marriage. To that I say, "You made your choice, so now you get to live with the consequences.""
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago Stickied
They thought they did. As you mentioned, if they had cared, they could have provided guidance to the husband on how to build wealth. They could have loaned him money to make it even easier. Another option is, as you mentioned it, to bring him to their family business and to groom him into taking over. The problem is that they wanted someone at or above their status for the prestige it brings. This is still a situation of hypergamy, but it did not originate from the woman.
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 1y ago
I see it more as a matter of not thinking things through than not caring about her (there's no doubt that they didn't care about him or the marriage). It probably never occurred to them that the best solution to the less-than-optimal situation would be to try to improve it rather than to destroy it and try to start over. I've written before about how fathers-of-daughters are major contributors to the problems many women have because they shield their "princesses" from the consequences of their bad decisions and blame the men they choose.
I think that's what's in play here. Rather than accepting that their daughter married a guy who's fine (but not in the same social stratum), and trying to lift them up, the parents defaulted to undermining him in order to get her to create the effect they wanted all along, which was to have him out of the picture so she could marry someone they deemed to be more "appropriate to her station." Because they're blind to her faults it never dawned on them that a man of the caliber they want for her isn't likely to want a woman with another man's child who is controlled by her parents and has already bailed out of one marriage.
You're right on about the hypergamy originating with the parents. Rather than her trying to "level up" (to use FDS parlance), she figured that her family's wealth made it unnecessary, so in her eyes she was free to marry for "love." It's no secret that some women have a soft spot for the "sensitive poet" or the "brooding loner" guys. The problem at that point was that her parents were hypergamic on her behalf, which made a collision inevitable when they torpedoed her marriage and thought that their little princess could stick the landing.
Edit: this is a twist on the usual AF/BB scenario where a woman goes for the kind of man she wants when shes young, then switches to the kind of man she needs when she can't get it. She went for the kind of man she wants and secured his commitment, but her parents didn't see him as the AlphaBucks they wanted for her, and she was too weak to stand up for herself.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
The problem is due to female hypergamy which we often discuss here: The men such women crave don't need or want to commit and the single mothers who try to get a bailout wind up miserable. In the 1950's through 1970's, hypergamy was possible because men were supported in that role as women didn't compete with men in college or the workplace. Boomer parents think "their little princess" is the "special one" entitled to a top man. They don't realize that women such as this girl are a dime-a-dozen. In a "free market" and equality, female hypergamy quickly collapses. Whether driven by the parents, or the girl, it, by definition cannot work just as everyone cannot be "above average" mathematically.
As moorekom points out below, the PROPER thing for the parents to have done would be: 1) Tell the daughter she can't marry the guy. Rude, but at least honest. I heard a story about a guy who dated a mobster's daughter that the father put $5000 on a table and told the guy "You don't date Maria anymore" and he picked up the money and said "OK." 2) Give the guy a dowry and pay for laser tattoo removal. Regarding his D&D habit: I say that as a man he's entitled to a hobby. As a son-in-law, he's not a servant who has to live at the beck-and-call of the parents.
And that's the final part of hypergamy I find amusing: When the hypergamous person thinks they're doing the other person a favor. Chad doesn't benefit from hypergamy, she (or her parents) do. This woman is NOT worthy of hypergamy. I'm glad she realizes that and her parents came to their senses.
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago
They obviously care about what they think is best for her. They just did not care about what she is actually happy with. The impression that I get is that this girl is too sheltered to be taken seriously and will need a lot of work to make her into a partner who would have your back at tough times, which is unfortunate for her because that is what you need in a girl beyond her cuteness and submissiveness. Her parents were destined to disappointment one way or another because of the piss poor job they have done at raising their daughter.
Let's consider for a moment that they did find an Alphabucks like they thought she deserved. What did they think would happen: the guy would cherish her and protect her like they did? Fuck no. Most self-made men do not want to raise their partner into adulthood. Even if some are fine with it, they will not tolerate the meddling that would come from the parents. She would have been dumped far earlier than in this scenario. The best scenarios they could have hoped for were finding a rich beta-bucks who would have bent over to their whims or a poor(er) beta-bucks who would have taken them seriously than they should be. With scenario #1, the guy would have been a doormat and would not have gained any respect inside or outside of the house and would have ended up as an unhappy househusband. If they had been wise, they would have realized that what she had was the best she could get and would have worked on mentoring the husband and pulled him up to their station. But, hypergamy is often a harsh mistress and they had to learn the hard way what her best option actually was.
kurkumaonce 1y ago
I'm reading your convo with @lurkerhasarisen - later skimming as theres planty of if and buts.
I ddn't notice you have separated parents into man and woman. Would a real man/father accept meddling in marriage to such extent? I doubt. Was he directed by his wife/mother, I can bet. Now we can add to the equation how OP was raised and what outcome it would bring having beta manipulated father as role model in her marriage.
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago
It does not matter. As parents, they are both at fault equally and they share the blame.
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 1y ago
I was purposefully vague because she didn't differentiate between her parents' level of culpability, and she didn't say anything about his parents, so any delineation on my part would be pure speculation.
(I try very hard to avoid speculating beyond obvious inferences because 1) I prefer to be accurate and 2) I have no desire to eat crow. That's also why my more lengthy comments generally contain words like probably, likely, generally, often, seemingly and usually.)
In this case, the guy seems to be pretty unassertive, and speaking as a guy who had to lock horns with my in-laws to establish boundaries, it's hard to do in the best of circumstances. Like I wrote up-thread: my wife married up the socio-economic ladder and I was a commissioned officer... in this case the woman married down the ladder and he's a DnD nerd. Again... I'm not faulting the husband: he's a laid-back kind of guy; but if it was awkward for me to put my foot down in my situation, it might simply have been more than he was willing or able to do.
That said, it's entirely possible that you're right about mothers hen-pecking fathers, which leaves their children ill-prepared for marriage, but there are other options that are equally likely in this case.
cc: @moorekom
whytehorse2021 Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Wow I can't believe nobody caught this: She's obviously posting on some kind of men's sub or relationship advice sub. She's probably been reading all about how her life is over as a single mom, that this guy was her best option, how she's messing up her kid, etc. Apparently therapy has correctly brought her to the source of her misery. Just one problem remains: she's asking strangers on the internet for advice about a major life decision.
kurkumaonce 1y ago
I can't judge others by myself, but when I ask about important stuff on internet it doesn't mean these will be actionable things, they can increase available pool of options I will choose from or combinations thereof. Doesn't that work in similar way when we learn life observing other adults?
If you consider that her parents failed [maybe the closest most trustworthy people she new up to the moment], what would be the harm to ask strangers?
Then people in our group might have agenda. Or we want to keep family secret to ourselves not to get leveraged on later.
That is ofc from male perspective. I don't know would that be woman's chain of thought. I don't know maybe she just plots slipping into his favours and once in, she'll be back to her old ways. So I do not talk about her per se but methodology she chosen to obtain more info.
If I'd be him and would take any risks I would ask for dowry marrying or not [calculating the risk of this going awkward and loosing child access], really parents should propose it to him.
Next divorce might not be so nice.
whytehorse2021 Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
If she has a therapist she should be asking them.