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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 9mo ago Stickied
Part 2 of a series. Originating post that this Carol is responding to here: https://www.forums.red/p/whereareallthegoodmen/322347/i_m_a_single_mom_who_is_ready_to_give_up_on_men_because_they
Another response to the main post here: https://www.forums.red/p/whereareallthegoodmen/322349/i_can_t_find_many_men_that_are_looking_for_more_than_just_se
Lone_Ranger Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
"I'm sexy as hell"
No.
"I'm smart"
The situation that you find yourself in proves otherwise.
"I'm funny"
I am not laughing.
Ps. I like the way she says "...made me realise it may not happen for a while". Contained within that pearl of wisdom is her idea that things might get better in a few years time. My observation of how these things pan out says otherwise.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 9mo ago
She sounds like an insufferable elitist even before considering that a 30+ year old single mom divorcee is not dating material that is in demand by men.
Boar_excrement Jr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
Boo hoo.... Her dating pool is so small. Well sweatie, look at it from the men's perspective: the pool is overflowing with single moms. The fact that you think so highly of yourself only further limits your attractiveness. Arrogance does not lend itself to respect. Men want the latter, not the former.
SwarmShawarma 9mo ago
She should realise at some point why there are jokes about women fucking German Shepherds. And no - this jokes are not only about the Schwarzwald's women. This are jokes about women that thought they were smart.
Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
Divorced post wall single mom discovers all the men she would consider dating are taken.
News at 11.
Land_of_the_losers the-niceguy.com 9mo ago
A town where the IQ is low? Hahahaha...
What, some lead-mining community? The nearby factory was leaking brain-retarding chemicals into the water-table?
In such an environment, her own kids are "perfect", thank god. Phew. That's a relief.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
Lake Woebegone, where all the children are above average
houseoftolstoy Unchivalrous Christian 9mo ago
So if we do some simple math, she had her first child at 19 years old, which means she got pregnant when she was about 18. While you can get married at the age of 18, I am going to bet against this being the case and make an educated guess that she was not married when she got pregnant. Perhaps she did end up marrying the father, as that would at least line up with her being divorced. I will also acknowledge that this is a charitable interpretation, as it is easily possible that she married after this to someone who was not the father of this first child.
Even with the most charitable interpretation, she is not demonstrating that she is really all that above the "education level and IQ" of the area she is living in, as her past decisions are not reflecting well on her own intelligence. And who is to say she is accurate in her statement of the low IQ/education level of her small town? More likely, she has less options due to her being a divorcee with children in a town where people are far more likely to be familiar with everyone who lives there than a more populated city. It is more likely that the single guys she wants are not interested in her, given her status as a divorcee with children.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 9mo ago
That's the real thing women hate about small communities, is how easy it is for them to actually face consequences for their choices. If a woman gets a reputation as a town bicycle and/or for disloyalty, it completely shuts her off from a lot of social circles and access to men that anonymity would have given her a crack at.
Edit: Same reason many of them are starting to whine about hookup culture. They've spent the last two decades basically telling on themselves via social media and dating apps, and it isn't working out like they'd thought it would.
Seagram7 Jr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
And this here is why I always want to add to the Red Flags list: girls that move here from somewhere else. I am suspicious of any girl from her late 20's and older that decides to move to a new city, state, entire different coast. She burned bridges and/or got the slut rep and her best course of action is to move and start somewhere new and start her reputation fresh as a chaste good girl. Plus she doesnt want her new Beta Bob to run into the Chad weed dealing gangbangers she use to "date," so it's easier to move and start over fresh.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 9mo ago
@Overkill_Engine @houseoftolstoy It's easy for us men to forget that women use a totally different language than we do. When she says, quote "I can't find any single guys", that means to us men there are literally no single men there despite her earnest searching but she also says "dating pool of reasonable men is small" meaning there are single men but just not as many who meet her demands as she would like. Also, when a woman says she can't "find" men, what that means is that she's not getting approached by hot guys with zero effort on her part.
The believe relationships are like the Magic Coffee Table: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_kXIGvB1uU
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 9mo ago
Yeah the specific equivalent for women is the Magic Lawn Mower of Home and Vehicle maintenance. They completely take for granted that men either tend to be stuck doing those things or paying someone through the nose to do them (which means more hours and effort at a job he already doesn't do for the sheer joy of it) while also being expected to do the heavy lifting physically and financially to begin with, while also having to cash whatever checks these women's mouths wrote in so many other ways. And men are the ones expected to initiate relationships and take total responsibility for any failures while ceding any credit for success, and not roll our eyes when a woman gushes that a relationship "just happened" somehow.
So I tend to not be very sympathetic to them whining about doing laundry and dishes. Like, bitch, you are getting off cheap in comparison. Especially in a DINK situation where the woman is basically an expensive roommate that can take half or more of everything when they move out.
houseoftolstoy Unchivalrous Christian 9mo ago
@polishknight @Overkill_Engine
Yes, you are correct that women who say there are "no single guys" always have the additional part "that I find attractive," whether they are aware of this or not. I can understand that women will generally not just want any guy that is available, as they will always want the best option they can get. The issue comes when women like this fail to understand that they are aiming too high for their options. For women who have any aspects to them that would make them less of a catch, they will need to find some sort of compromise if they want to have a relationship. Though many women do not want to compromise, or at least not compromise nearly as much as they need to.
I can come up with a list of things that woman can compromise on that should be reasonable:
-Income: Mainly just accepting a more modest income as it turns out there are many things in life you can live just fine without.)
-Height: Men on average are taller than women, so it should not be hard to accept that she should be willing to expand her range to men whose height does not start with a 6. And nothing wrong with having a relationship with a man her height or gasp shorter than her.
-Looks: Should be self-explanitory, as women often will say that men are shallow, but they fail to realize that they have their own shallow perspective in how they rate men in looks (and if we take the OKCupid study as a reference, women show that they are worse than men with this). Women do not even have to "downgrade" much in their looks criteria in order to expand their options greatly.
-Any other trivial matters that should not be dealbreakers: Every person is a package deal. Not every part of the package may be ideal, but that's life. Some women have the luxury of enough options to filter on the most nonsensical factors. But for women who no longer have this luxury, it should be clear that ridiculous dealbreakers should not be dealbreakers at all.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
I suggest you move to the city where there are lots more eligible men...
...as well as actual desirable women, your primary competition for said men.
What you want is not more men, but less competition. That's why you won't move, because you know you couldn't compete in a city market. You can't even compete in a rural one.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
What this really means is that she’s surrounded by men who aren’t pursuing a life path that programs them to conform or face ruination. Regardless of IQ. Since they don’t tell her exactly what she wants to hear, the only reasonable conclusion (in her mind) is that they’re dumb.
I’m a millionaire before 40 and I still sometimes feel a little jealous of small town dudes who work with their hands, began doing so at 18, and had a modest home that they can live in for decades by 25. All the while are free of corporate diversity efforts and obedience to “the message”. Also, I bet you that no one requires 10 years of experience and a master’s degree to be a handiman, just that you can use the tools well.
But apparently working for dipshits that give themselves raises and bonuses while laying off 15% of the underlings is what a truly enlightened person does.
Land_of_the_losers the-niceguy.com 9mo ago
That quoted line is straight-up Dunning-Kruger talk.
The way she describes it, I'm envisioning some kind of benighted community in the Ozarks where the 15 registered pharmacies somehow manage to distribute 45 million opioid tablets per year without a single active storefront.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
Don’t get me wrong, we’ve seen many groups, and many of which are right leaning, conclude that the most intelligent young people from rural areas tend to leave for larger cities. So she’s probably right in that she isn’t finding intellectually remarkable people there.
But if you’re from a small town, and you want to live in a small town, what use is piling up degrees? You can easily be above average in intellect and decide college isn’t for you. You can also have an IQ below body temperature and get a masters degree these days. Hell I’m pretty sure a sub-room temp IQ can cobble together a bachelors if they worked long enough.
She just hates those that are around her. As a conservative who lives in a city, I rarely if ever use insults like “stupid” or “evil” to describe my neighbors. Even if they elect soft on crime crooks and wonder why the city keeps getting worse.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
I sometimes ask myself or others: If you could have your lifestyle, if you won the lottery or whatever - would you take it? Most people want what you have.
But I'm not so sure. The more wealth you acquire the more problems sprout up. Everyone thinks they'd be immune to those problems, but they never are.
I'm starting to think the man who can say no to wealth, without regret, is pretty darn wise. If only we had some politicians who could.
"Give me neither poverty nor riches" -David
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 9mo ago
My wife screams at me when I express my cheapness: "You want to die rich?" and I laugh and say exactly. To die rich, you have to LIVE rich. Rich isn't about what you have spent money on, but about having large savings. A person can live in a log cabin and still be "rich" BUT on the other hand, a dear friend of mine who was laid off of her corporate job a year ago is struggling mentally because she has a big home and luxury cars but a small savings account.
I do splurge from time to time. I got a Mazda CX-5 for sale on New Years because I wanted a reliable, nice car. We go on nice vacations each year.
chunky 9mo ago
I often say, if you want to be rich, live like you are poor. If you want to be poor, live like you are rich.
hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
Many people don’t understand that their “career” lasts between 20 and 40 and the rest of their time working is an attempt to string together ways to get paid. I’m on the verge of 40 (38 soon) and employment opportunities are looking bleak. Thank God I have significant savings and investments in case I end up down the forced entrepreneurship route.
Mundane_Worldliness7 Sr. Hamster Analyst 9mo ago
Literally as opposed to metaphorical crying.
mattyanon TRP Endorsed 9mo ago
Single mom looking for commitment and resources from an attractive man is like a short obese man looking for casual sex with a hottie.