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yaxir 1y ago
you should have underlined the "It makes my nervous system feel unsafe"
lmao wtf is that line haha !
Loneliness-inc LvL 99 Rogue NiceGuy™ 1y ago
As you get older, you should start to have a more mature and realistic view of reality.
Reality is that you're already giving him your body!!!! You care more about where you eat, shit and sleep then giving him intimate access to your body?!?!?!
Please make this make sense.
Your shitty past - in its own right - makes you unworthy of marriage.
[deleted] 1y ago
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Justanaverageguy 1y ago
Agree to sign a pre-nup. In fact, YOU bring it up to him “hey, just so you know, I will be happy to sign a pre-nup if we get married.”
Do that and you’ll have a ring on your finger by this afternoon.
Lone_Ranger Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Not if he is wise. Pre-nups are not worth the paper they are written on. Lawyers love them - one hour fees to write up, years of work to challenge and defend when SHTF.
If you throw in a kid or two, and the family courts will cry with laughter at your prenup.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Unfortunately, you are correct. Even mega-rich celebs get thrown under the bus with prenups. I'd rather have one than not, but honestly avoiding marriage in general is probably the best play, as you said.
Sad state of affairs, I really hope to see a backlash on all this shit. If not for me, at least for the future dudes coming up.
mattyanon TRP Endorsed 1y ago
The only ironclad prenup is "do not marry, do not have kids with her, do not move in together, do not support her in any way".
Vermillion-Rx Penchant for plastic dolls 1y ago
She really went for AMALT in her analysis, didn't she?
Chances are this guy is her last shot at marriage. He's already decided she's worth 8 months of commitment and however long of dating prior to that. If she were smart she would wait however long it takes for him to commit for life and be on her best behavior so as not to fuck up her last best chance she has
But she won't. She didn't try to fulfill her relationship goals when she was young and fertile and is now trying to rush the clock and him. She doesn't seem to care nor respect his timeline, she wants internet strangers to confirm her own rushed timeline
Now. I admit this next analysis is conjecture and might not go this way. But:
More than likely she's going to get frustrated, possibly give an ultimatum, he's finna hold his ground, and then she is going to go look for a guy that gives her what she wants on the timeline she wants.
She's more than likely gonna spend another 4-5 years trying to find a guy that meets her criteria, and that's just to BEGIN dating the new guy who is gonna even remotely stick around for commitment, while her current bf is on his first wife and child that could have been her if she wasn't trying to rush everything
Edit: the "finna" was autocorrect but I'm leaving it in
Doricel 1y ago
If the BF stands his ground that means she gets into the dating market at 35 years old the earliest.
Good luck.
mattyanon TRP Endorsed 1y ago
Yes..... or try to get pregnant...... "birth control sometimes fails" (especially if you don't take it).
The problem with women is they've been sold sky high standards ("we all deserve a top 1% man") while simultaneously being told they don't have to lift a finger to improve themselves ("you're fine exactly as you are girl"), leading most of them to be vastly disappointed in life.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
My theory is that young women don't date with intent because it sounds too submissive and respectful of the contribution men bring to the table. "Girls just want to have fun!" and "gentle"men should bear all the responsibilities of "planning" everything: the dates and relationships. One woman friend of mine back 40 years ago said "It's popular for girls now to say they never want to get married."
Look at her victim narrative: She was "taken advantage of". How? Did these men put a gun to her head for more than a decade? She bought into the "fun girl" lifestyle to avoid having to admit that marriageable (boring) men have value and she got her bluff called. Not only that, why should this man accept blame for her problems with her exes?
Can we imagine how the internet would react if a man posted "I've been so hurt by women in the past. I need a woman to do extra work to handle that."
ZZoMBiE13 1y ago
'why should this man accept blame for her problems with her exes?'
They all do that crap though, don't they? My last girlfriend (last meaning former and last meaning final) spent 8 years make me pay for the sins of lesser men. And then she dipped the minute my life got tough. it's just their nature.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Damn, I know that feel.
Chicks bail at the first sign of difficulty. Its goddamned gutting, and even though I am glad I learned that lesson, it still sucks pretty bad to go through it.
MelkorHimself Mod 1y ago
I think it's simpler than that. The reason they don't date with intention is because they don't have to. A young modern woman is incredibly "wealthy" in sexual marketplace terms. She earns as much money as a man, can take care of herself, has easy access to a wide variety of birth control (and thus doesn't worry about promiscuity), and for the cherry on top she has a ton of dating options because of her age. She's got it made. Why would she have any motivation to settle down sooner than later?
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
Nonetheless, I think women are terrified of offending the feminine hivemind. Us men find this concept alien, but women are 10X more affected by cultural shame than we are (although that's a factor for many.)
I continually remind my wife to think for herself, and listen to me, rather than what her friends constantly push her. It's astonishing, really, the power of the feminine hivemind. Don't underestimate it. Imagine.... an infinity powerful computer program networked with millions of other computers but... retarded. That's sort of what we have in the west.
My wife is now nagging me this weekend to buy real estate. I have to educate her, again, that the market has peaked but her "friends" are bothering her about it. I fight against the hivemind.
Lone_Ranger Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Female hivemind real estate strategy: buy high, sell low.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Yep, this is why every husband should choose the pack his wife runs in. Basically, you become the people you spend the most time with. If your wife hangs out with sluts who gossip, disrespect their husbands, cheat, shop, and watch soaps all day, guess what your woman will become?
I purposely choose my wife's friends, groups, and even mentors. She respects and obeys me in everything because that's what her friends do for their husbands. Makes my life easier because the pack she runs in actually helps her become a better wife.
whytehorse2021 Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
My wife is all about Indonesian superstition. It's hilarious. Entire youtube channels of people dressed as ghosts. Every once in a while she says something so retarded it's intelligent like "get land with a manual well for backup so we have water after the apocalypse and all electronic devices are destroyed as foretold by by this Muslim guy wearing a McDonalds hat."
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 1y ago
Why is that even in your phone's dictionary?!
Vermillion-Rx Penchant for plastic dolls 1y ago
My fwb called me "betch" on text, so i started using hood talk. I used "betch" and "finna" so many times in that back and forth that my phone thinks "gonna" needs to be "finna"
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 1y ago
Why are you saying "gonna" instead of "going to"?!
*mental note to pile vcards upon you*
Vermillion-Rx Penchant for plastic dolls 1y ago
Finna be a lot of v cards betch
[deleted] 1y ago
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Vermillion-Rx Penchant for plastic dolls 1y ago
Someone doesn't read edits
have some v car.....
Oh. This is forums
[deleted] 1y ago
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Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 1y ago
Come join the conversations at the trp.red side of the site. I have plenty to dole out.
Vermillion-Rx Penchant for plastic dolls 1y ago
You never lost the one you started with...
[deleted] 1y ago
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AurelianWay Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
The clock struck midnight 5 years ago but our princess is still looking for her glass slipper. This women doesn't realize that she doesn't have the leverage to dictate things on her own terms without some compromise. It seems odd that she wants to marry first before co-habitating with her boyfriend. Either she has got baby rabies or she doesn't want her "partner" to see what she is really like if they happen to live under the same roof.
I despise the neutral title "partner". She's been with the guy for 8 months and is thinking about marriage. Can she channel some courage and actually call the dude "her boyfriend" or "her man". She has to be politically correct on an anonymous reddit post to a bunch of strangers.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Use of gender neutral terms is so cringe. I remember my friend started referring to his long time, live in girlfriend as his “partner” for awhile to avoid the cancel mob. I think he’s back to using normal human language, thank God.
But yeah, listening to social media clips about women talking about finding “their person” is a facepalm. What kind of person? A man? Because you’re only attracted to men. So I’d assume you want a man.
When I hear a woman using gender neutral crap, I assume she’s looking for a dominant man, just like every woman is, but she’ll also want to reign him in and be an “equal”. Equal under God, sure. Equal under the law, yes. But sorry, if a man is coming in with more years, more income, more experience, more physical strength, and more leadership; and he’s responsible for the function of the home to boot, then this isn’t a “partnership”. You’re a wife. Make his life easier and then get out of the way and let him lead.
Vermillion-Rx Penchant for plastic dolls 1y ago
It will be harder for him to kick her out and or breakup if they are engaged before they move in together
Also. If she gets engaged first she can fuck up more without consequence at home and also set the marriage tone and husband wife tone upon first moving in so she can sink her claws even further into pressuring him
That's what it is. She's trying to manipulate and coerce him instead of letting him propose naturally
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
She wants him to commit early so she can feel safe even though he doesn't have to.
In other words: She's in the same situation as most of us men. Even if we do everything "right", and read all the books, and do all the exercises, and we start a family with a woman who seems right... it can still go wrong.
If she had dated with intent, back in her early 20's and had 2 to 3 year courtships to marriage, she could have gone through 3, even 4 guys. Heck, it sounds like that's precisely what happened. She didn't allow herself to "be taken advantage of" once, but at least a few times.
Us men, however, we usually get 1 chance to get it right and then we're in single father mode either raising a kid on our own or as a weekend dad paying child-support or having to pick through single mothers.
She's griping because she got what the feminists claimed to want: equality with men.
This is her LAST chance and it's a good one and she's ungrateful.
No-Stress-Cat 1y ago
Smart dude. He knows it takes way longer than 8 months to vet a woman properly. She waited for the buzzer to decide she wanted marriage and a family, and the harder she pushes, the more likely he is to say fuck it and walk away. Are all men like this? No, but they should be.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
Yup. If anything men should take longer vetting a woman the farther away from "19 year old debt free virgin" she is. Because she's had more time to learn how to hide red flags as well as get desperate.
Lone_Ranger Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
He is not vetting I would guess, he finished vetting a long time ago and came to the conclusion that this woman is GF material only. He will carry on GF/BF because pussy on tap, and when she pushes the issue (marriage) he will bail.
I'm willing to bet my shirt on it.
Land_of_the_losers the-niceguy.com 1y ago
Eight months??
Pic889 1y ago
Gotta work fast when you are under a tight timeline.
Whether the man agrees to that timeline or even thinks in timeline terms, that's not her concern. You see, the world exists to serve her.
Lionsmane8 1y ago
Please, i want you to rush making a critical life decision that is going to impact the next 50 years of your life because it benefits me.
Pic889 1y ago
Lol true true. Not to mention that any woman that gives ultimatums/forced timelines for marriage is a low-value woman by definition, so you should not marry her on that fact alone. Just keep her at GF status and exhaust your free trial and then send her to her merry way.
Impressive-Cricket-8 Founding member of FapGPT 1y ago
And that's why you don't date with any semblance of seriousness anyone too close to her 30s. Go for a few years younger - not only won't she be rushing to the altar, but she will probably not be actively hiding her red flags.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Especially true at 35. You can see the desperation with this one. Guarantee that there’s been multiple dudes that have gotten 8 months in with this woman where she hasn’t felt unbearable anxiety about getting married. So why is it so imperative for this man to put a ring on her finger?
Oh I know! Because she knows that this might be her last chance. If he doesn’t marry her, her next relationship will start after the age of 35. She’s already at geriatric pregnancy age then. Also, women probably notice a huge drop in attention for every 5 years that they get older; those dudes set that filter from 18-34 and he’s not budging it a year older. If she doesn’t get this marriage, it’ll be desperation time for carrying on her genetics.
Lone_Ranger Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Look at how often she uses "I" in this text. She does use 'we' once, but she means 'I' when she says
"How can we start planning our lives together.." She means "I"
the answer is - you can't.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
If you wanted marriage, then why are you 34 and unmarried? If you want a family, then why are you dating a younger man who knows that he’ll be ahead of you in SMV in a few years? At 34, you should already be married with the kids.
Can this lady please share with us what she was up to throughout her 20’s? Wouldn’t be shocked to hear about “career” and “traveling” and “experiences” and that she wants to “settle down” in her 30’s
whytehorse2021 Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
I agree. They shouldn't move in together until they're ready to be married. To answer her timeline question: yes, after a year you should be able to communicate long term goals and make decisions based on those, including engagement and marriage. He's obviously not ready to have that conversation and is going to face problems moving in together without resolving intentions. She's taking a huge risk.
That being said, her ship has already sailed and she's kinda on the ropes at this point. She doesn't have the bargaining power she had 10 years ago. She needs to compromise. Maybe spend the next year or two sleeping over at his place taking it in the ass all weekend to prove she's a solid bet for him.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Agree with this. Like maybe she can convince this dude to put a ring on her. But she’s not in a power position. She basically has to prove that he’s going to get stuff that he’ll never get again if he tries to go back in the market.
Lionsmane8 1y ago
If more women were okay to share their man or at least look the other way while he's out doing his business, then we'd have a lot more marriages.