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cosmicbuffalo 1y ago
If she’d taken an Econ class she’d know about opportunity cost. We have one life, with a limited number of years. She made decisions which limited/reduced/eliminated her chances of having a happy home life with a husband and kiddoes.
Hopefully the next generation will learn from their mistakes. Luckily they’re not all this short-sighted.
houseoftolstoy Unchivalrous Christian 1y ago
I don't think she is necessarily "selfish" just because she is single at 38 (though she admits that herself and she does indeed seem to be just that). She is, however, delusional to think that she can start at square 1 in finding a husband and start a family when she is running out of time for that to even be a realistic possibility. If you are unwilling to get serious about having a family until it is most likely too late, then you should not be shocked if you are unable to make that goal a reality. She better hope that she really, really enjoyed those years of independence that she "needed," because she will most likely pay the price in solitude.
lemko1968 1y ago
She’s going to start having children at 38? Doesn’t she know there’s a greater risk for having a child with autism or even Downs Syndrome at that age? At 38, your children should be mostly grown and you should be thinking about them getting married or going to college or the military.
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]
ogrilla99 Pez "The Pussy Dispenser" Pimp 1y ago
Haha. I was literally going to use the NFL example!
Even if you believe this woman's change of heart is genuine, it's too late. Becoming a good wife and mother takes years to learn. IMHO, the biggest part of maturity is gradually learning that we are not the center of the universe. We start as babies where we literally think it: if something is not in my vision, it literally does not exist, and anything and everything in my vision is mine, to serve me, and me alone. Then maybe toddlers who still think they're the center of the universe but reluctantly realize they need to occasionally share that center stage with their siblings, classmates, etc. And then to adolescents / young adults who believe "the world is my oyster!" To adults who realize their lives are defined less by freedoms and more by responsibility to others: your work depends on you, your family depends on you, even your friends are a give-and-take sort of thing. And finally old age, when you realize the only thing that will ever live beyond you is what you did for others: the kids you raised, the people you helped, etc. Their memories of what you meant in their lives (both good and bad) are the only immortality you'll ever achieve.
This woman is stuck in adolescent mode. I'll give her that maybe she's ready to start the process of maturing. But unlike an adolescent, who has at least a decade to do it before becoming parents, she has no time do that and become a parent. She needs at least several years to really become the person she wants to be -- assuming no missteps, and to prove to others that she's really who she says she now is. By then, the chance of having her own babies will have passed. Maybe she'll go the route of other selfish people and have a test tube baby by herself. But there are very few men -- even ones who are okay with a woman at the tail end of her fertility -- who won't want more proof of her transformation than just her newfound words.
Her best bet is probably, as @chunky mentioned, to find a single father with primary custody of his young children (hard to find already), after she's spent a few years actually preparing for what that life really entails.
Land_of_the_losers the-niceguy.com 1y ago
I wish I'd heeded your warning, sir.
Justanaverageguy 1y ago
And look where all that independence got you. Alone and no prospects. Way to go dumbass.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Empty egg carton.
Yeah, that isn't gonna work, not to mention that she's absolutely bottom-tier in attractiveness.
Seagram7 Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
It's crazy how women know every last detail about sex, their pussies, their menstrual cycles, every form of birth control, etc. yet are completely clueless when it comes to their eggs. They think they have until 50+ to have kids, with zero change in fertility until then. It's insane how delusional they are.
Fertility drops a bit around 25, takes a bigger drop at 30, and takes a nosedive around 35+. By around 40+, it's nearly impossible to conceive naturally and without lots of help. And no, freezing your 40yo rotten eggs won't help. It'll be the same success rate as if you had tried naturally (2-5%). And that's if you have normal fertility for your age. If you're fat, eat slop, were on birth control, etc. you can expect your eggs to be fried and have about a 1% chance or less. AND that's before we even get to the topic of genetic issues.
Seagram7 Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
You beat me to this. I just found it and was going to post this girl. This girl blaming feminism has been the hot topic on the manosphere. PJW has a good vid on her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycAy_dFq43w
Well it sorta makes sense. Imagine if every single piece of media, every news talking head, every article, everyone in your family, everyone in academia, every movie, every song, every friend and acquaintance you had, and every construct and organization imaginable in the world around you told you "hey man, you don't have to get a job! just live in your parent's house until you're 40 and then start looking for chicks! they'll be all over you!". Then you get to 40 and you have no skills, no experience, no money, and you're fat and ugly and get no women. This is essentially the functional equivalent of what women are being sold
More excerpts
LMFAO she had it all handed to her on a silver platter and she threw it all away. For thousands of years, we’ve known that waiting too long to have kids is a bad idea, and that women past 35 or so who don’t have children are basically witches. They might have purple hair nowadays, but they still have a million cats and poison local water supply with their meds, so little has changed. This 304 was too stupid to listen, wanted to “find herself”, and now she’s fucked. She’ll be a pump n dump for the next 10 years, and then she’ll go fully insane and start collecting cats.
Edit: You posted her replies to the original article where she blames feminism for putting her in this situation. In her first article, she was blaming feminism for her bad choices and basically saying her situation was not her fault. She was mislead down this path. Now seeing her rebuttal article you posted, she now backtracking and trying to justify her situation.
I'll post the original screenshot so we can compare
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
Here's what I think happened. Back about 40 years ago, dual mating strategy was different. Women didn't bang Chads when they were in their 20's, but rather secured resources from Beta Bucks RIGHT AWAY. They'd "settle" with having kids and leading committed lives until the kids got older and went off to school and would think to themselves "I'm still hot. I could have sex with more exciting men and even better, get child-support and perhaps alimony and community property to fund that lifestyle!"
In other words, back then they didn't bang Chad before they got the Beta Bailout, they banged him after having secured the resources.
And think about it: Back then when most pretty women were advised by society that becoming a single mother to some deadbeat's kid was NOT a good idea, it was more difficult for Chads to get these women into the sack so the Chad's stuck with late 30's/early 40's divorcees.
Then when they hit their 50's, they'd go on a third wave and look again for another BB to bail her out for retirement.
I have a cousin who went through this. He married a conventional bourgeois woman in his mid-20's and had kids with her, all was going well and she divorced him and hit the bars. My cousin wasn't bad looking. Although he had a huge gut, he was tall and had blonde hair and blue eyes. He wound up getting what looked like a younger model of his ex wife while his ex-wife married a guy who looked almost like a clone of himself. I liken it to these women going to the used car lot to trade in their used car and buying some other gal's unwanted car.
Anyhoo, it's different today. Today, there's no social stigma to chasing Chad in their 20's and they can enjoy the most hedonistic lifestyle available. We can appreciate how tempting it is when you have the ability to bang supermodels rather than marry a frumpy "nice girl". Yes, perhaps they want a family when they are "ready to settle down" but this gal at least doesn't live with regret about the good times she had. She doesn't like that it had a cost, but she at least knows that it was a cost she agreed to pay for. In that regard, she sounds remarkably responsible compared to other diatribes we witnessed.
woodsmoke Respectful reprobate 1y ago
You had me until the last bit. She acknowledges she's lived selfishly but I'd argue the fact she still thinks she can bag a husband and start a family when she's knocking on 40 clearly puts the lie to any claim she understands there was any cost to having done so, let alone any sort of acceptance.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago
Consider that this sounds like acceptance in her own way: She's trying to spin it positive, that she has no regrets, and that's she's "cool" with it because that sounds better than crying her eyes out that she's an empty egg carton. Women care a great deal about being perceived as "cool" particularly by other women. She's not raging against the system hoping to shame alpha bucks into compliance, at least.
In her own way, this is the ultimate act of selfishness in that she doesn't want to warn other women to not make the same choices she did. It takes guts to get up in public, admit you made a mistake, and hope that others can have better lives but it doesn't look "cool".
She claims she is "ready" to take the family deal she had back in her 20's, on THOSE TERMS, even as she has less to offer than she did back then. Nowhere does she says she's willing to compromise significantly on looks and status in a mate or to do heavy lifting but again, that wouldn't be "cool".
sean_karaya Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Granted, I do not have the ability to bang supermodels. But genuinely in my teens and early 20s blu pil days. I wanted to be together and build together with a moderately pretty nice girl. My only expectations were not a lesbian presentation in clothing and haircut, and similar hobbies, goals to me.
And now in my mid 30s, there is nothing I can tell myself, that'd even make a supermodel worth anything.
woodsmoke Respectful reprobate 1y ago
You too, eh?
I had my flights of fancy during my teens and 20s just like every kid does but, no matter how much ill-advised tail I chased and all the poor decisions to which such a pursuit inevitably led, the fundamental through-line was always the simple desire for a good woman with whom to build a decent life.
Granted, I had a genuine shot at that when I was 18, which is more than a lot of young men can say these days. I screwed it up because... well, for a lot of reasons; chief among them I was selfish and shortsighted, just like the woman in the OP. Difference being there's no one rushing to reassure me it wasn't really my fault and I can't be blamed for my mistakes and poor choices.
Thank God.
Impressive-Cricket-8 Founding member of FapGPT 1y ago
So she writes an essay about how she never cared about anyone or anything but herself - and still doesn't, but now wants a husband and child (because everyone in her social circle has one and she cannot be an outsider). Then is surprised that reality doesn't work the way she wants. And write a second essay about how she's right and everyone else is wrong (but - hilariously - can't let go the comments made about her appearance).
She should try a matchmaking service. I hear it's all the rage right now.
chunky 1y ago
Simple. She can find a custodial father and become a stepmom. They're a package deal! She wouldn't even have to quit her job, AND she gets a stay-at-home dad in the picture!
Bob_and_Virginia Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Eww. Better she doesn't reproduce anyway. Look at that face!
Lone_Ranger Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
When you look at this quite ugly woman, you have to remind yourself, this is her BEST photo. She is wearing a tonne of makeup, and has had a variety of expensive proceedures - hair extensions, botox, fillers, dermo treatments, hair extensions and veneers on her teeth. That's the beauty treatments that are visible - there are probably more. This is her best photo, chosen out of thousands, her best angle on her best day.
And she is still ugly. She is starting to look like Jocelyn Wildenstein (google link)
https://www.google.com/search?q=Jocelyn+Wildenstein&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiqr8i19ZODAxUVbKQEHaS3DRwQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=Jocelyn+Wildenstein&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzINCAAQgAQQigUQQxCxAzIKCAAQgAQQigUQQzINCAAQgAQQigUQQxCxAzIKCAAQgAQQigUQQzIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDoGCAAQBxAeOgcIABCABBAYUOQIWOQIYP4LaABwAHgAgAFTiAGVAZIBATKYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=opJ9ZarWBpXYkdUPpO-24AE&bih=945&biw=1920&rlz=1C1CHBD_en-GBGB893GB893
The reason why this woman is single (and will remain so) is that all of her friends are 'yes girls'. They tell that she is 'amazing' and 'so beautiful'.
She is not. She is really quite ugly. She has a very very inflated idea of her own value.
If she were beautiful, her SMV value in the market place for men would be very close to zero (because of her age) but the fact that she is ugly and delusional and entitled gives her a net negative score.
She has never been told this. Its plain to see.
ogrilla99 Pez "The Pussy Dispenser" Pimp 1y ago
She's been told it now in numerous comments and she still refuses to accept it.
See, when a bunch of random thirsty dudes press 'like' on your instagram shot, women take that as confirmation that they're beautiful. "See! I got 100 random button clicks from people (and bots) I don't even know! This proves I'm hot!"
But if those same random internet people tell you you're not all that, then it's all "who are they to judge? They don't know me!!!"
Lone_Ranger Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
You go girl!!! Yas queen! SLAY
sean_karaya Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Being selfish isn't always a bad thing.
Fair point, skank - but fair fucking point.
Men also have the right to be selfish, if an aging painted over "finally ready" jenny does not fit their standards
slowlylearning1 1y ago
I'm 41, and know many women from school, youth around my age who didn't marry, settle or give birth.
All have the same back story. Go getters, too good for the average Joe's of hometown or artist/hipster types. Some still live and behave like they're 21.
Heard people mention late 20s is a big milestone for women eg fading looks realisation etc. Well that's the two minute warning then, well at her age it's full time.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
The superpower of being a man is that we can be 40, have nothing going on, and it’s still not over. Get some sort of trade and work hard, by 45 you can easily be making an above average income. Keep showered regularly and exercise on top of that.
The horrifying realization that these women have is that everything in their life is deprecating. Their looks, their career and status (having a byline probably gave them a massive ego boost when younger, but now it’s just an ever growing “talent” pool of marginally employable blow hards competing for less jobs), their social relationships. Everything.
If she’s lucky, she’ll have a pack of friends to stumble into old age with. The more likely scenario is that she’ll be latching on to the families of her nieces and nephews in the hope that someone cares about her.
slowlylearning1 1y ago
That´s a great point.
Up to a year ago, I was riddled with low self-doubt/confidence, and its mostly down to me being an absolute betafied pussy for 10 years and not learning proper skills like DIY, I only recently learned how to change a tyre, but I am seriously considering going back to school to learn a trade - I've given myself 3 months to research this and make a decision.
I have worked for 16 years or so in healthcare. It's a female-dominated environment and I have had enough. There are some decent women no doubt about it, but I've seen women 'in their own' and around themselves, and its a nightmare to work with. Meetings about meetings ; mood swings almost day by day ; and to top it off, just boring shit topics if its not that its TV (and all the shit they watch is shit by the way). There are a few cool ones too ; but I am ready for put my hands down folks' toilets if it pays well and gives me a sense of independence.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Yup. And conversely, how often do you see single, post-menopausal women in positions of power? You’ll see the top 1% floating around, sure, but most of them are just miserably going from day to day, working a job that at best affords them a modest condo (where, in a city like Boston, you’re still looking at around $400k for anything decent, unless you want to live in an unsellable 1 bedroom). And women simply can’t do the blue collar stuff that can also afford a nice living long term; there’s a reason why many countries set the retirement age as younger for women.
reignoferror00 1y ago
"I wanted to justify and defend myself" ... but then I realized I just had to twist the meaning of those hurtful words to mean what I want them to. Except for the important things .. like my eyebrows; comments on those is just crossing a line.
No need to look into the mirror and reflect on myself (because an emotional vampire like me doesn't reflect ... duh!), my character and life choices. Logic and biology have no place here! Begone!
Now where did I put that special button to press to invert my personality and rejuvenate my eggs? Must be next to those crystals that will draw just the right man to be a husband to me.
No-Stress-Cat 1y ago
Oh nice. She has a therapist. Where there's a therapist, there's medication. The least she could have done is brushed her hair. Not a good start to finding a man if you can't make it look like you care about your appearance. I presume that picture was taken in the waiting room of her therapist's office. She looks like she hit the wall face first...very hard.
That timeline she presents goes one of two ways:
This one's done for. Somebody send over the cat brigade.
MovinCruisin 1y ago
What fucking years of independence? If I read that correctly, she spend most of her 20s and 30s in relationships. Like, what???
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
Her “independence” was likely dating some dude who didn’t really give a damn about what she did, who was never going to stick around once she started complaining about wanting kids
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 1y ago
One of several things that jumped out at me was her assertion that her life of independence and self-focus prepared her to make the switch to a life of compromise and sacrificial giving.
She was married for eight years in her 20s and had the opportunity to have the life she now desires, and she tossed it away because that's not the kind of life she wanted. So after failing at the wife-and-mother thing at the time when she was best suited to it, she rejected it and then spent the next decade being the polar opposite.
Now that she's become accustomed to living as a bachelorette and being well past the window for what she already threw away, she says that she's ready NOW?!?! And we're supposed to believe her? Some man who can get a much better woman is supposed to spend his one, best chance on HER?!?!... a woman who has never demonstrated the slightest desire to be a TradWife, and has lived her entire life being the opposite?
It would take years for her to demonstrate that she's changed and that the change is permanent... years she doesn't have.
moorekom Urban Hoe Guerrilla 1y ago
She has years to give to a much older man, but she cannot have the kids she desires. Like most women, she can get a bailout if she is smart about it. She isn't going to be, like most women.
ogrilla99 Pez "The Pussy Dispenser" Pimp 1y ago
Exactly! This is the part she still doesn't understand. I'll give her credit if she actually did genuinely look through the comments for some insight that might be useful. But she obviously didn't find what was lying in plain sight.
She acknowledges she lives a selfish life upto now but now she's ready to live a selfless life. Prove it. Maybe her heart is actually in the right place, but if I'm a man looking for a wife, where's the evidence that she knows the first thing about living such a life?
This idea that spending decades whoring around and being selfish is somehow the pathway to becoming a person who's ready to commit and sacrifice for others would be laughable if it wasn't ruining generations of women. It's as ridiculous as saying that spending decades eating McDonald's is the best way to prepare for a life of being a vegetarian. "I got my desire for beef out of my system! Now I'm ready for a life of lettuce and fresh broccoli!" Yeah no, it doesn't work that way.
She also says "Though I've enjoyed being selfish up until this point, I've started to feel that type of life lack meaning and purpose for me". Great! But realizing the problem is the easiest part. Implementing the solution is always the hardest. I mean, if you eat McDonald's every day and then one day realize you're fat and your heart is about to explode, that realization doesn't automatically convert you into a healthy eater. Now comes the hard work of learning how to eat right, exercise, etc. And that's where most people (including, likely, this one) will fail. It's not like fat people don't know they're fat...
Lone_Ranger Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago
I've spent my life as a broke, bald, fat unemployed man of 5"3 living in my moms basement.
But....now that I have turned 40, I am ready to be a tall, hunky, very rich, good looking chad! Where is my princess?