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Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Ah, the common thread..
Tingles.
Impressive-Cricket-8 Founding member of FapGPT 1y ago
Yeah, you.
Considering your history of relationships... Yes.
How many of those are there?
Yeah... I wonder why.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
I know a woman, mother of nine, who has had a hard life. Over the years her husband became really depressed, started overeating, gained many hundreds of pounds, and eventually was so obese he couldn't leave the house.
She never left him and was loyal until he died of obesity. And you know what? She is happier and wiser than most women I know.
When you marry, you promise to stand by your spouse in sickness and health. Your abandoning him will haunt you for the rest of your life (and it seems like it has).
whytehorse2021 Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
To be fair, he couldn't provide... which is a valid grounds for divorce. It's the woman's choice to leave or put up with it. I bet she was the cause of him being that way since she's the only common denominator here.
nicknack 1y ago
Yeah I’d be depressed and lose all motivation in life too.
[deleted] 1y ago
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NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
I mean I have no idea about her inner thoughts, so in that sense I don't know. I also don't know her extremely well. I know a few of her kids and grew up in the church she's still at. She's always had a reputation there as a loyal, wise older woman - other wives did not pass that test.
Maybe that was because she never had any other options, I don't know. I'm not trying to make her look like a saint, I am contrasting her with this woman who ditched the husband she promised to love in good & bad times.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
That is rare as hell.
Most women chuck a guy under the bus the moment they detect any kind of weakness. And that includes expressing doubts about the future, anything that diminishes her view of his stoic supportive role. I've known some chicks who noped out after a guy merely had trouble getting a new job right away, much less dealing with anything major health-wise.
Its so fucking true, as a litmus test, if a chick stays during the bad times -- you may have a keeper.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
The bad ones are the ones who leave. The worst ones are the ones who stay but then treat their husband with absolute contempt for not being a perfect demigod and do everything they can to make the relationship a miserable slog.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
OH for sure, if she turns into supercunt then that doesn't increase her value just for staying. I meant of course if she is still genuinely attracted and supportive.
PoopBeast 1y ago
I'm sorry to disagree, but I think it's important we keep each other honest here. If I married a woman and she gained a ton of weight and I was no longer attracted to her, I'm sorry; that's grounds for divorce. That wasn't the deal. No, I don't accept that "in sickness and in health" means the same thing as "you can become a different person and a fat slob who doesn't work". That said, I'm sure the man would tell a different story, so who knows.
nicknack 1y ago
Then honestly man, you are not for marriage right now. Which is fine. This lie women sell us every day about marriage being the the final goal has to finally come to an end. Marriage is the START, not the GOAL.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
I googled "legal grounds fault divorce” and health and employment are NOT listed. From the sound of her story, this appeared to be involuntary for the husband sounding a lot like PTSD.
I was ruminating on something a woman said “men aren’t chivalrous anymore” when, if a man was brave and risked his life to save a stranger AND got himself hurt, how many “ladies” of the modern era would date him? Heck, if he got injured to save HIS OWN WIFE in the modern era, how many of these women would leave ANYWAY? Many men wind up getting served divorce papers PRECISELY because they did what their wife demanded: Work 80 hour weeks, provide a big home, and such and she says “He’s boring and not fun anymore like he was when we were students!” Most men would be facing alimony if they tried to divorce a wife with severe health issues.
PoopBeast 1y ago
No...I'm not talking about legal grounds for divorce. I'm saying I would not blame someone, man or woman, for leaving someone who gets lazy and fat after marriage.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
I disagree with your concept of marriage, but understand where you are coming from. This is exactly why I would not recommend marriage (or any State/Corporate contract) to anyone unless he understood exactly what he was getting into, and how exactly it affected him.
"Just sign the paper, we promise it's legit" is never a good idea, and it's what many of us foolishly did.
PoopBeast 1y ago
But in this context "knowing exactly what you're getting into" doesn't make sense. We're talking about a sudden, unexpected change in a partner. If we're talking about someone unexpectedly not working, and unexpectedly becoming substantially less attractive because of weight gain that they themselves could prevent, and this happens after marriage... How does "knowing what you're getting into" help?
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
It makes sense when you use my concept of marriage, but not yours. That's why I said I don't agree but that I understand where you are coming from.
The point was that if you are marrying, understand exactly what you are getting yourself into - what you think marriage is, what she thinks it is, and the contract (with a third party) that has very little to do with your benefit and everything to do with stealing your resources and children.
PoopBeast 1y ago
Well what's your concept of marriage?
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
I feel that if a vow is taken that says "in sickness and in health" that's what it should mean. Same with "richer or poorer".
As you can probably guess, I think marriage in a "church" or religious sense is the only thing worth preserving (and even then it's questionable depending on who's defining it), but that the State has no business making marriage into a repressive, third-party contract where you sign your rights away.
It used to be culturally understood that marriage was for life, even if a spouse looked different or decided not to provide as much, or even if they were "abusive" (this is hard to define, but I think women are just as guilty). I'm not pining for the "old days", but I am one of the few men out there who has an excellent marriage, and I want future generations of men to have what I do. One aspect of that is that my wife takes her vows very seriously. Just by way of example, I've made under the poverty level in income for over 20 years, and she hasn't gone anywhere, even though she easily could have. That counts for something these days.
PoopBeast 1y ago
Hmm... Well, that sounds good and all, but imagine a situation where you get married, you don't have kids yet, and fairly quickly into the marriage your partner just stops making an effort and does something entirely preventable like gains a ton of weight, and you don't feel any attraction for them. In the woman's case, this is a double whammy because not only is there the weight gain, but her husband no longer works and won't try to get a job (like it or not, this is a component of female attraction, so we have to be considerate of this) and has now made a voluntarily choice to become completely dependent on you without getting your consent for this huge new life change that will affect both of you. You talk to your partner and it never goes anywhere, and they never make an effort. You've given this some time and you've been understanding. You're pretty sure you're not going to be happy staying with them in the marriage, and if they were able to turn their life around after you gave them the news that you were going to divorce, you would consider not divorcing them and they still don't do anything. Would you stay with them out of some sense of duty and obligation to your marriage vows like I think I understand you to say, even though you have no kids and are pretty sure you'd be happier single? If your answer is "yes", then yeah, I think we'll have to agree to disagree. To me this seems illogical if there are no kids in the picture.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
No, we don't. A vow is a vow. A woman who is "no longer attracted" to her husband should not divorce him. "Until death parts us" is fairly specific and not conditional. And again, in the past it was expected that a woman stand by her man no matter what (and vice versa).
I don't know what I would do, because I try to be humble about my own weaknesses. But I respect people who stick to their vows no matter what. I think this is universally respected - being a "man of your word", being "honorable". I expect the same of women who make promises.
The problem with marriage today is that we opt out when things don't go as we expect. Divorce is too easy for women, and they are rewarded for it. This is not working.
Totally fine, kind of what I expected. But again, I understand where you're coming from. I think there should be two "types" of marriages for this very reason, because people just say "marriage" and assume different things.
Aphr00dita 1y ago
So she married healthy guy and left the ashes behind.
Was that for insurance policy or faulty washing machine
whytehorse2021 Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Great example of solipsism. What does she expect to get as a 35yr old divorcee? When I was in that age range I was married to a hot, young Asian and making babies while being treated like a King. I was purposely avoiding women like her. She wouldn't even show up in my dating apps because of her age. She should feel lucky to find any man at this point.
mattyanon TRP Endorsed 1y ago
I can't comment without seeing pics of her. SOMETHING is wrong with her, and it's usually too fat, too ugly or too demanding.
Doricel 1y ago
Well........
Boar_excrement Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Wow. So because she exists, she feels entitled to the Universe changing to suit her needs and wants? She should check her privilege.
[deleted] 1y ago
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GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Translation: "There's something wrong with every guy FOR ME" -- No bitch, you are a complete nightmare chasing dudes you don't deserve, and the ones you do manage to land figure shit out and leave anyway.
But of course, it can't be her -- because... omigawd I'm a victim bullshit.
DextroShade 1y ago
From the tone of this post I can very likely deduce that she was the cause of her husband's depression, probably by cheating on him and being such an insufferable bitch that she drove the poor guy into despair. Now at 35 she is in no man's land and realizing that most guys don't see her as relationship material. But of course lowering her standards is unthinkable, she's a QWEEN dammit!